A New Man of an Old Era
by nevereatdirt
Summary: Cronus Ampora, recent high school graduate and self-proclaimed cool guy, finds himself newly located at a prestigious college with an adorably aggravating suite mate and a Freshman adviser that he can't get out of his head.
1. A New Man in a New Place

He never could understand why people were the way they were. Or why they could come and go so quickly from his life. So it was with the beginning of this new year. All of his friends from high school had forgotten him already and nobody from his orientation seemed to recognize him. Who the fuck did they think they were anyway? He's Cronus fucking Ampora and he is a god among men! Or so he likes to come across to people as. In all honestly when he looks at himself in the mirror he still sees the bespectacled little Harry Potter wannabe whose limbs never fit his body. Or that awkward boy whose speech impediment made everyone just laugh at him in the third grade. But at some point he decided to let them all go fuck themselves, or rather to get all of them to fuck _him_, as it just so happens. As tough of an act as he may have put on though, no one seemed to want anything to do with him.

So he vowed that college would be different.

He discarded his hipster specs and got contacts. He let his love of wizards slide into hiding for a new love of motorcycles, cars and anything with a pulse. He started to make music and call people doll. And most importantly he decided that he was an anachronism: a man out of time. A man that belonged in the 1950s and not in this hellish waste of a 21st century. Which would have been fantastic had he known anything about the 1950s outside of what he'd seen in Grease and Happy Days. Nevertheless, he set out to turn himself into a new man devoted to an old era.

But for now he's in a suite, guiding people carrying his things to put them in his room while he tries to find the best way to arrange everything. Before he could begin to plan though, he heard a noise in the common room. He looked in and saw his suite mate running around, his black hair hanging in eyes and his father watching him carefully.

At this point Cronus realized that putting down that his depression gave him the need for a "special needs" room may have been an exaggeration. But he shrugged it off. With a special needs room he only had the one suite mate, though he seemed to be quite the reta—er, mentally challenged individual. He decided to introduce himself later and continue to arrange his room in the most aesthetically pleasing way possible.

He set to his task with every intent of doing just that when his father and step bitch walked into the room with two brats in tow. His brother glared at him through thick rimmed glasses while his father just looked around the room dismissively. He didn't care what his step bitch and sister were doing. He wished they'd just choke on a piece of fish and die already for all he cared. Those bitches be crazy. Though he had to admit the talkative one was all right. She was hot too, in a Catholic school girl kinda way. If he was being completely honest he could watch her talk for days on end, though her _words_ weren't exactly what he was interested in. Before he could get too lost in thought, his father cleared his throat.

"Cronus." He looked around the room and wrinkled his nose in disapproval.

"Yes Father?" He always had to drop his tough guy act for his dad. If he spoke to his dad the way he did anyone else, he'd be cut off from his money faster than he could list all of the Harry Potter characters in alphabetical order. Which was remarkably quickly and he would never admit to such a thing in his life anytime soon. At least not in front of any cool company.

"I hope that you won't be keeping your room in this state of... disarray."

Cronus furrowed his brow. "Of course not. I'm just... rearranging." His father always found the best ways to make him feel terrible as soon as he'd entered a room. He'd _just _moved in here. How did he expect him to already have the place in ship shape? Oh right. He was a Navy officer. That's how. He looked back to his room. "It should only be a few hours before I have my things settled in."

"Good. I'd hate to see you grow lax in that."

His step bitch chuckled and he had the sudden urge to kick her teeth in, but he though better of it. No need to stain the carpet after just moving in. "I won't, Father." Oh he would. He would grow lax as fuck in that. Artists need disarray like fish need water.

Before his father could press anymore, his step sister spoke up. "Moooooooom! When are we gonna go see Aranea? I'm sick of being in this lame loser's room!"

Her mother looked down at her. "We're going soon, don't worry." She looked at his father. "Orphanos."

"Spineret."

"We should go see how my eldest is doing. Maybe make sure that ruffian she's supposed to have for a suite mate doesn't try to, and I quote, spike a bitch up on the pointy end of a whaling spear." Never had Cronus wanted to hug her like he did in that moment. Anything to get his father out of the room. "Come now darling, before she starts to fear for her precious little life." She smirked and that was when Cronus knew that they were going.

"Fine. We'll go see how Aranea is faring with her suite mate." He looked back to Cronus. "I trust you'll be all right here?" He nodded. "Good. We will see you later." He gave his eldest a quick pat on the shoulder and the four of them left without another word.

After he was sure they weren't coming back, he started to move his things and blast some Cherry Poppin' Daddies. It was a perfect band for his transition from hipsterdom to greaserhood. Just unheard of enough for him to have sought out and just swing enough to fit his new persona. While he put his things away, he heard a chime from his phone. He pulled it out and gave it a look.

_:o)_

_oh shit not you again. wvhat the fuck do you evwen wvant?_

_:o)_

_no. no no no fuck you i aint doin this not today. todays supposed to be a good day_

He put his phone on silent. He thought he'd blocked that number, but somehow that _guy _just kept getting through. To take his mind off of it he walked into the common room and saw his suite mate sprawled on the ground with a coloring book. He cocked an eye brow and sat next to him. "Whacha colorin there, chief?"

The messy haired boy looked up at him and smiled in the way that only children smile. "It's a bee!"

Cronus smiled and put his arm on the other boy's shoulder. "I bet it is, chief."

His suite mate's smile disappeared quickly. "Why are you touching me?"

"Hey what's some touching between suite mates?" He licked his lip suggestively.

"Please stop touching me!"

"What, why man? I ain't doin' nothin' wrong!"

"STOP TOUCHING ME YOU FUCKING CUNT!" He began to push Cronus away with surprising strength.

"Whoa whoa whoa man, fine!" He scooted away feeling rather rejected. "No need to yell, jeez, give a guy a break here!" He scrunched his eyebrows and looked away.

The other boy sat up and hung his head. "I'm sorry." He scooted over so he was across from Cronus, smiling again. "I'm Mituna! Have you seen my hamlet?"

"Uh, I'm Cronus. And I didn't know you had a hamlet."

"I need to find my hamlet." He stood up and ran into his room. As he did Cronus noticed that he was wearing what he could only assume were a pair of bee wings. He chuckled to himself and wandered back to his room to put his things away.

Once he was there, he turned his fan to the open window and closed the doors, making sure to put a towel under them so that no smoke would escape. He lit a cigarette and just watched as the rest of the students moved into the twin dorms of Derse and Prospit.


	2. A New Man Meets a New Face

Cronus relished the stinging smoke from his cigarette as he exhaled. It curled in front of his mouth in lazy swirls as it drifted out the window. He'd always loved cigarettes, even before he could smoke them. The way they smelled, the way they tasted, and the way that no matter what you were doing or who you were, you were guaranteed to look cooler with a cigarette in your mouth. He snubbed the cigarette out in his ash tray and leaned back in his chair. Life in the dorms had proven to be pretty good for the first day, even if he hadn't started any classes or actually done anything but sit around in his room playing music and smoking cigs while his suite mate was doing god knows what in his bee themed room.

That was when he heard the first knock on his door. He slowly rose from his chair and stretched, trying to touch the ceiling but failing miserably in the process. He had no idea who was at the door, and he didn't really care. They could wait. If they were knocking on his door, they _obviously_ knew who he was and would feel _grateful _to get even a minute of his time. He dumped his ashtray in the bin and put it back on the windowsill. As he moved languidly around the room, he heard a second, louder knock at the door and decided that whoever was there had waited long enough to be graced with his presence.

He opened the door and was surprised to see an Indian boy nearly a head shorter than him looking incredibly haughty standing with his arms folded over what could only be described as the cutest ugly sweater in the world, complete with reindeer. Cronus raised his eyebrows and leaned against the door frame. "To what do I owe this great pleasure, oh diminutive one?" He smirked, knowing that that was sure to rile this little firecracker up.

Instead it merely elicited a heavy sigh and a slow eye roll. "I assume that you're the resident of this half of the suite." He had a slight Indian accent underneath what Cronus could only assume was supposed to be a generic news caster voice.

"What's it to ya?"

"I simply had a request to make of the resident in this room."

"Yeah that's me. Cronus Ampora. What can I do ya for?" _Subtle innuendo is the way to anyone's heart, no matter how tiny or higher-than-thou they are, _Cronus thought to himself as he smirked.

"I don't mean any offense, but the smoke from your room could be smelled from down the hallway and as your Fresh person adviser I find that it's my unfortunate duty to have to tell you that you cannot smoke in the dormitories. If you must smoke, please go to at least twenty five feet from the doorway so that the smoke does not enter the building. Furthermore, I am going to let you off with a warning this time, though your actions may be triggering to people in the building who have had relatives or friends die from lung cancer caused by smoking cigarettes or inhaling secondhand smoke. As such, I ask that you refrain from smoking so that I not only do not have to write you up, but so that you do not trigger any of the other residents.

"If you do not understand, then I will just have to tell you all of this information in elongated detail and I am afraid that with tomorrow being the move in day for the rest of the non-Fresh person residents I do not have much time to stay. Shall I have you write down a list of your triggers so that I may inform the other residents what to not bring up in front of you?"

Cronus was dumbfounded. He thought that his step sister was long winded over ridiculous things, but at least her stories had a point past telling him off. The kid was lucky he was cute. "Look, man..."

"Kankri. And I would appreciate it if you didn't use such sexist language to address people. Though I am not offended by it personally, some may find it incredibly triggering."

"Uh, yeah. Sure sure I got ya." He put his hands in his pockets. "So you just want me to smoke _outside._"

"Precisely. That was the intention of what I'd told you."

"Will you go with me?" Hell, this Kankri kid might not have been his first choice to snag a smog with, but he was easy on the eyes.

"Why would I go with you when I don't smoke?"

Cronus shrugged. "Maybe to enjoy this beautiful weather, and listen to me crank out some sweet riffs, or to just look at my gorgeous face."

A slight blush crept across his already dark skin. "I think not. I can't become too attached to any singular Fresh person here else it might compromise my position as your adviser this semester."

"Just this semester?" Cronus felt like he might be gaining some footing here.

"Yes. Each floor in every hall has two resident advisers and one Fresh person adviser. The resident advisers take it upon themselves to watch over the happenings of everyone in the hall but mostly on their floor. The Fresh person adviser is to watch over all first year students for their first semester to make sure that they don't find themselves in any trouble, like you smoking in your room. Had a resident adviser caught you, you would have been written up instead of politely told to not and to instead go to the outside and partake in your lung killing habit."

"Okay, okay, so you mean that this semester you're just gonna make sure that I don't fall face first into shit."

"Without such crude, offensive, and triggering language, yes I suppose so."

Cronus shrugged. "I guess we'll see where this semester leads then." He smiled, mostly to himself, but he had a feeling that this wouldn't be last encounter with cranky. He frowned as he realized that he'd already forgotten the other boy's name.

The shorter boy sighed. "I suppose so. I'll see you at the resident meeting tomorrow night. Please be prompt." With that he turned an walked away before Cronus could even formulate a witty rebuttal.

As he closed the door, he damned his memory for names and climbed up to his lofted bed to take a nap. Loquacious encounters always made him tired.

_He was fifteen sitting in the band room. Except it wasn't quite the band room. There were too many shadows and the colors were all greys and blues and shifting. There were three upper class men sitting across from him in a semi circle, with a fire between them spluttering and making the shadows and the room dance even more. One of the upper class men had a mess of wavy dyed black hair flying everywhere, but his face was a skull. Why was his face a skull? His face wasn't supposed to be a skull it was supposed to be a face. The girl sitting across his lap had a Cheshire Cat grin and black eyes. Oh god why were her eyes black? The last upper class man looked much like the first, but with naturally brown hair and a clown's face. The one with the skull for a face spoke._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_The dreamer cleared his throat and spoke softly. "I don't know."_

_The girl laughed and hid her face in skull face's shoulder as he spoke again. "Do you know who we are?"_

_"No."_

_"We're the ones who are going to keep you from your destiny."_

_"What?"_

_Suddenly the world began to spin and skull face's voice began to change. "You're a wizard, Harry."_

Cronus snapped awake, a cold layer of sweat drenching him. He sat up and rubbed his face, wondering why his eyes felt so scratchy and remembering that he didn't take out his contacts before he went to sleep. He looked at the clock and realized that he'd slept longer than he'd anticipated, though that dream had felt like it was only a few seconds.

He got out of bed and wandered over to his sink to take out his contacts and put on his old glasses. When he looked in the mirror he hated what he saw with them on. They made him look weak and foolish and young. He'd picked these to fit more with his 1950s persona, but he was beginning to realize that no self respecting greaser would ever wear glasses. But just this once he didn't care. He needed to see to navigate the area and there was no way he was putting those contacts back in, not after he'd slept in them for that long.

He scratched the back of his neck and frowned as he muttered to himself, "Those were my last fuckin' pair, too. Gotta go to the pharmacy and order more." But he couldn't shake that dream from his mind. It felt too real even though it was so strange.

That man with the skull face... He knew who he was. But he couldn't bring himself to think about it. Not today. Today was supposed to be a good day.


	3. A New Man Full of Rage

_**Author's Note: **Near the end of the story, Cronus is listening to a band that I don't know if people actually know because I am in fact a little hipster shit that lives in the area that the bad is FROM. So just in case I though it would be best to tell you the title of the song and the band! He's listening to No One Said it Would be Easy by Cloud Cult. If you search for it on YouTube it'll be the first result on the page! I'd say to give it a listen when he starts to play music in his room if you want the most accurate experience possible_

* * *

Cronus stood under the spray of the shower to get the thin layer of grime off his his body. His dream had left him feeling sick and he was doing his best to forget about it. He knew a good way to take his mind off of things, but he saw the stern warning on the door to the shower telling him not to. As such, he simply washed the pomade out of his hair and let the product and sweat run into the drain. Once he felt like he was as clean as he was going to get, he wrapped his towel around his waist, grabbed his things and went back to his room. Once there, he toweled himself off and lay on his bed with his eyes closed.

He wanted his dream out of his head, so he started to think about anything else that he could. He sat back and thought about the trip to the Caribbean his family had taken after he and Aranea had graduated.

_She was wearing a little blue bikini and he'd been wearing a retro pair of black swim trunks. They'd taken one of his father's boats out to where no one could see them. She dove from the deck into the water, her gear already set up and he waited for her to resurface. He thought it was bad luck to leave the boat alone, though he wasn't sure if it would be worse luck to leave her alone in the water. But she was tougher than she let on. He could tell that that girl was going to be a lot like the step bitch when she was older. He just hoped that she'd be kinder._

_When she came up from the water, he was in the cabin and she had no idea that he was there, and to this day he was glad about that. Her gear had gotten caught on her suit and he watched as she stripped down to nothing and untangled the suit; then she struggled to fit her curves into the suit that had begun to shrink from the heat of the sun and the deck. It had looked tight on her before, but after it had shrunken it looked like it was trying especially hard to cover her. He ran into the lower deck to hide before she saw him, his erection already painful..._

Before he even had a chance to play out the rest of the heavily embellished memory, there was a loud knock at his door followed by a lisping voice shouting. "Tuna! Tuna I know this is your room! I brought all that shit you forgot!" Cronus sighed and put on a pair of pants and his glasses, not even bothering to fix his hair before he opened the door this time.

The boy the voice belonged to looked almost exactly like an insincere version of his suite mate with even worse hair,stupid 3D glasses, and carrying an absurd pile of things. "Hey, man, this ain't the right room. I think you're lookin' for the room next door."

3D specs frowned. "Of course it's not his room. He's shit with numbers anymore. You wanna let me in so I can get this shit to him?" He gestured with his armful.

"Uh, yeah sure." He backed up and let specs through. "What the fuck is all that shit anyway?"

Specs shrugged. "It's all the shit that my brain damaged twin forgot to bring with him."

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "So that's what's up with him?"

"Yeah, he's one profane shit and a total spaz. Can't go two steps without him flappin his arms and falling down."

"I didn't notice none a that."

"Then what the fuck did you see?" He sat the stuff down on a chair in the common room.

"He was like actin' like a little kid and talkin' about bees?"

That made specs throw his head back and make unintelligible noises. "I hate when he does that. That's actually an act. He told me that he does that one to get people to leave him alone or just to fuck with people."

"No shit."

"Yeah."

Cronus shrugged. "I used to tell people that I thought I was actually a tachikoma when I was a kid to get attention."

"From like Ghost in the Shell?"

"Yeah. It was pretty great and then it got old so I went back to bein' a little hipster shit that was into like obscure movies and music. Oh speakin' a music, while we're waitin you wanna hear any a mine?" He grinned broadly.

"Uh, if you put on a shirt maybe."

Cronus laughed. "Yeah I get that you don't wanna be distracted from my music by my body. I wouldn't wanna have to deal with that much perfection in one room either. Gimme a second, I'll grab my iPhone and a shirt." He went back to his room and put on his shirt. His phone was already in his pocket. "Okay yeah, here. This one's pretty cool if I say so myself. But I should ask what sort of stuff are you into? You look like a techno kinda guy, am I right?"

"Uh, yeah I guess. Techno would be a thing I was into if it were like 1985 I guess. I'm a dubstep man myself."

"Oh shit, sorry yeah a course you're a dubstep kinda guy lemme get a better one." He picked a song he liked to call _Let's Lose the Clothes and Hit the Shores_ and waited for specs to respond for a split second. After he said nothing, Cronus just kept talking. "I've been makin' music for a while now and I like to think that I'm finally findin' my signature sound. I mean bitches can't resist a sensitive musician like myself, you know what I mean? I love it when the potential ladies start to get excited when my music plays, man."

"As interesting as this is, Noah Bennett, I do not give a shit. Now if you could put that pathetic excuse for a bass drop away double quick, I could get my bee clad twin outta his room and have you leave."

Cronus frowned. "Just who the fuck do you think you, are insultin' my fantastic music? I worked my fuckin' ass off to make this awesome!"

"I'm Sollux Captor and your music sucks."

"Well Thollukth Captor, you and your brain damaged twin are both assholes."

Sollux shrugged. "Takes one to know one."

"I think I fuckin' hate you."

"Sucks to suck." He turned on his heel and knocked on Mituna's door.

After Mituna came out, Cronus stomped back to his room and slammed the door behind him. Glaring at the closed door, he almost wished that he hadn't fucked that up so that he could make them listen to more of his music. But fuck them. What was wrong with them? Why didn't they like him? He was a perfectly fantastic specimen of awesome, how could anyone _not _like him?

He sighed and dug through his music looking for something to make him feel better, finally settling on Cloud Cult. If his 1950s persona suffered a little for it he didn't care. He needed something familiar and somewhat happy to keep him from shouting at the door to the common room. He sat at his desk and stared at his wrists instead of thinking about what had just happened.

And then he heard the words that he needed to hear from the first song on the album. He took a deep breath and put his hands flat on the desk; he let his breath out in a long sigh and closed his eyes. He knew that this living wasn't always easy, but there was no reason to do anything rash because some stranger didn't like his music.

He opened his eyes and started to look for a notebook and a pen. If he needed to feel something big, he should write it down. He could write the lyrics to his next big song, or a poem to change the lives of everyone that read it. People love shit like that.


	4. And Now For Someone Completely Different

Kankri sat in the University Center with his laptop open as he lectured to people on the internet about just how triggering and offensive their actions and words were. He wanted to continue his increasingly verbose essay but he felt someone sit next to him in the booth. He looked up and saw his foster sister with two coffee cups. Of course.

She smiled at him as she spoke. "Hello, Kanny."

"Porrim."

"What were you typing about so zealously there?"

He looked toward the ceiling and sighed, slightly irritated to have been interrupted in his diatribe. "I was merely explaining to a few persons on the internet that their use of homophobic terms in such a jovial sense may be highly triggering to some individuals and that by telling me to "Just relax" about it is trivializing their struggles."

Porrim frowned as she read what he'd written. "You didn't even mention how they used feminine attributes to put each other down. Are you just blatantly ignoring the sexism in everything you see now, or is it just when I'm around?"

He frowned to match hers. "I didn't _ignore_ it so much as not mention it. I didn't feel that it was as major of an issue as the inequality faced by the LGBT community."

"I love you, Kankri but one of these days I am going to kick your ugly sweatered ass into next Tuesday for your backwards social justice blogging." Kankri's mouth fell open in a wordless rage. "Don't make that face, you look ridiculous."

"Backwards social justice blogging?"

"You'll get over it, you're a big boy now. In college even. One would think you'd start to wear less jarring sweaters."

"_Backwards social justice blogging_?"

She rolled her eyes and pushed one of the cups towards him. "Suck it up and drink some coffee you short sighted brat."

He begrudgingly grabbed the cup and took a sip, then looked back at her. "You got me my favorite flavor..."

"Of course I did you bratty sweater ball, what did you expect?" He shrugged one shoulder. "How's being the big Freshman on campus treating you?"

"I feel that being a Fresh person adviser was probably my best choice. It allowed me to learn all of the rules, offensive behavior and triggering phrases to avoid while speaking with the other residents while also earning some small level of respect without having to listen to their offensive speech patterns on end."

She frowned. "Now you're saying Fresh person instead of Freshman?"

"I feel that the term doesn't reflect the gender dysmorphia that some may be feeling when they enter the dorms and as such it is outdated."

"So you're concerned about the gender dysmorphia in your dorm but not with the latent gender bias and sexism in our society. Smooth." She took a drink from her coffee.

"I've told you how I feel about those things, Porrim. I just feel that there are more important issues that need to be brought to the forefront before we can deal with such trifling issues."

"Trifling issues? _Trifling_ issues? I'm beginning to feel triggered by your ignorance and combative language again."

"I beg your pardon. I'll do my best in future to not be so aggressively upfront with my views on pressing issues, though it may have helped if you'd told me ahead of time what was going to trigger you today so that I could avoid the topic."

Porrim rolled her eyes and attempted to go back to an amiable topic. "So being an adviser is working out for you so far, then?"

"Oh yes absolutely."

"Have any troublesome residents so far?"

"Only a few. Most of them were just violating the quiet hours, though there was one smoking in his room."

Porrim smirked. "Already? That usually doesn't happen until classes start. Was he high when you found him?"

Kankri blinked. "No he wasn't high, he was smoking cigarettes."

"So there was literally just some idiot smoking in his room. Not even someone trying to get high." He nodded sagely. "That might be one of the most idiotic things I've heard a Freshman do in his first day in the dorms. Or at least the most idiotic sober thing. He was sober, right?"

"Of course he was. Or at least I assumed he was. There was really no way to be sure." He took a sip of his coffee and then asked sheepishly, "How do you tell if someone isn't sober?"

Porrim laughed. "Well in my experience it's pretty obvious when someone's been drinking. Generally they're a bit more prone to say what's on their mind or to do the things that they want to do. Depending on just how much they've had, they may be a bit more open to experiences or trying something new."

Kankri took another sip, deep in thought. "He may have been drunk. He was rather forward in his mannerisms. I found that his presumption could have been triggering to some, though I was in such a rush to check on all of the posters, fliers, and brochures that I'd put in the hall regarding rules, regulations, and offensive and triggering materials that I neglected to mention it."

Porrim sighed. "He could have just been messing with you, Kankri. You think that everyone is forward in their mannerisms."

"Yes, well, as I lead a relatively chaste life compared to some of us at this table, I do have a different view on what exactly is forward."

"You'd best stop that line of thought before I force you into better clothes, Kankri."

He blinked. "Oh I was slut shaming? Sorry about that. Chastity privilege in check."

"That's it." She pulled her bag off her shoulder and began to dig through it. "I've been keeping these in here just in case for a while now." She pulled out a wrapped package from her bag and put it on the table. "Open this and put one on."

"What?"

"I've made you sweaters for every time you've slut shamed me and apologized in the past month and I decided to make one extra one for the day I decided to give this to you just in case."

"Why did you make them?"

"To give you a visual on how much you do it."

He frowned as he tore the brown paper off of six sweaters. "Why are they all red or black?"

"Because I had a lot of yarn in those colors; now put one on."

He grabbed the top red one and ran his thumbs over it. "I need to go to the rest room to put it on..."  
"We are literally the only two in the UC apart from the workers and they have seen much worse than your scrawny ass de-sweatering, I assure you. I work here, so I know this for a fact."

"Well I still need to get out."

"All right." She slid out and he followed suit.

He gripped the bottom of his grey cat sweater. "I don't really want to take this one off. I think that my unoffending feline sweater will more than suffice."

"Nope. You shame the slut you get the scarlet sweater." She waved him on.

"I'm only doing this because you won't stop telling me to do this until I do it. I hope you know that."

"Don't be that way. Your new sweater is beautiful and wonderful and handmade so put it on and quit acting like a child."

He finally gave in and pulled off his sweater, revealing a short sleeved button up tucked into high waisted pants. He put the old sweater on the table and picked up the red one he'd been thumbing earlier. As he slipped it over his head, he noticed that it had more than ample room inside of it and that it fit him much better than his old ones ever had. That made him smile a little. "Thank you, Porrim."

"Don't you dare thank me for being shamed. I want you to remember what that sweater stands for every time you put it on. Know that you have been marked. You are now an anti Hestor Prynne, who was marked with a scarlet letter for having had a child out of wedlock. You are Kankri Vantas and you have been marked with a scarlet sweater for being a slut shamer."

He frowned. "I don't think I like that very much."

"Then you should have thought about that before you said anything." She gestured back to the booth. "You can sit back down if you want now."

He nodded curtly as he sat back down. He really did hate just how much his foster sister could get under his skin sometimes. But she cared more about him than any of the foster moms he'd had.


	5. A New Man Goes to Store

Cronus woke with a start when his alarm went off. He'd fallen asleep at his desk, his face resting in his note book and ink smeared where it had been. He stood up, stretching as he did so to relieve some of the tension from having slept like he did. A quick glance at his phone told him that he'd slept through his first alarm and that it was about ten in the morning. He stripped out of the clothes he'd fallen asleep in and began to dress for the day. When he looked in the mirror to fix his sleep matted hair he realized that there was ink on his face. He scrubbed at it until he felt that he couldn't get anymore off and then went back to combing and styling his hair.

He'd always taken great pride in his appearance, even when he was younger, which was why he took the time to make everything perfect. Once his hair was no longer matted, he grabbed a spray bottle and wet his hair down, being sure to comb it back as he did. After he'd done that, he grabbed his pomade and started to sculpt his hair into his new signature look. It was a little more difficult than his old sculpted bed head, but he honestly felt like it was the right look for him. It showed off the somatic mutation at his hairline, though he'd always wished that the rest of his hair was black instead of his deep brown just for the contrast between the black and white.

After a good hour of fussing with his hair, he cleaned his switchblade comb and put it in his back pocket, finally ready to face the outside world. He put his boots on and then grabbed his helmet and his most well worn leather jacket, making sure that he had his keys in his pocket before he locked the door as he left. Exiting the building, he grabbed a cigarette from his pack and his matchbook. He'd prefer to use his Zippo but the damn thing would never light. Little did he know, there was no fluid in it; that's something that he would have to get himself. With the cigarette in his mouth he struck a match and brought it to the tip. Once he could feel smoke entering his mouth, he shook the match and threw it in the ashtray as he walked toward his baby.

He'd named it Dualscar, after his own two scars on his forehead.

He just loved to admire his motorcycle. It was custom, and a graduation present from his mom. He hadn't seen her in ages, but he was glad that she still cared enough to send him cool shit, even if she was an absentee parent. Sometimes he wondered if he'd see her again soon, but he just didn't know what he'd do since the last time they'd even spoken on the phone he was twelve and still obsessed with magic. So passé. He threw his cigarette on the ground and stamped it out, making sure to grind as much as he could to an ashy powder for dramatic effect. When he looked up he saw a group of hipster girls staring at him nearby so he smiled as charmingly as he could and gave them a quick wave.

One flipped him off and the others just laughed.

He really didn't understand why people reacted that way to him. He was a nice guy, not to mention charming as fuck. Rat bastards anyway. They should have felt _privileged_ to have even been near him!

He flipped the girls the double bird and then gestured very obscenely at them. That'd show 'em. After they were left with their mouths agape, he walked towards Dualscar and put on his helmet. He mounted the bike and revved it up, being sure to take care not to hit anything as he pulled out.

Once he was on the open road, or rather driving through town, he felt more alive and free than he felt doing almost anything else. He wished that he could take off the helmet, but the wind would mess his hair up even more than it would and he didn't want that. Besides, the anonymity it gave him was such a rush that he couldn't resist. He could be anyone with it on, and for someone like him that was a great release.

The feeling was short lived this trip as he pulled into the pharmacy parking lot and left his baby in a stall with the helmet strapped on the side. He strode through the door and to the counter, confidant that his presence would be noticed right away. He leaned on the counter and smiled at the pharmacist as charmingly as he could. "Hey doll, you think you could get me my prescription?" He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked back. A middle aged woman gestured to the line behind her and he just scoffed. "What? I've just got one thing to get! I ain't hurtin' no one!" He crossed his arms over his chest.

She glared. "We're all getting something young man, so get in line."

He frowned deeply. "Fine." He shoved his hands in his pocket and made his way to the end. Once there he realized he was standing behind his Fresh person, er, Freshman adviser. The short boy had a cowlick in the back of his hair that Cronus just wanted to reach down and smooth out for him. He thought about it for a few seconds and then he gave in, which caused the Indian boy to spin around and slap his hand away.

He looked shocked at his own actions as he brought his hand to his chest, though it looked as though he was glad that it was someone he had met once already. "You shouldn't touch people without asking them first. It can be very triggering to some."

Cronus shrugged. "Sorry, Kan," he remembered the name was Kan...something, "I just couldn't resist tryin' to smooth down that cute little cowlick on the back of your head."

He reached up and felt where Cronus had touched. "I don't... I find it to be incredibly offensive that you assumed that I would want my hair to be smoothed down. I happen to like my hair the way it is and I would appreciate it if you didn't attempt to change it without my consent."

Cronus laughed. "Yeah Kan, I get that, sorry. I wouldn't want anyone to change _my _hair without my consent. Shit, yeah, hair rape ain't cool. I won't do nothin' like that to you again, all right?"

Kan frowned. "Though your language is once again triggering and offensive, Cronus, your point is well made. I would, however, appreciate it if you did not equate hair being non-consensually mussed to sexual assault. It could be very offensive to some and most definitely triggering to others. Furthermore, if you could stop referring to me as Kan and refer to me as Kankri that would be most appreciated."

"Hey, I just thought it was an appropriate nickname for you! Does it offend you?"

He blinked once. "No."

"Then what's the issue?"

He tilted his head to the side as they moved forward in the line. "I suppose there isn't an inherent issue with it so much as I simply prefer to use full names when I can."

Cronus shrugged. "Ain't no thing, man," he paused and looked down, "Uh, sorry. You said somethin' yesterday about my sexist language? I'll try to stop that." He gave Kankri the best smile he could.

Kankri's face flushed a little at Cronus's smile. "Thank you for making an effort to mind your triggering language. I greatly appreciate it and I'm sure that anyone that would be triggered by it would appreciate it as well, especially those who may not necessarily belong in the perceived dichotomy of sex and gender."

"Hey yeah I get that. I mean, not the sex and gender thing but the not belongin' thing. I ain't never really belonged, you know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I feel like I was born in the wrong era. Like some things just don't make sense to me and the 1950s just had such a rad style that I don't know why I wasn't born then."

"Rad, you say?"

"Yeah, you dig?"

"I can see where it is you're coming from." He smiled a little.

The two remained quiet for a few seconds, a rarity for both of them, until Cronus cleared his throat. "So, uh, what brings you to this fine establishment?"

"I've been sent by the resident advisers to procure prophylactics for the residents. He also told me that with as many as I needed to get that I would have to ask at the counter, which, as you can see, still has a slight line."

Cronus nodded, not entirely sure what a prophylactic actually was, but wanting to not look ignorant. "So did you drive here then?"

"No, I walked. I do not actually have a license, so I am slightly offended by your assumption that I drove here."

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "That's like an hour's walk. Do you want a ride back? I've got my bike here and you can ride behind me on it."

"I do not believe that two grown men would fit on a bicycle, but thank you."

Cronus chuckled to himself. "No, no, no, it's a _motor_cycle. You can even wear my helmet if you want."

Kankri thought for a few moments and then looked back at Cronus. "I'll see just how much I have to carry."

"All right cool then."

Kankri looked ahead of them. "It appears as though it is my turn in line, if you would like to go ahead of me to procure your one item, then you may." He folded his arms over his chest and pulled at the strap of his backpack.

"Hey thanks! I'll just be a hot second and then I gotta pay, so you'll have time to get your stuff while I do that. Will you need any help?"

"I may, though I'm not sure. Now take your turn before a line forms behind us."

Cronus smiled and nodded. "All right." He walked up the counter and asked the pharmacist to order his contacts or to see if they had the proper prescription in stock. Unfortunately they didn't have them in stock, but they would have them in the next day so he could pick them up then.

He wandered away from the counter and looked around the pharmacy. It wasn't huge, though it seemed to have the essential pharmaceuticals. He grabbed some Tylenol and went over to pay for it. After he'd done that he looked back at the counter and saw Kankri talking off the pharmacist's ears, so he walked over to see what was going on.

On the counter were about twenty boxes of condoms in different varieties and sizes. Cronus smirked and leaned against the counter facing Kankri. "There a problem here?"

Kankri looked at him with a deep set frown. "I can't afford to get all of these with what I thought to bring with me."

Cronus looked at them then back to the other boy. "I can get them for you, that's no problem."

"What?"

"Yeah I can buy em for you." He saw an opportunity and seized it, grinning like a shark. "But I'll only get them if you go get lunch with me today."

Kankri sighed. "This does not seem to be a very fair agreement, as I have to get these for our floor meeting tonight."

Cronus shrugged. "Hey it's up to you. Do you want to let down the floor?"

"I suppose not." He hung his head and looked away. "Fine."

Cronus laughed. "All right!" He looked at the pharmacist again. "Hey, doll, how much are these going to cost me?" There were roughly forty boxes of twelve on the counter next to a list that was apparently in Kankri's handwriting.

"The total comes to $677.98."

Cronus shrugged and pulled out his credit card, handing it to her. "You take Visa?"

"Yes, though you can run it through right there." She pointed to the machine and he swiped it through, then signed for it. After he did that, she bagged the boxes and handed them to the boys., saying in a practiced script, "Thank you, have a nice day."

"Yeah you too, doll." And with that the two of them left the pharmacy, bags in hand.

Kankri stopped at a bench by the entrance and opened his bag, putting the boxes carefully inside so that he could arrange them in the best way possible. Cronus took the bags that he was carrying back to Dualscar and put them in the compartment beneath his seat. He grabbed his helmet and walked back to Kankri. "Here."

Kankri looked up from moving the boxes. "I hope you don't think that I need your charity. I may not be monetarily privileged, but I do have a job."

"Hey, it really isn't anything. I just wanted you to go to lunch with me." He smiled as charmingly as he could.

"Oh." He moved the last few boxes into his bag and then tucked the plastic ones on top of them. "I hope that you realize that this has no impact on anything, as I cannot become too attached to any..."

"Yeah I got that the first time you said it. I just think you're cute and wanted to get lunch."

Kankri's face flushed as he slung his backpack over his shoulders. "I would appreciate it if you didn't call me cute. Some people may be offended by your same-sex compliments."

"Well those people can suck my cock for all I care; they're assholes. Now come on." Kankri followed behind him, unsure of what to say. "Be sure to put on the helmet." Cronus swung his leg over the bike and watched as Kankri did as he was told. It looked a little ridiculous on him with his bright read turtle neck and his over stuffed backpack.

"Now what?"

"Now you get on." Kankri did. "And hold on." He grabbed Cronus's shoulders. "No, no, no, grab my waist or you'll fall right off."

"But I don't think..."

"Hey you're tiny and that sweater is huge. People will probably just think you're an attractive nerd girl with a bad ass greaser."

"I feel offended that you think people would think I'm a girl."

Cronus raised his eyebrows and looked over his shoulder. "How is that something to be offended by?"

Kankri sighed. "I suppose you have a point." He slid his arms around Cronus's waist, his grip tight.

"All right now that you're in position we can get going." He went through the process of starting the bike and then they took off.

As he drove, Cronus was glad that he was wearing his glasses, though he really would have preferred wearing his helmet. He didn't care, though. He could tell that Kankri had never been on a bike before just from the way he was leaning into him and clinging. He wanted to look back because he felt like it was probably adorable, but he kept his eyes on the road. No need to cause an accident. He loved himself too much for that.

Once back at the dorm, he parked the bike and let Kankri get off first, then hopped off to grab the two bags under his seat. At the door, Kankri let them in and they walked to his suite. He looked up at Cronus. "Thank you for the help."

"Hey it was nothing, really."

Kankri sighed. "No, I mean it. You didn't have to do that. It was very kind." He looked like what he was saying almost pained him. "Though I feel that your offer was rather presumptuous, it was, in the end, for the best. So thank you."

"I'll come get you for lunch tomorrow then?"

His face flushed. "Meet me at the University Center at noon. We can find somewhere on campus."

Cronus smiled. "All right, cool then. It's a date!" He turned and walked back to his room leaving Kankri to object later.

Fuck what he thought about yesterday. Today was already better.


	6. A New Man Thinks of the Past

_**TW:**__Brief mentions of cutting near the end of the chapter._

* * *

Cronus sat outside under a tree, strumming his guitar and smoking a cigarette. He'd been working on a rift for his newest song, though he couldn't quite figure out just how he wanted it to go or what time signature the song should be in. Instead he just strummed and sang _In the Aeroplane Over the Sea_. He had to tune it down a little due to the range, but it was still a good song for him to crack out whenever he just wanted to play. A small crowd had gathered while he was playing, most of them hipster girls. One sat herself next to him and, when he was done, she smiled warmly at him. "You have a great voice."

He shrugged as he lit another cigarette. "Yeah, I know."

She furrowed her brow. "You're not even going to fake modesty?"

He laughed as he blew out smoke. "Modesty is a crutch for lesser men. When you're as amazin' as me, there's just no use bein' modest since people just see through all the pretense anyway." He looked at her and held out his cigarette. "You want a drag?"

"No thanks, I'll pass. I _value _the well being of my lungs, thank you very much."

"Hey I was just askin' no need to snark at me." He took a drag and looked at the side of the building. "So what's your name?"

"Nessa."

"Well Nessa, I'm Cronus, you wanna get outta here and get some coffee?"

She frowned. "I was going to ask but then I realized that you were actually a pompous dick, so no. I don't want to."

"Then why are you still here?"

"To keep the other girls from coming over and having to deal with you."

He frowned deeply and put his cig in his mouth. "Well if you're gonna be that way about it I'll just take myself back into my dorm and write about the bitch with the insultin' personality." He put his guitar away as he complained about her. "You can just go fuck yourself. I didn't even fuckin' _do _anything to you except say why I ain't fuckin' modest and offer you a drag a my cigarette! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I told you. You're a dick. That's what's wrong."

"Fine. Fuck you. I'm leavin' if that's the way it's gonna be." He slung his guitar case over his shoulder and threw the cigarette to the ground, taking care to stamp it out with great vigor.

He strode from the tree and back to his building. He opened the door and went back to his room, though he noticed when he entered that something was wrong. Someone had been in his room. He put his guitar back in its stand and walked into the common room. Sitting in there were Mituna, Sollux and a girl wearing stupid red sunglasses. They apparently didn't hear him come in and they were laughing at something between them. He crouched behind them and said quietly, "Which one of you useless fucks went into my fuckin' room?"

Sollux looked back at him first. "That would be me. See, Tuna said you had this sweet lookin' book that he wanted to see." He waved it in his hand. "Turns out it's a photo album. Who even has a photo album apart from old ladies and moms?"

"Oh fuck you it's a present from my little brother."

Sollux thumbed through it until he came to a picture of what looked like Cronus wearing a cape. "Okay so as ridiculous as this picture is with that stupid cape, how did this kid turn into you? This kid just looks like a pathetic sad sap looking for love and just getting shat on and you. Well you're just a self centered asshole. And not even an attractive one, at least you were cute in a sad way when you were a kid."

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "That's my fuckin' brother. I would never be caught dead in that stupid cape a his. Not even when I was a wizard lovin' little shit."

Sollux cackled. "Oh you loved wizards? That's cute. Did you cast spells on the people that made you mad? Did you get your Hogwarts acceptance letter or were you skipped over like the rest of we the uncivilized Americans?"

Cronus frowned. "I'll have you know that I have long since been disillusioned with magic because people are assholes." He snatched the album. "As for my Hogwarts letter, it's in here." He flipped to the back and showed them. "See?"

Sollux burst into laughter again. "Wow you were a precocious little shit to think that making a letter made it a thing."

"It was sent to me you heartless, dick! I happened to have gotten this via owl and everything. Though then I was told in a second letter that I was squib and that I would never be able to attend. Do you know how devastating that was to an eleven year old?"

Sollux scoffed. "I can imagine."

"But then I was told in a _third _to expect lessons on how to basically _gain_ magical powers. Let's just say that for the next few years I was more than obsessed. Until, well, I don't really want to talk about it. So you can fuck off and _stay outta my fuckin' room_." He turned and went back to his room, being sure to again slam the door behind him and locking it this time so that they couldn't come in without asking him first.

He climbed up to his bed and flipped through the album. He hated that some of his friends in it would never see him again. They'd stopped contacting him and responding to him over summer. Why exactly they did he would never know, and that pissed him off. So fuck them; he didn't need them. He stopped at the picture of his family before his parents' divorce. It was the last time he could remember the four of them being truly happy. Before his father became cold and his mom left the country. Before he started cutting and Eridan started asking about why mom wasn't around. Before the step bitch came into their lives with her stupid daughters and her ugly personality. Before he felt like his life had gone to shit.

But he wanted to put that all behind him. He tried to think of the positives coming his way. He had a date, or at least what he considered a date, with Kankri tomorrow. That was _one person_ that didn't seem to hate his very existence. And for him that meant a lot.


	7. Someone Different Sorts Prophylactics

Kankri had been working all afternoon on sorting the prophylactics into appropriately sized packages for the residents. He divided them first by size, and then by type. He honestly had no idea just what the difference between each type was, or what any type would really be useful for, so his sorting had come down to mostly guess work and intense Googling, though he took it upon himself to tell many of the people on the sites that he had ended his research journey on how their posts were triggering and offensive to many different groups of people.

Once he was satisfied with how each of the bags had been put together, he began to carry them to the lounge for the meeting. He was glad that he didn't have to talk about material that had such offending potential, though he worried about just how offensive the resident advisers would be to everyone. As he took the packages to the lounge he began to think of ways that the residents could list their triggers for them so that as few people as possible would be triggered and/or offended.

He saw Cronus coming down the hallway as he was headed toward the lounge, so he took it upon himself to duck out of the way. He'd felt rather offended by his insinuation that what they were going on would be a _date_. He'd only been on a handful of dates in his life, and all of them at been in early high school before he'd decided that he was going to lead a solitary life. He didn't need anyone to complete him, or to be _involved_ with him. He was perfectly happy.

He wanted to take his mind off of the date, so he began devising a way for everyone to list their triggers as they came into the lounge. He went down to the computer lab and printed out enough sheets for everyone to write down their triggers if they were comfortable in doing so. Looking at the clock, he realized that the meeting was going to start in roughly fifteen minutes and he still wasn't there. He moved as quickly as he could with the stack of papers so that he could get them there before too many of the residents had arrived.

He made it into the lounge in good time, though not before some residents had already made it there; however, the only one he noted specifically was Cronus, who was lounging on a sofa with his feet kicked up on the table in front of him. He waved to Kankri and gestured for him to sit next to him on the couch. He put the papers down on table nearest the door and walked over. He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head to the side. "I thought that I would come over here to tell you that I did not appreciate you calling our lunch appointment a date as I have expressly stated that I do not wish to become too attached to any of the Fresh persons on this floor."

Cronus grimaced. "Hey, I mean, it's just easier to call it a date, yeah? Like a lunch appointment just sounds stuffy. But a date, hey, that sounds like somethin' two hip and happenin' young cats like ourselves could really jive on, ya know?"

Kankri frowned. "I suppose. However I am going to call it an appointment, as I do not believe that it constitutes a date."

"Then what constitutes a date, Kan?"

He sat on the couch to continue discussing the topic. "I believe that by all technical definitions that a date has romantic intentions."

"Oh that's where you are quite wrong, Kan! I have looked into this on many occasions, and let me tell you that it does not necessarily involve any type of romantic intentions." He shrugged and put his arms on the back of the couch, one hand draped dangerously close to Kankri's shoulder.

"I suppose that we can call it a date, then." He blushed a little as he felt Cronus's thumb brush against his shoulder. "Though I will have you know that that means nothing in terms of attachment as I cannot become more attached to you than any other resident here."

Cronus leaned his head down and smiled. "Just don't go on any dates with the other residents. I might feel hurt."

Kankri looked away from but settled a little more into his seat. He felt like he might be feeling triggered, though at the same time, he didn't think he minded.


	8. A New Man No Longer Bespectacled

_**TW: **__Brief mentions of cutting hear the end of the chapter._

* * *

Cronus was elated that Kankri had sat next to him at that stupid floor meeting. So elated that he almost forgot to take one of the goody bags they were handing out at the end. Almost. He tucked his in his pocket and stood next to Kankri as the shorter boy helped to hand out the bags. "So you want to meet at noon tomorrow in the University Center?"

"That is correct."

Cronus pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocked it and slid it over to Kankri. "Here, put your number in my phone so I can get a hold of you if I'm gonna be late or I'm lost."

This elicited a sigh. "You intend on being late?"

"No, though I can't guarantee that I'll be able to find my way from my class."

"Fine. Just know that I am not incredibly comfortable with giving someone my phone number when I have only known them for a short time." He put his name and number in with precise, measured strokes and handed it back to Cronus.

"Then I feel honored and privileged that you've put your beautiful digits in my unworthy mitts." He smirked as he put his phone back in his pocket. "I'll text you when I get back to my room. You look pretty busy handin' out Johnson jackets." He winked and then turned to walk back to his room.

Once there he grabbed a Coke out of his fridge and stared at the wall as he drank it, trying to think of something he could do with himself that night. He'd overheard people talking about some parties happening off campus, but he really wasn't familiar enough with the area to want to go alone. He shrugged it off and took a seat under his lofted bed to snag a cigarette, but then remembered that Kankri had told him not to do that. With that he instead whipped out his phone to text the heavily sweatered boy.

_hey kan. this is cro. just thought you should knowv that im pretty excited for our little lunch date tomorrowv. ivwe been wvonderin though howv do i evwen get to the uc?_

He waited for a few minutes before getting up and stripping down for bed. It was early, but fuck staying up like a chump waiting for an answer from literally the only person that had given him the time of day since he'd started college. As he was pulling off his shirt, he heard his phone chime.

_Thank y9u f9r n9t being t99 delayed in y9ur pr9mise to contact me with y9ur number. The University Center is, sensi6ly, in the center of campus. I d9n't wish to 9ffend y9u 6y saying that it's senisi6le. Just because it may 6e sensi6le to me d9esn't mean that it is to y9u._

_really kan dont wvorry about offendin me. im 8ASICALLY the king of not bein offended by shit that aint offensive. im a cool cat ya dig?_

_I supp9se I do. N9w if y9u will excuse me, I have to read a69ut a few laws that may 6e passed s99n in the city s9 that I may be prepared f9r anything that may 9ffend pe9ple affected by them. I'm s9rry if my sudden a6and9nement triggers y9u in anyway. I can assure y9u that that was n9t my intenti9n._

_naw its all cool. you go do that thing. im just gonna chill here and do... something._

Kankri didn't text back after that. Cronus assumed that he'd probably just turned his off. He seemed like the kind of guy to do something like that when he was reading. He grabbed his laptop and checked out his blog. He'd started it to document his transition into life as a 1950s era greaser a few months prior, though the only followers that he had were a few random numbers and porn blogs. He decided to follow the porn blogs back because shit, why not? Today he wanted to talk about all of the assholes that had been plaguing his past couple of days. He hadn't updated since he'd moved in, so talking about his retar—er, mentally challenged suite mate and his lisping dick of a twin, or the girls that had laughed at him, or the woman that told him to move to the back of the line, or even fucking Nessa not getting that she was a huge bitch that didn't understand his philosophy about being as awesome as he was.

But on the other hand, he could talk about Kankri. About having found someone that didn't seem to think he was just some horrible dick. About his excitement for their date. But he realized that that didn't really fit with the point of his blog. In the end, he decided to shut his computer down and just go to bed, even if it was only about nine at night. He settled in and wished for sweet dreams.

_He was four, playing in the park with his nearly three year old brother toddling behind him. It was a normal day, or it felt like any other, though he knew there was something wrong. His parents were arguing again. To get away from that, he climbed a tree. His brother couldn't follow; he was too small. He climbed as high as he could into the tree and then he stood on a branch, feeling the wind in his hair and on his skin. But then the wind changed. It got just a little too strong. He could feel himself losing his footing and then..._

_The next thing he knew he was in the hospital, his parents at his bedside and his brother sleeping on the bed, curled up next to him. He was connected to machines. He felt strange. Something told him it was morphine, though he knew when this really happened that he thought it was magic. It was why he'd become so devoted to it. It had saved him. It had kept him from dying when he fell from that tree. He told his parents that and it just made his mother cry._

_He still didn't know if she was happy or sad._

_The scene changed. He was ten and reading Harry Potter again. It was the first time he'd read it since his mother sent the letter to tell them that she wasn't coming back. His brother was trying to read over his shoulder, but he pushed him off. He kept trying and trying so finally he agreed to read it for him aloud._

_After a few pages, his brother protested, "No you're not doin' it right! Do the voices, the voices!"_

_He frowned. "I can't do the vwoices, Dan."_

_"__But, Cro! Please?" His brother wibbled at him at him until he finally caved._

_"__Fine. I'll do the vwoices." He cursed his stupid speech impediment, but it wasn't as bad when he was reading aloud. "I'm not startin' the chapter ovwer, though, Dan."_

_"__Okay!" His brother settled in, wrapped up in a purple blanket, his glasses askew._

_He adjusted his own spectacles, cleared his throat and started to read._

_"__A braver man than Vwernon Dursely wvould have quailed under the furious look Hagrid nowv gave him; wvhen Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled wvith rage._

_"__'You nevwer told him? Nevwer told him wvhat wvas in the letter Dubledore left fer him? I wvas there! I sawv Dumbledore leavwe it, Dursley! An' you'vwe kept it from him all these years?'_

_"__'Kept _wvhat_ from me?' said Harry eagerly._

_"__'STOP! I FORBID YOU!' Yelled Uncle Vwernon in panic._

_"__Aunt Petunia gavwe a gasp of horror._

_"__'Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh,' said Hagrid, 'Harry—yer a wvizard.'"_

_The world spun. He was sixteen, sitting in his room, blood dripping down his thigh from where he'd cut himself. He looked at himself, feeling the twin scars on his forehead. He'd lost hope in everything in the past few years. His mother was gone; his magic was gone; his father's wife of two years was a complete bitch._

_He wrote a note to his parents again. This time apologizing for being so worthless, but as he wrote it he realized that he had to make it not true._

_It was in that moment, that he realized how to have a superiority complex._

Cronus woke up from his dream feeling somewhat unsettled. He felt like he'd had some sort of personal realization in it, though just what it was he would never know. He looked at his phone and saw that it was nearly seven. He got out of bed and readied himself for his first college class ever.

He dressed nicely for it. No reason not to make a good first impression on everyone, and, hell, looking good was what he _did_. Not to mention the fact that he had to be ready for his lunch date with Kankri.

He grabbed a grape Pop-tart package from his desk drawer and set it on his sink as he fixed his hair. By the time he'd finished doing that, it was almost eight. As such, he headed for the pharmacy to get his contacts. The trip there and back was uneventful, though he was glad to have a good six month supply of contacts again. When he got back to his room, he fixed his hair again and then put his contacts in. It felt great to finally be rid of his horn-rimmed glasses.

He ate his Pop-tarts quickly and then grabbed his things for class, as well as his phone and his cigarettes. Once he was out of the building, he lit up and smoked on the way to class, paying no mind to the glares that people were giving him for smoking at all.

He didn't care, though. He just had to go through ninety minutes of class and then a date with a cutie.


	9. A New Man with a Flashy Car

Cronus sat slouched in the back of the lecture hall so that his professor wouldn't really be able to see him. He kept staring at his phone, debating about whether he should text Kankri. He decided to send just a quick message.

_hey kan you excited for our date?_

He waited for a response, knowing that he probably wouldn't get one. Instead he started to sketch while he listened to the professor prattle on about Geography. Who even cares about Geography? He could just hire someone to take him places when he was famous. Fuck, he could do that _now_, though his father wouldn't appreciate that were he to do it now.

He leaned forward in his seat, absorbed in his sketching. He'd decided to sketch some of the attractive people in the lecture hall. Before he could finish the third sketch, the subject stood, as did most of the other students in the hall. He looked around and realized that class had ended and it was about ten thirty. He left the building and went off to his second class of the day, wherein he did much the same as he did in his first.

After the lesson, he wandered toward the center of campus, smoking on the way and sending Kankri another text.

h_ey im on my wvay nowv. i dont knowv howv long its gonna take me to get there. i aint too familiar wvith the campus yet so dont hold it against me doll._

_I thank y9u for inf9rming me that y9u are unsure 9f h9w l9ng it's g9ing t9 take y9u to arrive here, th9ugh I w9uld greatly appreciate it if y9u did not call me "d9ll". It may be triggering t9 th9se wh9 identify as d9lls 9r have had traumatic experiences regrading them. H9wever, d9 y9u kn9w where exactly y9u are?_

_uh i think i just left the english hall?_

_Then just continue straight on fr9m there t9wards 9ur hall. The University Center is the large 6lue 6uilding with the man-made waterfall in fr9nt of it. When y9u get here, I'll be sitting in a 699th near the fr9zen y9gurt sh9p. Unless y9u feel that that place may be s9meh9w 9ffensive t9 y9u?_

_hey I told ya already that I aint really offended by nothin so its all cool. i mean im dowvn wvith that jive. ill be there in a couple minutes. uh I think_

He put his phone back in his pocket and looked for the building that Kankri was talking about. When he spotted it, he felt absolutely ridiculous as he had been in it for his orientation and to schedule his classes. He entered through the front double doors and found himself in the atrium. The floors were tiled like a black and white checkerboard, and some of the students were actually playing a game of live action chess on the floor. He figured that they must have been theater students of some sort. The girls playing against each other were a strange contract, though. One was pale with platinum hair, while the other was just as dark as the other was fair. He assumed that they picked those two for that reason, as he noticed that the blonde was the white team and the other girl was the black. The players wore clothes for their respective colors and body paint to match. The spectacle had drawn a rather large crowd, though the game looked to be no where near completion.

Cronus stopped staring at the game and started to look for Kankri. He saw him at the far edge of the building, wearing what looked like the same sweater he had been the day before and reading a thick book. As he neared the table, he noticed that the sweater was slightly different from the one he had been wearing the previous day. This one seemed to have complex cabling all over the front and small amounts of black throughout. He put his bag on the table when he got there and slid in across from Kankri.

"Hey you little sweatered cutie. Miss me? He he raised his eyebrows and smiled widely.

Kankri looked up from his book, looking through half lidded eyes with a slight frown on his face. "You're nearly half an hour late, Cronus."

He grimaced. "Yeah, sorry. It was a long walk, you know?"

"I supposed." He wrinkled his nose. "I do not mean to offend, but you smell like smoke and that is quite unpalatable."

Cronus cackled. "Yeah that's what _happens _when you smoke. You look cool but you smell like a bar."

"I cannot say that I know what a bar smells like."

"What you ain't never been to a bar? Shit, I used to go to bars with my friends all the time. We had some pretty sweet fakes made up just so we could get in and get drinks too."

"Fakes?"

"Fake IDs. You ain't heard a fakes?"

"I do not spend much time in environments with the potential for so many offensive and triggering things."

Cronus shrugged. "Hey you're missin' out. Some a my best nights on the town were in bars. Let me tell you, gettin' shit faced might not always have the best endin' but it is fuckin' _fun_, Kan."

"Neither of us are old enough to drink."

Cronus laughed. "Yeah, I know. That's the point of the fakes." He leaned on his elbows on the table. "Now where do you wanna get some chow?"

Kankri set his book aside and looked down, biting his lip. He glanced up at Cronus. "Perhaps we could get some Indian food? I know of a good restaurant on campus."

"Oh, do you work there?"

He glared. "Why would you assume that I work there?"

"Uh, well, you're Indian? Aren't you?"

"My family is from Pakistan. I am highly offended that you assumed that I was Indian based on the color of my skin and my accent. That's racist. I believe I am feeling triggered by your impudence."

"Whoa, hey, it's a common misconception, yeah? Shit I don't even fuckin' know where Pakistan _is_, how am I supposed to know?"

"A fair point, though your racism is still triggering." He frowned again.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Look look, I'll make it up to you by paying for your food. You got anymore classes today? I can take you out somewhere nice."

"I do not wish to be a subject of your affluence privilege."

"No, look, I'm tryin' to apologize. Food is always a great apology, isn't it? That's what people _do_ when they piss someone off, right?" He tilted his head to the side, waiting for some sort of response.

"I suppose. Though I do not feel comfortable owing you so much money."

"Look you don't owe me anything. I made you upset so it's least I can fuckin' do, dig?"

"Will you be offended if I say no?"

Cronus thought briefly and then answered. "Yes. I would be incredibly offended if you said no to my offer."

"Then I'm afraid that I have no choice but to go with you. I do not wish to offend anyone."

"All right sweet. You wanna walk back with me to the hall and put your things away? Then we can get in my car and go somewhere."

"I thought you drove a motorcycle?"

"I do, but I got a car too. A guy's gotta get around, you know?"

"Not entirely. As I've stated previously, I do not own, nor have the ability to drive, a car. As such it is hard for me to understand what exactly it would be like." They gathered their things off the table as he spoke.

"Well, it's pretty cool. Like you know what it was like as a kid bein' allowed to ride your bike around town on your own?"

"Vaguely."

"It's kinda like that. You got the freedom of being able to go wherever you want whenever you want without really havin' to be under watch 24/7. It's refreshin' and liberatin' and I don't get why you wouldn't want to get your license."

"It's not so much that I didn't want to," he began as they made their way around the live chess game, "so much as no one would take me when I had first gotten my permit."

"You still have your permit?"

"Yes."

Cronus shrugged. "I don't normally offer, but fuck you're cute so why not? You wanna take my baby for a spin?"

"I don't know if that would be wise."

"Hey why not? I mean it ain't a manual so you don't gotta worry about nothin' like that."

"I have only driven the hours that I was required to in Driver's Education."

Cronus shrugged. "Just don't wreck my car and we'll be okay." He took his cigarettes out of his pocket and waved them at Kankri. "You mind if I snag a smog?"

Kankri frowned. "Must you?"

"I don't gotta smoke, but I just got this bad cravin' now." He always got cravings around attractive people.

"Will you be incapacitated if you don't smoke?" Kankri tilted his head to the side.

"I ain't gonna be _incapacitated_ so much as I'll turn into a complete and utter, paranoid dick. Will you be offended if I'm smokin' next to you?"

"So long as you stay downwind and I don't _have_ to smell the odor."

"I'll do my best." He lit his cigarette and took a long drag, relishing the taste of the smoke as he held it in, then exhaling slowly. He always felt like a dragon when he exhaled smoke.

They continued the last stretch of the walk in silence, Cronus being sure to blow the smoke away from Kankri. Once they'd made it to the building, he ground it into the sand in the ashtray and ran back to the building to follow Kankri inside. He looked to the shorter boy. "You wanna just leave your things in my room before we go?"

Kankri thought deeply and then shook his head. "Leave your things in mine. It's closer to the door and I'm in a single person suite."

"We _have_ those?"

"Not generally, but my room is located directly next to the offices, so there's an office where my suite mate should have been."

Cronus noted that information in the back of his head for later as Kankri opened the door to his room. "So you're cool with me leavin' my things here then, yeah?"

"Only if you promise not to mess it up."

"I can do that." He smiled as he put his bag on the floor by the door. "Now if you want you can drive us somewhere in town, or I can take us on a magical mystery expedition to a location as yet unknown to either of us that my phone will choose for us based on my strict guidelines a bein' awesome."

"I would much prefer not to drive."

"Then let's find somewhere awesome to eat." He pulled out his phone and began to search for decent restaurants in the area. "What do you want? Indian? Chinese? All-American?"

"I would prefer to go to an establishment that is inoffensive as possible."

"Okay then no Carlos O'Kelly's." He kept scrolling. "You eat meat?" Cronus realized it was a bit of a loaded question, even without any innuendo attached to it.

"I will, but only because my doctor has requested that I do." They left the room and Kankri locked it behind them.

"Oh all right. I got just the place then." He grabbed Kankri's hand and lead him towards his car. He noticed that Kankri was making unintelligible noises as they walked so he looked at him. "What's wrong?"

"You're... You're touching me. You're holding my hand. Please let go."

He pulled his hand back. "What you offended by a little hand touching?"

"I just don't feel that it's appropriate as I have expressly stated that I cannot become anymore attached to you than to the other residents."

"Okay, okay, I get that. We're at my car anyway." He gestured to the sports car sitting in the stall next to him. "I call her Spiderbitch."

"And... why exactly is that?"

"Because my step-mom gave her to me to cover up the fact that she blew a fuck ton a money on a fuckin' "special exotic" tarantula for her little shitty daughter."

Kankri frowned. "That's... Interesting, though I feel that you may want to not be so offensive in your language."

Cronus shrugged. "I don't care. She gave me a fuckin' Aston-Martin; I can deal." He opened the doors and they both climbed in. "Now let's go get some chow. I'm starvin'!"

"Do you have anymore classes today?"

"Nope, not today. You?"

"No, I do not have any classes after noon. Most of mine are online as it is." He buckled into the car and Cronus did the same.

"Then we don't gotta worry about a thing." He started the engine and pulled out, following the directions his phone was giving him towards a destination that he didn't want to reveal until the very end.

He glanced over at Kankri. He was glad that he'd agreed to lunch with him like this, even if he had pressured him a little. It was a nice change from being on his own because of people being complete assholes to him.


	10. Someone Different has a Revelation

Kankri sat in the passenger seat as they drove, talking about the various types of triggers that certain people feel in society. When they'd reached the restaurant he peered out the window and then looked back at Cronus, who was fixing his hair in the rear view mirror. "Cronus? Are you sure that you want to eat here for lunch?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Why, you never have French food for lunch?"

"I believe you are lumping me into the category of affluence once again, Cronus. I am going to have to ask you to check your privilege as not all of us have been as blessed as you in the monetary field."

"Sorry, man. This is a pretty laid back little place, though. I took a road trip through here once and stopped here, but I didn't know how to get here from campus. Turns out it was a lot fuckin' closer than I thought it was! Who knew!"

"I don't believe I feel comfortable with this."

"Kan, you don't feel comfortable with _nothin_' so how is this any different?"

"I'm not dressed for this. My sweater is going to offend someone. The color could trigger someone. It's offensive to people who identify as bulls. This is a French restaurant."

Cronus shrugged. "We can get like a private room or somethin' I bet. It ain't no problem when you've got a credit limit like mine."

"I do not feel comfortable with this at all. Please take me somewhere else."

Cronus frowned. "Well I guess since this is an apology to you I can take you somewhere else. You okay with Friday's?"

"Yes, please. Just not here." Kankri got back into the car and wrapped himself in his arms. He couldn't really tell Cronus _why_ the restaurant made him so uncomfortable, but he felt that he would much prefer to go to another one.

Cronus looked back at him as they drove on. Kankri couldn't understand why Cronus kept looking at him so much. "You okay? Did like somethin' bad happen to you there?"

"No. No, it's nothing like that. I just simply felt out of place in such a high end restaurant. Especially dressed as I am."

"Hey you look fine. That sweater makes you look absolutely fuckin' adorable if you don't mind me sayin' that."

He looked down. He could feel his cheeks flushing. "I would appreciate it if you did not call me adorable. The blind would not be able to associate with your description and may thus be triggered."

Cronus laughed at him. "We're the only two here, Kan. It okay if I call you a little cutie when we're alone?"

He felt the blush on his cheeks spread. "I'm not sure." He brought his knees up to his chest and held them there.

"Kan you okay?"

"I'm not accustomed to such compliments."

"Really? I mean you're really fuckin' cute, Kan. I don't see how that's possible. Your mom must've told you just how fuckin' cute you were at some point, yeah?"

"I don't have a mother and I feel that you should check your mother privilege."

"You don't have a mom?"

"No, I went from foster home to foster home as a child. The closest person I've had to a mother has been my most recent foster sister, Porrim."

"Hey man, I'm sorry, I didn't know, yeah?" He drove on in silence, the only sound the purr of the engine.

Kankri stayed curled up in his seat and, after a few minutes of silence, he spoke very quietly. "Would you mind if we went back to the dormitory? I'm not sure that I feel able to go to lunch today."

Cronus pulled into a parking lot and stopped the car, looking at Kankri. "Are you okay?"

"I think so. I merely do not feel that this was a good idea."

"Why not?"

Kankri looked away from Cronus, his face still flushed. "I just need to go back."

"Can we do this some other time at least?"

"Perhaps."

"And could you maybe tell me then what's wrong now? I ain't so good at readin' minds these days, Kan. I'm just a guy. I ain't a wizard." He went to put his hand on Kankri's shoulder, though he took it back and started the car again. "You know you didn't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Agree to any a this." He drove down the road. "You probably knew that you didn't want to go anyway, right? You were just humorin' me so I'd leave you alone, yeah? You really didn't have to do that."

"I wasn't, Cronus. I just truly do not feel able to do this anymore."

Cronus frowned. "What, are you feelin' triggered by my askin' about your mom?"

Kankri looked back at him. "Yes, actually I am."

He looked taken aback. "I, uh, wow. Yeah man I'm sorry." He sighed. "Look, I didn't fuckin' know you didn't have a mom, okay? Like I seriously didn't fuckin' mean to offend you, yeah?" He knocked his head against the steering wheel when they had stopped at a set of traffic lights. "You sure know how to make a guy feel like the douchiest of hammers."

Kanknri frowned. He just wanted to be out of the car. Something was still wrong. "Are we nearly back to campus?"

"Yeah, yeah we'll be there in just a sec. Just know that I"m really sorry, okay? And maybe if you're up for it later we can get some dinner?"

He shrugged one shoulder and looked out the window. They had pulled into the lot next to their hall. "I'm not entirely sure yet. I may need to get some rest and then see how I feel."

"Okay cool." Cronus turned off the ignition and put his hand on Kankri's shoulder again. "Text me either way, okay? I wanna make sure that you're not fuckin' sick for real here, okay?"

"Of course." With that they got out of the car and continued to the building in silence. Cronus hovered close to him, but remarkably kept his distance. Once in the building Cronus turned to go to his room. "Don't you need your things?"

"Nyeh, I can get that shit later. You just go get better." He left before Kankri could say anything else.

Kankri went into his room and locked the door behind him. He pulled his sweater off and carefully laid it on his neat desk. He untied his shoes, leaving them near Cronus's things by the door and then began to undress for bed. Once ready, he laid down and curled into a ball. It took him only a few moments to fall into a deep sleep.

_He and Cronus were sitting in his room at his last foster home. This one he had to himself and was tidy just the way he liked it. Cronus was wearing his horn-rimmed glasses. He thought they made him look smarter and a bit more dignified, though he would admit that he didn't hate how he looked when he wasn't wearing them. They were sitting on his bed, watching the first birds of Spring outside of the cracked window. Cronus's arm was draped over his shoulders when he turned and said, "Kan."_

_ "Yes?"_

_ "Can I kiss you?"_

_ He just nodded. It was like he'd gone through these motions a thousand times before. Their lips met and Cronus put his free arm on Kankri's other side, holding himself above him as their tongues danced._

_ The taller boy tasted like the sea. It was surprising with as many cigarettes as he smoked. But Kankri put all of this to the back of his head as he wrapped his arms around the brunet's back, pulling him closer. As he did, his partner pulled their mouths apart and began to move down his neck, sucking lightly and leaving a gentle kiss when he'd finished in a single spot. Kankri made a soft, low noise in his throat and Cronus pressed a kiss to his Adam's apple as he moved back up to his lips._

_ They met again and Kankri could feel Cronus fighting to take as much control as he could. He could feel the tension in his shoulders and the press of his leg between his own thighs. All he wanted was to be closer, closer, closer..._

_ Cronus reached one hand up under his sweater, as if he could read his mind. His hands exploried as they continued to kiss hungrily._

_ Kankri reached his own hands under Cronus's shirt, feeling the lean muscle beneath and raking his nails down his torso as his bespectacled partner began to suck on his tongue..._

Kankri woke from his dream in a state of disarray. He sat up and looked at his hands, unsure as to what had just happened in his dream. He knew what it was of course. Where that was going. He turned so his feet could rest on the ground and leaned his elbows on his knees. Looking up at himself in the mirror, he couldn't find the words for how he felt. But he knew that it was something that he was very unaccustomed to.

He put his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. Normally feeling like this he would talk to himself to sort things out, but now all he could utter was a shaky and rather unsure, "Shit."


	11. A New Man Opens Doors

Cronus sat in his room waiting for Kankri to text him and tell him that he was okay. He sat with his laptop, working on charting out his song to see how the rifts would sound, but still not able to find the right progression.

Nothing he was doing was sounding right, and after hours of trying to get it he'd given up, feeling that the program was somehow mess up. Looking at the time, he noticed that it was roughly five in the evening and there was still no word from Kankri. He picked up his phone and typed out a quick text to him.

_hey kan you okay?_

He waited a few minutes and then resent the text. He felt that he couldn't leave him alone. Besides, he was a persistent fucker who wouldn't take no for an answer. He slipped on his boots and made his way to Kankri's room. Once there he waited for a few moments, debating about knocking and settling on doing it. He waited. After a few minutes, he knocked a second time. There was still no response. He tried to open it himself. It was locked.

He sent the same text again as he leaned against the door. Still no word. Beginning to think that he was being ignored, he went over to the office connected to Kankri's common room and went inside. No one was at the desk and a note was left saying that they'd return by six that night. He tried the door to the common room there. It was locked, but he noticed a cabinet full of keys behind the desk. He looked through them and found the ones with the right numbers on them. There was an extra set, probably originally meant for Kankri's roommate, but unused as he was a Freshman adviser. He grabbed them quickly and went back to his door, trying each key until he found the right one. He opened the door and saw Kankri sitting on his bed, back against the wall, his knees to his chest and his arms around his head.

He looked very small and very afraid. He didn't even look up when Cronus shut the door behind him and walk across the room. Cronus knelt in front of the bed. "Kan?"

The shorter boy didn't look up. He looked almost catatonic. "Kan, what's wrong?" He put his hand on his shoulder, but was slapped away.

"Don't touch me!" Kankri's eyes were opened widely and his dark bags looked darker than usual.

"Whoa, Kan, what the fuck is wrong?"

He looked away. "There's nothing wrong. Please get out of my room. I don't know how you managed to get in here in the first place, but I am finding your presence highly triggering."

Cronus frowned angrily. "How the fuck is me bein' here triggerin' to you at _all_? I literally saw you like four fuckin' hours ago and apart from me bein' an accidental tool everything was five by five. And now you ain't lookin' so hot and you think it's because I'm triggerin' you?"

Kankri started to shake a little. "Please leave."

"No! Not until you tell me what the _fuck_ I did!"

"The only thing that you've done now is being here when I did not want you to be! I want to be left alone and it was not an issue until you broke into my room."

"I ain't goin' anywhere!" He grabbed Kankri's arm. "Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, Kan!"

Kankri's face became defiant and flushed as he tried to pull away. "There's nothing _wrong_, Cronus! I simply do not want you here! Is that too much for you to understand? Do you need me to get this in writing?"

"I just want to know why you're actin' like this, Kan!"

"I'm not _acting _like anything! I simply do not wish for you to be in my room. I wish to be left alone and I do not appreciate you being here after having asked multiple times for you to leave. Now if you do not leave I am going to write you up for having broken into my room as I _do_ remember locking my door when I came inside." He managed to pull his arm back. "Now kindly leave me alone. I'll contact you when I'm no longer feeling so triggered by your actions."

Cronus away from the bed, still angry. "Fine! Fuck you! I'm just tryin' to be a nice fuckin' guy here and what do you do? You tell me to leave you the fuck alone! So fuck it. Whatever. I'll leave you alone." He stormed out and went back to his room in a huff.

He kicked his boots off into a corner and grabbed his cigarettes, lighting one as he sat at his desk and typed out an angry blog post. If there was one thing he couldn't stand it was being told to go away.

Who did Kankri even think he was? For fuck's sake was _Cronus fucking Ampora_ and he did not put up with that two faced bullshit.

He stared at his screen, the cigarette still dangling from his mouth, turning to ash. He started thinking about Kankri. The way he had been so scared in his room. He knew that he didn't do anything to cause that, but at the same time he felt like he could have done more than what he'd done. Even with having been told to leave, he felt like he should go back and say something. He put the cigarette out in his ash tray and then put his boots on, carefully lacing them. And then he thought about what Kankri had said.

Instead of going down, he grabbed his phone and sent him another text.

_kan I knowv youre mad at me and I still dont get wvhy. could you tell me wvhat's wvrong and make me feel a little less like shit here?_

He waited a few minutes on his bed for a response and was surprised when he actually got one.

_Cr9nus, I understand that y9u may be w9ndering what happened. If I c9uld tell y9u what it was that was wr9ng, I assure y9u, Cr9nus, I w9uld. Unf9rtunately, I fear that it may 6e 69th triggering and 9ffensive, despite y9ur lax nature._

_kan wvhat the fuck are you evwen talkin about?_

_I d9 n9t wish t9 talk a69ut it and I w9uld appreciate it if y9u did not pry._

_kan please i just gotta knowv wvhat I fuckin did._

_That is prying, Cr9nus._

_please kan please. im 6eggin here._

_Y9u haven't d9ne anything, Cr9nus. All I will tell y9u is that it is n9thing that any pers9n in the waking w9rld has d9ne to me and that y9u sh9uld w9rry less a69ut me._

_kan i aint gonna wvorry any less. theres no wvay i aint gonna wvorry wvhen youre this fuckin broken up about wvhatevwer useless shit i did. and wvhat do you evwen mean by "n9 one in the wvakin wvorld" kan?_

_It was just a dream, Cr9nus. F9rget I said anything._

_hey dreams can mean shit kan. mine havwe been fucked up 8EYOND 8ELIEF lately._

_I'm n9t entirely sure if I want this dream to mean anything. Th9ugh it w9uld 6e nice, I supp9se._

_so what happened in it then?_

_I am 9ffended that y9u w9uld even ask after I have expressly stated that I d9 n9t want to tell you a69ut it._

_come on kan. dont be a fuddyduddy. the fuck is wvrong? you get a dream boner ovwer some super hottie?_

Kankri didn't respond after that. From what Cronus could gather, he'd hit the overly inoffensive nail right on the head.

And, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself, he was more than a little jealous of the subject of that dream.


	12. Someone Different Goes Through Hell

Kankri sat in his room with his phone in his hands. He didn't want to move. He didn't want to do anything. But he needed to. He need to talk to someone. He typed out a quick text to Porrim and hoped that she wasn't up to anything unsavory so that she could respond quickly.

_P9rrim, please respond. I need t9 speak with y9u and I find that y9u may be the 9ne pers9n that will n9t 6e 9ffended 6y what I have t9 say._

After a few moments, his phone buzzed and he opened it, hoping that it was Porrim and not Cronus inquiring further about his dream.

_What is it, Kanny? Everything o+kay?_

_N9. Everything is m9st definitely n9t 9kay. In fact 9ne c9uld say, if y9u'll pard9n me, things are quite "fucked" and I d9 n9t kn9w what to d9._

_I see yo+u're using the gro+wn up swears no+w. That's new. What's wro+ng?_

_I'm n9t sure h9w t9 explain it._

_I'm co+ming o+ver no+w._

_N9! Y9u d9n't have t9 d9 that!_

_I kno+w, but I am. I'm o+n my way no+w. _

_P9rrim, please, y9u d9n't have to g9 9ut 9f y9ur way f9r me._

_I'm already in fro+nt o+f the do+o+r. Let me in._

_I'll 6e there s99n._

He set his phone on his desk and went to the door to let her in. She looked as if she were about to go out. He couldn't say that he wasn't glad for her coming over, but he didn't want her to have to go out of her way for him. He lead her to his room and then his common room. They sat on the couch in silence until finally Porrim spoke.

"What's wrong, Kanny?"

He swallowed hard, looking at the floor. "You remember when I told you about the resident that was smoking in his room two days ago?"

"Yes. I've told the story to some of my other friends. They agree that he is an idiot."

He glanced at her. "I have been talking to him a lot since then."

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows. "And?"

He began to fidget. "I'm still not entirely sure as to how I should phrase this, Porrim. You are aware that I lead a celibate existence?"

"How could I forget." She frowned.

He pulled at the hem of his sweater. "Ah yes, of course you're aware. My deepest apologies I didn't mean to offend you."

"This isn't about me, Kanny and you know it."

He leaned into her shoulder, breaking his rule of never touching someone unless they asked first. "I know."

She put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him into her chest. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"Then tell me what's wrong. What does your celibacy have to do with any of this?" He took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Kankri, you're starting to scare me a little. Did he _do_ something to you because I swear to the Goddess that if did something to you I will go to his room right now, pull his tonsils out, and feed them to him."

"No, he... He didn't do anything. Well nothing like what you're thinking."

"Then what is it?"

He sighed. "I... Had a dream."

She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. "A dream?"

"I was back home in my room. And he and I were in my room..." He swallowed hard then sighed again, trying to get the words out. "He asked if he could kiss me."

"And?"

"And I said yes. And it went _further_ than that..."

"Kankri you're an adult. People have dreams like that."

He pulled away and looked at her. "But, Porrim, I _can't_ have dreams like that! You know that I shouldn't! You know that I can't have a relationship like that!"

She frowned. "That's all in the past, Kankri. they can't hurt you anymore."

"But they will. They do. Everyday."

She put her hands on his shoulders. "That doesn't mean that you can't do what you'd like. They don't control you. Your parents aren't going to come for you in the night. My mother, our brother, even our cousins, we would all stop them if they tried to hurt you again."

"I don't want to talk about this, Porrim."

"I'm here for you, though. Tell me: what's wrong?"

He tilted his head back. "Porrim, I _enjoyed_ what the two of us did in the dream. I'm not supposed to enjoy that if I'm celibate." She smiled, chuckling. "This isn't funny!"

"Oh but it is, Kanny. I know that your celibacy is a choice; however, I've always felt that it was quite the ridiculous choice. Especially for a boy your age."

He frowned. "Of course _you'd_ say that."

"I have another sweater in my bag, do you want me to get it out?"

"No, no more sweaters..." He slumped over onto her lap. "I just don't know who I am anymore."

"What?"

"That was such a key part of my identity! And he's been so triggering and offensive that I can't stop him all the time, but I don't think that I even mind!" He threw his hands in his face. "I feel strange when I think about him Porrim! And he... He's so... I don't know how to describe it! All I can say is that, despite his obnoxious attitude and self-obsessed attitude there's something... _there_! He listens to me! He pays attention to the things I say!" He sat up again and looked at her. "He's remembered things that I've said are triggering! Though he still manages to be able to offend anyone in the room..."

"And I assume that you can't stop thinking about him now?"

"Yes!"

"And when you're in the same room with him you just want to reach out and hold his hand?"

"Yes!"

She smiled and laughed kindheartedly. "That's called having a crush, Kankri."

"I've had crushes before, this isn't like that! I want... I don't know what I want!"

"It's simple. You just like him. Am I right?"

He frowned, his face flushing. "I don't know." He looked back up at her. "I mean I think that I do, but then on some level I _hate _him. He's everything I _should _hate! He's tall, rude, offensive, unabashedly triggering, and far too forward for his own good! He drives motorcycles and sports cars! He throws money around like it doesn't mean anything! He speaks improperly and he touches people without asking! He always find a way to make everything an innuendo! He is quite possibly the most infuriating unapologetic individual that I have ever met in my entire _life_, not to mention the most able to make me incoherent and unsure! And all I want, Porrim! All I _fucking want_ is to kiss his stupid smokey face!"

She sat there silently, then put her hand on his shoulder. "I think you have your answer."

"But. I. Can't!"

"And why is that? What's stopping you from asking him if he wants to kiss you too?"

He put his hands together in front of him, almost like he was praying. "I have taken a _vow_, Porrim. I can't let down my followers."

He glared at him. "This whole thing is because you don't want to upset your followers on a blog that, in the end, won't even matter?"

"But they look up to me as a leader! I'm showing them the way to be as inoffensive as possible and to hurt no one!"

"And someone is still getting hurt here!"  
He looked surprised at that. "Who is being hurt?"

"You are, Kankri! Worrying about what everyone else thinks about obscure triggers and tiny offenses is making you _sick_. When was the last time you went to a movie?"

"I can't say."

"Or went to dinner?"

"I just went to lunch today!"

"Oh, really?" She looked genuinely impressed. "And how did that go?"

He looked away. "I ask that we come back as I could have offended someone in the restaurant with the bright color of my sweater."

"Who exactly were you afraid you'd offend?"

He paused. "Well there are any number of people who could be triggered by the color..."

"Who _exactly _were you afraid you'd offend?"

"I'm not sure."

"What happened after that?"

Kankri sighed deeply and told her as much as he could about that afternoon. He told her about the meeting in the University Center, the trip to the dormitory and then the decision to go to the restaurant. He mentioned in great detail the triggering statements that Cronus had made, and how they had made him feel. Then he talked about the dream he'd had. It was still vivid even with everything else that had happened in the few hours since. And even though he didn't want to, he talked about how Cronus had come to his room as well as the conversation they'd had via text.

"After he'd sent his last text, I sat in my room and thought about what everything meant. He's proven himself to be _despicable_, but I still find myself drawn to him... And that's why I texted you. I needed to bring you here so I could sort this whole thing out."

She frowned, crossing her legs. "He sounds deplorable. Though it also seems like it may be something that he will grow out of if he were given proper guidance." She raised her eyebrows. "Do you feel that you may be able to deal with his sleazy nature?"

He hung his head. "I'm still not sure, Porrim. This all just feels like too much too soon."

"Have you told him any of this?"

He shook his head. "I am afraid that I would offend him if I told him of any of this. Though I am not entirely sure what any of this is."

"I've told you already, Kankri, it's a crush. That's what it is. If I were you, I would act on it, but I know that you are far too reserved for that."

"I am."

She raised her eyebrows and her rings clicked together. "Would you like me to tell him for you?"

His face and ears became incredibly hot. "I may... I may take you up on that offer if I am being completely honest."

"Would you like me to talk to him about his intentions?"

"Would you?"

"Only for you, Kanny."

He smiled a little. "You are truly my best friend, Porrim."

She shrugged. "Where's his room? I can go now."

"_Now_? He'll know that I sent you!"

"Not necessarily. And you just agreed to have me ask him"

"But he'll know!"

"Just tell me, Kankri. I'll just ask him one question and leave."

He scrunched his eyebrows together in thought, his face still flushed. "All right. He lives in 107A, near the back doors."

"I'll be back in half an hour. Stay here. When I get back we'll order some food and talk it over. Is that plan all right with you?"

He took a deep breath, thinking through the plan. "Yes. Thank you, Porrim."

With that she left the room, and Kankri was left to his own muddled thoughts.


	13. A New Man Gets a Surprise

Cronus sat in his room, still fuming over the interaction with Kankri when he heard a loud knock on his door. He thought about who could possibly be there and decided that he didn't care. They could go fuck themselves. He sat back at his desk, notebook and pen at the ready. He was going to get the whole experience down on paper. Before he could put the pen down, he heard another loud knock,this time followed by a woman's voice. "Cronus. I know you're in there."

He put the pen down and threw his head back as he pushed back from his desk. Dragging his feet, he went to the door and swung it open, a deep set glare on his face. His expression changed when he saw the woman at the door. Long, wavy black hair framed a heavily pierced face. She was dressed to the nines in black and green, tattoos showing beneath everything she was wearing. He raised his eyebrows and smirked, leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets. "Why hello there, doll face. To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

She frowned. "Firstly, I am going to have to ask you to never call me doll face again. As in ever. If you do again, I will be forced to kick your ass. Secondly, I am Porrim Maryam and I want to know something."

He shrugged. "Anything for you, babe."

She scrunched her nose. "This was a stupid idea. I'm just going to leave and say that you're not interested so that this whole thing just comes to an end now."

"Whoa, wait what?" His face dropped into a scowl. "What did I fuckin' do?"

"Ah yes, this does sound like how you were described to me."

"Look here, Por..."

"No. You are the one who gets to look here and just answer this one question with no sexist nicknames."

"Okay fine. What is it?" He crossed his arms over his chest, defensively.

"Just tell me. What are your intentions with Kankri Vantas?"

"What?"

"You heard me. What are your intentions with Kankri Vantas?"

"Wait that's Kan's last name?"

"Yes. Now answer the question."

Cronus pursed his lips, thinking. "I'm not sure I understand what exactly you mean."

"Are you just playing with him? From what I've heard you've been flirting with him quite liberally."

"Well yeah. Who the fuck wouldn't? He is one cute little fucker."

"Kankri isn't exactly used to being flirted with."

He raised his eyebrows. "No shit?"

"No shit. Now tell me: Are. You. Playing. With. Him?"

Cronus looked at the floor. "Why would it make a difference?"

"Because if you are I'm going to tell you now to leave him alone. The last thing he needs is someone that's just going to screw with his head and leave him that way."

"What?"

"If you haven't noticed, despite his bravado, he's a bit naive."

"You don't say?"

"I do. Now stop avoiding the question. Here, I'll put it in the simplest terms possible: Do you want to kiss his ridiculous little face?"

Cronus stood slack jawed. "Well, uh, I guess I wouldn't say _no_, but it's all a matter of him waitin' to engage in the face kissin' too I suppose. I ain't exactly one to make out with an unwillin' partner."

"So then would you say that your intentions are to possibly date him in a committed relationship that would last, say, at least four months?"

"What."

"This isn't something I normally do. I tend more to date as freely as I see fit. Be it in a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship. However, Kankri needs devotion. So if you're one to just play the field and do as I do, then it would be best to just forget about Kankri."

He frowned, furrowing his brow. "Look here, Por, I like Kan. He's a cute guy and he ain't exactly treatin' me like shit." He kicked a little at the ground. "I guess I'd be willin' to give that whole thing a try." He ran his tongue over his top teeth. "I mean I ain't gonna lie, I've kinda been hopin' I could play a round a back seat bingo with him, but I really didn't think he'd be down with that. You think that he'd be okay with that?"

Porrim frowned again. "I don't believe that he'd be ready for anything like that."

"What just kissin' in the fuckin' car? It ain't like I'm sayin' "Hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm gonna fuck you in a Mercedes" to him or nothin'. I ain't completely classless."

"I suppose. You're rather crass." She leaned in. "And now that I know your intentions, I just want you to know that if you hurt him, I will find you. I will find you and I will bring friends. And my friends and I will rip you limb from limb. You will be Bacchus, running from the furies. Only you won't be coming back from this."

"Hey what the fuck you think I'm gonna do to him?"

"I don't know, but you've already broken into his room. Let me tell you this now: Just because _he_ may like you, it doesn't mean that _I_ will."

Cronus shrugged. "Fair enough."

"Now I'm going to go back to Kankri's room and the two of us are going to eat and probably engage in an argument over how sexism is a more pertinent issue than he believes it is." She started to walk away and then turned back. "If you come to his room tonight or tomorrow, he might just answer his door." And with that she was gone.

Cronus stood in the doorway, rather confused by what had just happened.


	14. Someone Different Makes a Decision

Kankri waited for Porrim to return. He didn't know what to expect from Cronus. He felt that he might feel as he did, but at the same time, it may have just been his character. He didn't want him to say no, but he had this sinking feeling that was he had asked Porrim to do was so low and so offensive to his sensibilities that not even Cronus would stay unoffended by it. He should have gone himself. But the last time he'd asked anyone anything like this he... No he'd never done anything like this. The only dates he'd been on in high school were with people that had asked him to go on them. He'd only ever been kissed a handful of times and he couldn't say that he particularly enjoyed it.

But this was different.

He could hardly stand waiting. He wanted to know _now_. And that made him feel like a spoiled child. He picked at the hem of his sweater and as he did he heard his door open then close softly. Then Porrim came back into the room, frowning.

"What did he say?" Kankri sat up on the couch, anxious to know the answer.

She sighed. "I don't like him."

"I don't care if you do not care for him; I wish to know what he said."

"He said that he feels the same way."

Kankri's heart rose. Suddenly a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. "He did? You're not making a joke at my expense are you, Porrim?"

"I've never done that. At least not to your face. And no, I'm not." She sat on the couch next to him and put her arm around him. "Let's get some food and discuss this further. Are you all right with burgers and fries? Because this time of day I should be able to go to the dining hall and get them without much of a fuss."

"That will suffice, I suppose."

"I'll be back in a bit, Kanny." She left again, this time with the promise of food.

Kankri stood up and wrapped his arms tightly around his chest. He was in such a state of disbelief that nothing was being processed in his head properly. He spun around, making little noises. He was so shocked that this had played out the way that it had. Especially since he'd only known Cronus for two days. He stopped for a moment and thought long and hard about what it was he could be missing.

Cronus really could just be playing a game with him. He was the type of person to compliment as well as insult freely. He could easily go from being kind and gentle to angry and rough. But, and Kankri would probably never admit this, he actually kind of _liked_ that he was such a loose cannon. He didn't like how he could get under his skin, though. Or how he somehow managed to make him so flustered that he couldn't formulate his thoughts properly. But then at the same time he loved that too.

He stopped, realizing that he had just thought the Big L and chased it out of his mind. It had only been two days. That's not enough time for that! He shook his head to get the thought out of his head. And then he heard a knock at his door.

He knew that Porrim would have to be let in, so there was no chance that it was her. He opened the door to his room and stared at the door to the hallway. He didn't want to think about who it could be. He almost hoped that it was a resident adviser coming to tell him that it was his turn to do the rounds. But he knew that it wasn't. He heard the knock on his door again. This time he moved to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. He still wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to answer it.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.

Cronus was there. He had his leather jacket on and his hair looked less than perfect. He put his right hand behind his neck and spoke. "Hey."

Kankri crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Hello, Cronus."

"Mind if I come inside?"

"Come in." Cronus entered and shut the door behind him.

"So Por came to my room, Kan."

"I see." He looked towards the window. "And?"

He kicked at the edge of Kankri's rug with his hands in his pockets. "And we had an engagin' conversation."

"I hope that went well for you."

Cronus moved closer to him, backing him into the wall. "I think that it did. She had some pretty interestin' things to say about someone I know."

Kankri blushed. He wasn't used to Cronus being so coy. He wasn't sure if this was a good idea. "Oh, did she? Porrim is usually a good source for gossip." Cronus was in front of him now as he was backed against the wall, looking straight at him. He'd never noticed that his eyes were such a deep blue that they almost looked violet. It was hypnotic. Cronus put his hand against the wall and leaned down a little.

"I don't think this was really gossip, Kan." He smiled at him broadly.

Kankri swallowed hard. "Oh?"

"Yeah I think it might've been a little more than that." He licked his lips and took a deep breath. "Kan?"

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna kiss you now."

"Pardon?"

"I said I'm gonna kiss you now." He leaned in closer, but Kankri put his hands up.

"Why?"

He smiled. "Because I want to." He pulled Kankri's hands down and came within inches of Kankri's face. "Don't you?"

Kankri didn't know what to do. He did want to, but he still felt that he couldn't. This was too much. Too soon. But he nodded anyway.


	15. A New Man Takes the Hint

Cronus brought his lips to Kankri's, keeping his hands where they were so he wouldn't startle him. He was surprised at how soft the smaller boy's lips were. He moved his own slowly, relishing the feeling as they pressed together. Kankri opened his mouth a little with a throaty sound, and Cronus followed suit, moving his head to a better angle with a contented hum and a wet smack.

Kankri wrapped his arms around Cronus's back, pulling him closer, and Cronus put his hands on the smaller boy's back and face. He ran his thumb over a sharp cheekbone as they moved, trying to find the best way to connect to each other. Both of them were clumsy, with teeth and noses knocking together, and spit managing to find its way onto their chins. He noticed that Kankri was breathing hard so he broke them apart and placed a second, softer kiss against his partner's still seeking lips, resting their foreheads together.

He pulled away after a few contented moments, a wide grin spread across his face as he looked at the boy he'd just kissed. His hair was messy and his lips were kiss reddened. He looked dumbfounded as he put his fingers to his parted lips. He dropped his hand and his gaze quickly and just muttered, "I mean no offense, but you taste like smoke."

Cronus laughed. "Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or nothin' like that, Kan."

He looked up at him. "I'm not offended." He jumped as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and Cronus just watched.

It was always interesting watching Kankri concentrate on texting or typing. His brow furrowed and the tip of his tongue poked out of his mouth. He made precise motions with his thumbs, making sure that he made no extra movements. And when he was done he slipped the phone back in his pocket. "I'm afraid I must go let Porrim in."

His smile didn't wane. "I'll go with you."

"No. Please wait here for me to return." He ducked his head and smiled a little. "I have to talk to Porrim about this."

"Oh. Uh, all right. I'll just go wait in your common room them?"

"Please do."

"All right." Cronus leaned in and gave Kankri a quick kiss. "I'll just wait in there then." He smirked as he moved to the other room and Kankri went to get his foster sister.

He sat on Kankri's couch, resting his feet on the coffee table. He couldn't get over the fact that he'd just kissed someone that didn't seem to find him incredibly disgusting. Or someone that was just after him for his money. Not that he really cared if people were after his money. He was a descendant of one of the greatest treasure hunters in history, and no one even knew the man's name. But he'd left a legacy that no one could argue with: gold. Lots of fucking gold. His father had told him that, if anyone were to notice how much money they actually had that they would easily be on the ten richest list. But as flashy as his family might have been, the Amporas were still secretive in their own, twisted ways.

He wanted a cigarette. He _really_ wanted a cigarette. But he didn't want to leave or to light up in Kankri's suite. That was just a bad idea. So instead he just put one in his mouth, hoping that maybe that would help. He smiled when he remembered that Kankri didn't hate that he tasted like smoke. He thought about those soft lips and the little noises he'd made in his throat. He chewed on the butt of his cigarette as he thought about what else those lips could do and what other noises could come from his throat.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening and closing. Kankri had returned with Porrim. They entered the common room and each took a seat. Kankri sat next to Cronus, and Porrim sat in the arm chair next to them. She placed the food she had in two plastic bags on the table, glaring at Cronus as she did. She broke the silence. "So Kankri's told me what what you two did while I was getting food. I had a feeling that might happen."

Cronus put his arms across the back of the sofa and rubbed his thumb against Kankri's shoulder. "Oh you had a _feelin'_ this would happen?"

"Yes. You seem too presumptuous to have simply waited until tomorrow." She pointed to the bags on the table. "I brought food if you'd like any."

"Whoa really?"

"Yes. I plan to drill you on your entire life and personality to find out if you're good enough for my favorite foster brother." She smirked.

Kankri frowned. "I really don't feel as if that is any of your business, Porrim. And, if you'll pardon the phrase, I don't think that Cronus is quite ready to meet the parents."

"Fair enough. Then would either of you be offended if I asked that if I may take my leave?"

Kankri's frown deepened and Cronus put his hand on his shoulder possessively. "You don't have to leave, Porrim."

"It's okay, Kankri. I understand that you want to be alone to figure out what exactly you two are."

He raised his eyebrows. "I suppose you have a point."

She stood, stretching. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have left a rather lovely lady waiting for far too long. So I'll see you later, Kanny." She started to go but again turned and looked at Cronus. "Remember what I told you earlier. That threat will apply for as long as it must. And it must apply until you prove yourself."

Cronus swallowed and flexed his hands. "Uh, yeah. Yeah I'll do my best to do all that shit, don't worry."

"Good." And with that she gave them a little wave and took her leave.

Kankri looked up at Cronus as he worried at his lower lip. "I hate having to ask this, as I do not wish to offend you at all, but what are we exactly?"

He rested the side of his head on top of the shorter boy's as he stared at the ceiling. "Well I'm fine with us bein' whatever it is you want us to be." He smiled broadly. "I mean if you only want us to be guys that meet up and kiss occasionally then I'm down with that. And if you wanna just be good friends and never kiss ever again, well, I'll be a little hurt by that I'd have to admit." He rubbed Kankri's shoulder. "And I guess if you ain't comfortable with labels then I'm a fluid kinda guy."

Kankri took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm not entirely sure what I want to call this at all."

"Then let's just call this, well, _us_. That okay for now?"

Kankri smiled. "Yes. I believe that that will suffice for now, and it shall be unoffensive to most."

"Hey I'll take that as a compliment from you."

They sat on the couch, content with where they were. Cronus was excited to see just where everything was going. He hoped that things would continue to be just as fantastic.

Little did he know, this was only the beginning of their journey.


	16. A New Man Plays a Game

It had been ten days since Cronus had gone to Kankri's room. Since they'd become, well, whatever it is they were. They hadn't kissed much since then. Kankri kept avoiding the situation, which was rather infuriating, though he tried to understand. He lay on his bed and tapped out a text.

_ kan. hey kan. wvhatre you doin?_

_ Cr9nus, I am in the middle of studying for 9ur English quiz._

_ ah shit i should probly do that thing for english too yeah? you wvanna havwe a study group?_

_ I d9 n9t kn9w if tw9 of us w9uld constitute a study gr9up. Unless you identify as multiple 6eings at 9nce? I supp9se I sh9uld learn h9w exactly y9u identify as y9ur me._

Kankri had taken to referring to himself like that. He didn't know else how to phrase it. He didn't like the term _boyfriend_, and Cronus knew that. He wasn't a fan of "your me" if he was being fully honest. As great as it made him feel to know that Kankri felt that way, at the same time he felt like it was demeaning to him, or that it was like he was some sort of _slave_...

He stopped that train of thought. He'd been listening to far too many of Kankri's little rants. They were starting to affect how he saw the world and he didn't know if he liked that.

_hey kan its all right. if you wvanna just meet up after you finish wve can talk about stuff if you wvant. or maybe you could skip studyin for that quiz. it aint for another couple wveeks yet. wvhatcha say?_

_ C9me to my r99m. We shall discuss this further._

_ be there in twvo shakes my sweet little kulfi._

He jumped down from his bed and walked to Kankri's room barefoot. He knocked on the door. After a few moments, Kankri answered. He was wearing a black sweater with a bright red "S" emblazoned on the right sleeve. "Hey, Kan."

"Hello, Cronus."

Cronus leaned in to give Kankri a kiss, but was pushed away. "Hey what's up?" He frowned deeply as Kankri pulled him inside.

"Cronus, do you realize that by attempting to kiss me in the hallway we may have offended someone simply by being in a relationship wherein we express PDA."

"Why are you so worried about offendin' everyone?" They moved into the room and then the common area to sit on the couch.

Kankri sighed. "I am slightly offended by that question."

He shrugged it off. "Fair enough, I _guess_." They sat on the couch. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I thought that it was important for us to discuss things about each other. As we have not known each other for that long, I felt that knowing more would result in a deeper understanding of our characters."

Cronus laughed. "So you wanna spill some secrets maybe?"

"That is one way of saying it, I suppose."

"All right, then let's play a little game. It's called three questions."

"How do you play?"

"It's simple. You ask three questions and I have to answer them honestly. Then I get to ask you three questions and you have to do the same thing. They can be anything from 'What's your favorite color?' to 'What's your favorite position?'" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "But lemme tell you, with the way we both talk people's ears off we'll probably get some pretty fuckin' detailed answers. So: you wanna ask first or you wanna answer first?"

Kankri knitted his eyebrows together in thought. "I wish to ask first."

"All right. Hit me."

He took a deep breath, thinking. "How many people have you dated in the past?"

"Oh shit straight to the exes questions. Kankri Vantas you are an evil little man!" He laughed as he ran his fingers through the shorter boy's hair. "Excluding _this_, I've dated a dozen people. Each one for different reason. Five were in middle school and barely count, two were datin' me on dares, two I asked out until they finally said yes even though they each broke up with me a few weeks later and three were datin' me for my money. And to answer what you haven't asked, the group was half guys and half dolls."

"Oh. I see." He worried his lip as he thought of the next question. "Have you ever, well. Have you..." His faced flushed darkly.

"Are you tryin' to ask me if I've had sex?" He laughed.

Kankri nodded meekly. "Yes."

"All right I'll tell ya." He looked up at the ceiling. "Yes, I have. Not as much as I'd like, but I have. It's amazin' what people are willin' to do with you or for you when you have money."

Kankri looked down. He didn't want to waste his last question. "The day you kissed me, you mentioned something about how your dreams had been strange. What did you mean?"

Cronus pursed his lips. And raised his eyebrows. "Okay that's actually not a question I was expectin' to get." He swallowed hard and thought through his answer. "Well, my dreams have been less like dreams since I got here. I don't really know _how_. They've just been more, I don't know, vivid? Most of them have been memories with embellishments. The one I was really talkin' about was the day I stopped believin' in magic." He looked back at Kankri. "Guess I should explain?"

"Only if you want. I do not remember a rule that stated that you must."

"Well I'm gonna." He moved his hand to the back of Kankri's neck. "When I was a kid, I was _convinced_ that I was a wizard. Like not just any wizard, but a Harry fuckin' Potter kinda wizard. You know the type: Defeats the Dark Lord, gets the gal, stays famous. All that good stuff. But that wasn't really what I was thinkin' about when I was a kid, you know? All I wanted was for magic to be real.

"And when I was eleven, my dream came true. I got my Hogwarts letter. I could _go_. But then I got a second telling me that I couldn't because I wasn't really magical.

"And then I got the third. It told me that if I wanted to go to Hogwarts, then I'd have to do a few things first. So I did some things, _horrible_ things, because I wanted to be magic. I stole; I lied; I hurt people. It was like I went from bein' this good kid, to bein' this little terror from Brooklyn overnight. All because I was told it would make me magic. And it went on for fuckin' _years_, Kan. The last thing they wanted me to do was so fuckin' terrible. I had this pet, yeah? It was just, like, you know a fuckin' fish, but it was my pet. I'd had it for a couple years when I got the letter. And that one told me that, to truly become a wizard, I had to kill it, flay it and eat it.

"And I did. I ate that fuckin' fish the day before my Freshamn year to be a goddamn wizard. And then I got one last letter. This one told me to go to my school's band room. When I got there, I was so excited to finally really be a wizard that I didn't notice that somethin' was wrong. There were just three people sittin' in a side room. All of the lights were out and it made them look terrifying. They were so much _older _than me. The oldest had skull make-up on and the girl was just grinnin' at me. But the youngest was a guy I fuckin' knew. I'd seen him hangin' with one a my brother's friends.

"And that was when I knew that I'd been fucked with. The skull guy just started to laugh and gave me the Hagrid spiel before they threw fuckin' _glitter _on me. And that's what happened to me believin' in magic." He frowned. He really hated that story. He hadn't told it to anyone apart from the therapist that his father had sent him to when he'd found out that he'd been cutting. It wasn't a great day.

He felt Kankri move into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Cronus."

"There ain't nothin' to be sorry about, Kan. That shit's all in the past."

"Yes, but the past has a great effect on us. If not for the past what would form our present?"

"I guess you're right. I just don't like thinkin' about losin' magic forever. It hurt a lot, Kan. I don't think people get how much that hurt since magic is fake as fuck, but it _hurt_. And when I think about that it makes me feel like a dumbass."

Kankri leaned up and planted a chaste kiss on Cronus's lips. "You aren't, Cronus. You were young and those people were cruel."

Cronus leaned down and returned the kiss to Kankri. "I guess you're right, Kan." He smiled a little. "Now then. I believe it's your turn to answer some questions."

Cronus looked back up at the ceiling deep in thought. It only took him a few moments to think of his three. And he hoped that Kankri would have answers.


	17. Someone Different Tells the Truth

He wasn't excited for Cronus to ask his questions. He had a sinking feeling that they would be rather intrusive, though he supposed that his had proved to be as well. Cronus's hand was still on the back of his neck, his thumb rubbing circles at his hairline as he thought.

After a few moments, Cronus spoke. "All right. First question." He continued rubbing circles with his thumb. "Have _you_ ever done the nasty?"

Kankri tensed. He was afraid of that question. "I do not feel comfortable answering that particular question, Cronus."

"Hey rules are rules." He smirked. "I just wanna know your level of experience in this particular field. We _are_ a thing, yeah?"

He blushed. He knew that he'd agreed to play the game. "As it so happens, I... I have done that; however, I do not wish to talk about it."

"Oh? I honestly didn't peg you for the type to willin'ly be havin' such _intimate _encounters." He smirked.

"I was young. I did not enjoy it. That's all that you need to know."

Cronus furrowed his brow and stopped rubbing circles with his thumb. "Sorry, babe."

"Please ask another question."

"All right, all right. If you had to pick something, what would you say," he leaned in and whispered, "_turns you on_?"

Kankri rolled his eyes. "Cronus this is simply an invasion of privacy."

"That's the game, doll." He started rubbing circles again. "You can't tell me that there ain't nothin' that lights your ignition."

Kankri shrugged. "I am not one to think about such things."

Cronus shrugged. "Fair enough, I guess." He waggled his eyebrows. "We'll have to see what it is that gets you riled up then."

"Please drop this topic and ask your next question. I am beginning to feel very offended by this."

"Okay fair enough. Last question." Kankri was prepared for the worst. "Why, Kankri Vantas, are you so worried about triggering and offending everyone?" He raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"I don't want to answer that."

"Hey we've been over the rules."

"I don't like your questions."

"What if I told you you could ask me another three?"

He thought about that for a few moments and decided that it may be worth it. "Fine."

"So. Why are you so worried about offending everyone?"

"Because no one ever worried about me."

"Wait what."

"No one ever took the time to care about how I felt or what I thought. So I decided to be as unhurtful as humanly possible." He closed his eyes. "Now I believe I have another three to ask you."

"You sure do."

"How old are you?"

"Haha, what? You know I'm a Freshman."

"Yes, but even as a Fresh person you may not be the typical age. It would offensive for me to assume that you were in the general age bracket."

"Well I'm eighteen. My birthday's in the middle of February."

"That's... unexpected."

"Seriously?"

"I did not expect you to be that much younger than me."

"Wait how old _are_ you?"

"I turned nineteen in June."

"No shit. Pegged you for a young for his grade but old for his age kinda guy."

Kankri frowned. "I am going to ignore how offensive that was and continue with this _game_." He titled his head back. "In the light of your questions and so I do not accidentally shame you without realizing it, my second is the same as yours."

"I did not see that comin', Kan. You're gettin' cheeky." He chuckled. "You sure you really wanna know the answer to that?"

Kankri paused briefly. "Yes."

"All right. Well, I guess, like, my biggest one would have to be, well," he smirked at Kankri, "talkin'. Definitely talkin'."

Kankri blushed and looked away. "I am sorry if my loquacious nature has been a strain on you at all in the time that we've known each other."

Cronus burst into laughter. "No, Kan, I ain't talkin' about talkin'. I'm talkin' about _talkin'_."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"I mean like dirty talk, Kan."

"Oh."

"And I guess control? Not like always on my side, neither. Like when people know what they want and go for it? Yeah. That shit's hot."

"I am not entirely sure that I wanted to know the answer to this question."

"Hey Kan, you asked. It ain't like I'm into scat or nothin'. That shit's just gross." He chuckled to himself. "No pun intended."

Kankri scrunched his nose. "I feel that I should correct you on your kink shaming; however, I feel uncomfortable formulating an argument for that one."

"Hey, it ain't no thing, Kan. Go ahead with the last question."

He thought briefly. "Where are you from?"

"Brooklyn. Born and raised! Well, raised. I was born in Karditsa and lived there until I was like seven."

"Where is that?"

"Thessaly. In Greece." He smiled broadly. "I'm a fuckin' Greek g_od_."

"I feel that such statements may be viewed as blasphemous to those of other religions, or offensive to those identifying as celestial beings."

"Well technically I _am_ a Greek god. Well, in name only. And technically I'm named after a titan. It was sort of my mom spurnin' my father, though."

"How so?"

"He castrated his father and then ate his own kids when they were born."

"Oh my."

"Yeah. My mom named me while my dad was at sea. I don't think they ever really got along too great. Musta been because she's Italian."

"So you're Italian?"

"No, I'm Greek. My mom's Italian. That answer your questions?"

Kankri nodded. "That is enough information for now."

"Cool." They sat silently for a little while and then Kankri decided to do something he considered generally against any of his philosophies. He flipped onto his partner's lap and kissed him deeply. Cronus made a needy noise and that forced him to pull away. "Whoa, Kan. What was that for?" He smiled, still a little dazed from surprise.

"I was taking control. Is that acceptable?"

"Fuck yeah, Kan." He pulled him back down and kissed him back, muttering against his lips. "Fuck yeah."


	18. Someone Different Takes Control

Kankri held Cronus's face in his hands. He'd never initiated this type of interaction. He knew that he was clumsy, but Cronus seemed to be enjoying himself. Cronus's hands were on his hips, holding him down possessively. He opened his mouth and was reciprocated with a long tongue in his mouth. He made a small throaty noise as their tongues began to slide against each other noisily. Cronus's grip tightened on his hips as he moved his own hands to his shoulders.

He pulled away from Cronus's mouth and moved down his neck, much as he remembered the other boy doing in his dream. Cronus growled deeply and grabbed the hem of Kankri's sweater. "Kan?" His voice was strained.

Kankri stopped kissing his neck but kept his face there. "Yes, Cronus?"

"Think you could lose this sweater for me?"

He kissed Cronus's neck lightly. "I suppose I could oblige that demand. However, I'll have you know that I am doing this of my own accord."

"Yeah, babe, that's cool." Kankri leaned back and pulled his sweater over his head, throwing it carefully over the back of the couch. "Oh my fuckin' _God_, Kan! You never told me you actually dress like a nerd!" He laughed as Kankri frowned. He found his black button-up to be quite serviceable.

"I am offended that you would insult the way that I dress, Cronus."

He smirked. "Well maybe I wouldn't be insultin' it if we just lost this belt and untucked this little button up number, yeah?" He leaned up and kissed Kankri's neck. "Or maybe I could just take it off for you.

Kankri blushed, though he still tried to look stern through it. "I am not entirely sure how I feel about that, Cronus."

"How about we make a little deal: I'll lose my shirt and you unbutton yours. That maybe make you feel better?"

Kankri took a deep breath, letting it out in a shuddering sigh. "That may be an acceptable solution."

"Fair enough. Just lemme get this shit off then." He untucked his shirt from his dark grey jeans and pulled it over his head, careful not to mess up his hair. He threw it aside and grinned at Kankri.

He hadn't really expected Cronus to be as small as he was. He was lean, though he didn't appear to have strength anywhere but his arms and shoulders. Raised scars covered his upper arms and torso, while his ribs were visible just below his skin. He put a hand on the exposed chest and traced a long, jagged scar. "What are these from?"

Cronus chuckled. "Now that ain't fair, Kan. You already got six questions."" He reached up to undo Kankri's belt, but was stopped.

"I can do this myself." He moved Cronu's hands away and undid his own belt, being sure to remove it from each loop and drop it behind him on the floor. He pulled his shirt out from his pants and felt Cronus's hands on his thighs, his thumbs rubbing in circles as he had at his hair line.

"Lemme unbutton that for you, babe."

"I am perfectly capable of doing this myself as well, Cronus."

"I know you are, but I wanna."

"To me it seems that you are attempting to take control of this situation, Cronus." He readjusted himself on his lap. "Aren't I the one that said he was taking control?"

Cronus swallowed, licking his lips. "Yeah."

"Then stop trying to take it away." He undid the first button.

"Hey, uh, Kan?"

"Yes, Cronus?" He undid the second.

He moved his hands to the sides of Kankri's thighs. "Uh, nothin'. It's nothin'. Just forget I was sayin' anythin' at all."

"I suppose I shall." And the third. He felt the pressure from Cronus's hands on his thighs increase as he continued to undo the buttons. Once he'd undone the final, he suddenly felt very self conscious. He fidgeted with the hem of the shirt, but Cronus grabbed his hands to stop him.

"Kan, stop that." He looked him in the eyes. "Why are you tryin' to cover up?"

"I just feel that my appearance may somehow be triggering." He did mean it, though in reality it was more that he was embarrassed. He may have been small and thin, but his body was soft edges and lacked any sort of definition past what he had from being that small. And next to Cronus, it was decidedly apparent.

Cronus reached his hands up and touched Kankri's sides gently. "Babe how could your appearance be fuckin' triggerin' to me?" He moved one under the shirt. "I think you're fuckin' gorgeous." Kankri leaned down and kissed him softly. "I'm glad that I didn't get a fuckin' lecture for callin' you gorgeous." He smirked and then kissed back.

Kankri's face was flushed. "You may receive one later if I remember."

"Well then I'll do my best to make you forget all about that." He kissed him deeply, open mouthed, his tongue drawing forward and being met with equal vigor.

Kankri grabbed Cronus's face again, regaining control of the kiss as he did so. They began to shift positions so that Cronus was lying on his back, one leg draped over the edge of the couch. He shifted on his partner's lap and kissed down his neck again. Cronus moaned as he did so, his erection pressing against his soft thigh.

He felt hands at the top of his pants that began to work their way underneath. He leaned back up. "Cronus. _What_ do you think you're doing?"

"I'm, uh, feelin' for more skin?"

"No. No you're not. I refuse to let you." He moved off of Cronus's lap and walked back toward his room, upset that he'd let himself give in to such desires, though his erection was rather painful.

Cronus rolled off of the couch and ran after him. "Kan! What the fuck did I do?"

Kankri spun around, his face set in a scowl. "I was uncomfortable as it was when we had begun, but with your final actions I have realized that trying to do this at all was a terrible idea."

Cronus frowned. "Kan I didn't know you'd get that fuckin' upset."

"You didn't ask. Now I am going to ask you leave."

"Kan I ain't fuckin' leavin' until you tell me what's wrong with you."

"I told you. I do not feel comfortable with that. Please leave. I need to be left alone."

"Fine, Kan. Whatever. I'll just go then?"

"Yes, please."

"All right. Whatever. I'm leavin' now." He pushed through to Kankri's room and slammed the door as he walked back out into the hallway.

Kankri sat on his bed with his knees against his chest. It was a little painful to sit that way in his condition, though he didn't feel that he should relieve it. It didn't feel right. He went to his desk and attempted to study for his Calculus II test. The letters swam across the page and his mind wandered back to the time he'd just spent on the couch with Cronus. He sighed, getting up to lock his door. He went back to the common area and picked up the discarded shirt behind the couch. He brought it to his face and smelled it. It had a faint smell of smoke and laundry detergent, with an over-powering scent of salt and hair product. He smiled. Even though he'd just sent the man away, he still wished he was there.

He slipped off his own shirt and put it on the couch. He sat next to it, putting on Cronus's shirt as he did. It hung loosely from him and was far too long, but it felt soft against his skin. He looked at his phone on the coffee table and thought briefly about texting him to bring him back, but he thought better of it. He could deal with this on his own.

He reached his hand down, unzipped his pants, and gently brushed his fingers against his tip. He shuddered at the sensation, imagining a certain Greek man's hand there instead instead of his own small one. He imagined strong fingers wrapped around him, and chapped lips pressed against his own. Fingers brushed against his vein and he let out a long moan. His tongue darted out to lick the hand brought to his mouth, wetting it to continue pumping as fluid began to leak from his slit. He shuddered as the hand began to move faster and more roughly, twisting a little just behind the tip. His breathing quickened and he could feel heat pooling in his abdomen. Moaning a name, he quickly reached his climax.

Still panting, he looked at his hand. It was sticky with his own semen and shame. He hadn't done that in a very long time, and he had never imagined someone he knew performing the deed in his stead. He looked around the room and realized that he had no tissues. He looked at his button-up and, frowning, wiped his hand on it. He took it back into his room and put it in the hamper.

Tired from his exertion, he undressed to ready himself for bed, but left the shirt on. It was nice to smell it as he was falling asleep.

It was that night, that Kankri Vantas realized that he may have been head over heels.


	19. A New Man Makes a Promise

The next day, Cronus sat nursing a bottle of Jaeger in his underwear as he tried to write a song. He was still rather upset about what had happened the night before and he wondered if it were possible for him to cock block himself. He took a drink of the syrupy liquor and swallowed roughly. He really didn't mind Jaeger that much, but most people he'd met would make disgusted faces when they saw him drinking it from the bottle.

He moved his pen sloppily over the paper, lyrics managing to flow from him more readily than they had in a while. It was amazing what he could do when he was tipsy. Unfortunately, he quickly lost interest in what he was writing and went to master his latest song instead. He sat at his laptop and adjusted the levels of his vocal track. He loved listening to himself sing, especially when he added just a tiny bit of reverb.

Once he'd finished the main vocals, he took the back-ups and started to mess with them. Some of them had been just out of his range, so he did his best to fix the cracks and lower the volume. He listened to the guitar track and felt confident with it, so he moved onto the electric tracks. He'd been working on them for weeks and was finally sure he had them just the way he wanted them. He listened to the song straight through and was happy with how it sounded. He took another deep drink from the bottle and converted the file to mp3. He found a good selfie in his files and put it in as an image for a video to upload it to YouTube.

He took a swig while he waited for the views to pile up.

There were none.

He took another drink and set the bottle aside, thinking about Kankri. He started to palm himself with his left hand through his underwear while he grabbed his bottle of lube with his right. He made a pleased noise as he put his lubed hand into his underwear and began pumping. He thought about Kankri's soft lips trailing from his own and down his torso. He felt them in place of his calloused fingers, and imagined a smooth tongue trailing down his shaft.

He heard his phone chime.

He decided to ignore it in favor of continuing with his fantasy. He felt Kankri take him into his mouth and suck the tip roughly, licking the slit and then taking in more. He moaned as lips brushed lightly against his vein.

His phone chimed again, this time pulling him out of his rhythm. He wiped his hands on a tissue and grabbed his phone as he took another long drink.

_Cr9nus, I am terri6ly s9rry f9r my reacti9n yesterday. I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I was simply unprepared for such f9rward 6ehavi9r and that my 9pini9n 9f y9u has not changed since y9u came t9 my r99m last night._

_Are y9u there?_

_hey yeah kan im here sorry. you wvanna come to my room and maybe havwe a drink wvith me?_

_Cr9nus, I d9 n9t drink. Neither of us are even 9f a legal age to drink._

_hey evwruthins leagl wvhen you got me wvith you. you just gotat not get cauhgt bbae_

_Cr9nus are y9u int9xicated?_

_perschnapps i am._

_I am c9ming t9 y9ur r99m t9 make sure y9u d9 n9t d9 anything reckless._

_okay babe. cmoe an dgte me!_

He looked at his messages and realized that he may have had more to drink that he'd first thought. He took another deep swallow from the bottle and put it on back his desk. He heard a knock at his door and opened it. Kankri stood there with yet another sweater on and he pulled him inside before he could say anything.

He brought their lips together and kissed sloppily. Their teeth clicked together and he managed to get alcohol laden spit all over each of their faces. Kankri pulled away and kept him at arms' length. "Cronus, you are heavily intoxicated. You should try to get some sleep."

He burst out laughing. "And wvhy should I do that?" He frowned as he realized that his speech impediment had just reared its ugly head.

"So that you do not do anything that you regret."

"Like vwhat? Tryin' to grab your ass?" He smirked as Kankri's face flushed again. He loved seeing that blush spread across his caramel face.

"That among other things."

Cronus frowned. "Aw, babe, I ain't gonna do nothin' like that." He pulled out of Kankri's grip and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy's shoulders. "Not unless you want me to." He smirked.

"How much have you consumed today?"

"Half a bottle of Jaeger. Nothin' I can't handle."

Kankri looked over at the desk where the Jaeger stood. He sighed. "Perhaps now was not the right time to do this."

"Do what?" Cronus's eyes widened and he actually looked scared. "Are you breakin' up wvith me? Kan? Are you?"

Kankri looked back at him, eyebrows raised and unamused. "Now _why_, pray tell, would I do that?"

Cronus looked down at the floor and then back to Kankri. "Because I offended you last night?"

"No, Cronus, I was not going to come here to break up with you."

He smiled and pulled them back together, kissing him roughly again. "Glad to hear that babe. You wvanna say somethin' else then?" He smirked.

Kankri dropped his gaze. "I don't want to tell you if you are not going to remember."

"Hey, babe, I'll remember." He kissed him again. "Go ahead and tell me."

Kankri looked at the desk. "No, it's nothing."

"I bet it ain't nothin'. You never got _nothin'_ to stay."

"Please let me go."

Cronus dropped his arms and stumbled back a little. "Your wvish, babe."

Kankri glanced down at Cronus's underwear and then looked away, his face flushed deeply. "You may wish to cover up, Cronus."

"Wvhat?" He looked down and realized that he hadn't put himself away before Kankri had gotten there. "Oh shit, Kan. This ain't me tryin' to be fresh or nothin', I wvas just, uh, in the middle of something before you got here." He tucked himself back into his underwear

"Of course." He kicked at a spot on the carpeting. "I assume that it may have had something to do with what happened last night?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah it did, Kan."

Kankri wandered over to the desk and picked up the emerald bottle, turning it in his hands. "Am I to assume that... That I may have been the subject of this?"

"Right again babe."

He opened the bottle and smelled its contents. "Would I also be correct to assume that you are still in need of," he paused and Cronus could hear him lick his lips, "relief?"

"Uh, yeah babe. I'd say that that's a thing that I'm needin' here."

Kankri took a long drink from the bottle, making a face as he did. He put the bottle back on the desk and looked back at Cronus. "I came here to tell you something important. Though, perhaps it can wait until we both sober up now."

"An, uh, wvhat do you plan on doin' until then?"

Kankri wandered back over to him and kissed him. Cronus thought it was strange to taste alcohol in the smaller man's mouth. "I may be able to help relieve you."

Cronus raised his eyebrows; the statement had sobered him up a little. "Whoa. I, uh, I think I can live with that. But, uh, isn't that why you sent me away last night?"

Kankri ducked his head. "I'm simply not ready for such interactions with me on the receiving end. Though, I would not be opposed to relieving you."

Cronus frowned. "I hope you don't think that you can blame this on the Jaeger later. You took like maybe half a fuckin' drink."

"I won't. I just wanted to try what some may call a little liquid courage to let me say what it was I've been thinking." He kissed him again.

"And what exactly were you thinkin' here, babe?"

"I'll let you know once we take care of _this_." He rested his hand on Cronus's erection. His small hand massaging through the material.

"Can, uh, can we maybe move to somewhere more comfortable than standin' around like a couple a goons?"

"Of course." Cronus lead them to the big chair under his bed and sat down. Kankri sat next to him and rested his hand on the erection again. "Now let me try to take care of this."

"All right, babe. Hit me with your best shot." He leaned back, moaning a little as Kankri touched him. His hand was soft and small; he obvious didn't do much to make them calloused and it was so different from his own, rough palms. His small hand pumped methodically and he brought their lips together, kissing him lazily as their tongues attempted to tie into knots. Cronus reached down and wrapped his hand around Kankri's and mumbled something into his mouth. Kankri pulled away breathless to let him repeat himself. "You ain't gotta be that gentle, Kan. It ain't gonna break me." Kankri gripped him a little harder and circled his thumb where the head met the shaft. Cronus threw his head back and let out a strangulated moan. "Right there, babe, oh _fuck_, right there." His breathing quickened. "Kan, Kan say somethin' to me."

"What would you like me to say?"

He groaned and made a pained face. "I don't fuckin' care what you say, Kan, just _mean_ it. Can you do that for me?"

"Of course." He smiled. "I've never seen you so uncomposed before, Cronus. Would you like me to tell you what it is I imagined yesterday?"

"Yeah, fuck, Kan. Tell me."

"It was you, Cronus. Your hand on my erection, your lips on mine. You brought me to the edge, and then you pulled me over." He stopped moving his hand. "Maybe I should leave you like this." He smiled as Cronus groaned again.

"You are one evil man."

"Perhaps."

He smiled. "Would you let me touch you, Kan? Please?"

He sighed. "Perhaps. Though I feel I may get a little messy like this." He slipped off his sweater revealing Cronus's shirt beneath. He hadn't wanted to change out of it from the previous night. Cronus noticed a stain that wasn't on it when he'd left it there.

"Hey, uh, is that stain...what I think it is?"

"Yes."

"Then you...?"

"Yes."

"Kan?"

"Yes?"

"Could you tell me what you came here to say before we both can't think?"

"I could."

"Will you?"

He chewed his lip, thoughtfully. "I may."

Cronus kissed him. "How about now?"

Kankri looked away and looked back. "It feels too soon."

"I don't fuckin' care, you can say whatever you want."

"All right." He took a deep breath and let it out. "Although this may be offensive to people who do not possess the ability or the desire for such things, and I used to include myself in the category, I have something deeply important to tell you." He rested his forehead against Cronus's. "I love you, Cronus Ampora." Cronus froze. He couldn't believe it. No one had ever told him that. His parents barely even told him that. "Cronus?" Kankri sounded terrified.

"I, uh, I ain't never had anyone tell me that."

"I apologize if it was offe—"

Cronus cut him off with a rough, messy kiss. "Kan it ain't _bad_; I just don't know what to say, I guess. I'd have to say that I love you, too, though. Even though I ain't really sure what that really feels like, you know?" He kissed him again. "I think this is probably it."

Kankri glanced away smiling a little. "Thank you."

"No, Kan." He kissed him softly, their lips moving lazily. "Thank _you_."

Cronus hoped that what had just happened wasn't because of the Jaeger. He wanted this to be more than just a drunken college experiment. He didn't even care that his erection was left unattended. He just didn't want to lose this.

He promised himself not to fuck this up.


	20. Someone Different Speaks to a Confidant

Kankri sat at the table in Porrim's apartment nursing a cup of coffee that she'd brewed for him. They'd been sitting in silence for nearly an hour, but Porrim would never try to pry if she saw him being this silent. She knew it always meant something. She sat across from him and crossed her arms on the table. He turned the cup in his hands and finally cleared his throat, looking up at her. "Porrim."

"Kanny."

He looked away. "What if I told you that I did something quite unlike myself?"

"That would all depend on what it is. Did you defend women's rights by attending last night's slut walk?"

"I was unaware of that."

"Of course you were, Kanny. I was joking. It was a joke. Go ahead. Laugh." Her face challenged him to even try but then she smiled. "There wasn't one, Kankri. You would not just be hearing of it now were there one. Now what is it?"

He ran his thumb around the edge of the cup. "Yesterday afternoon I may have taken a rather forward step in my relationship with Cronus."

She raised her eyebrows. "Did the two of you sleep together?"

He blushed. "No, we did not _sleep_ together, Porrim and I am vaguely offended that that is where your assumptions as to what it was that I did would lead. What would even make you think that I would do that after only having known the man for two weeks?"

"It just seemed like a natural progression in a relationship, Kanny. And it _is _something quite unlike you."

"That is true; however, that is not what it was."

"Then what was it?" She smirked. "You didn't _sleep_ together, but you did do something, didn't you? Has my little Kanny finally started acting on his long repressed carnal desires?" Kankri's eyes widened and he blushed. "You _did_, didn't you?"

He swallowed hard and spoke softly. "I may have."

She laughed crisply. "I'm proud of you, Kankri." She stopped and furrowed her eyebrows quickly. "Did he force you to do it?"

"No, though he did make me uncomfortable the night before and I sent him away."

"If he does anything to you..."

"Don't worry, _mom_, I can take care of myself."

"So what _exactly _was it that you did, then Kankri?"

He made a face as he looked away. "I may have taken it upon myself to assist him in relieving a stressful situation."

"Kankri if you are participating in sexual activity of any sort, you can say what exactly it is you are doing."

He took a drink of his coffee and continued looking away. "I may have touched him inappropriately."

"Kankri, it's not inappropriate if the two of you are consenting adults." She lifted her hands, lacing her fingers but leaving her elbows on the table, and rested her chin on them.

He made a weak noise in his throat. "I may have touched... his..."

"His?"

"I can't say it, Porrim."

"Do you want me to say it first?"

"Yes please."

"We're going to play the game then."

"But we're not in public. I thought that that was the point that of that offensive game?"

She smirked and whispered. "Penis." Kankri just shook his head and she said it a little louder. "_Penis._" He stayed silent and her volume increased again. "_Penis._"

He sighed realizing that she wouldn't stop until he said something. "If this will make you feel better, I'll _say it_." He closed his eyes and tried to act like he was simply giving his best lecture. "Yesterday afternoon I may have gone to his room and touched his penis." His face flushed deeply and added softly. "And after that I may have told him that I love him."

Porrim's eyes widened and her grin disappeared. "Kankri, that's a big step for you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Porrim." He smiled, his face still flushed. "He said he loved me too. That's good, isn't it?" He didn't feel that it was as good as he thought it would be. The way Cronus had said it made it feel like saying it back was almost painful.

"I'm not sure, Kankri. Even if I could tell you for sure either way I don't know if I would. You may not like the answer."

He wrapped his arms around his head and rested it on the table. "Porrim, I don't know why I feel this way. I'm terrified that my feelings for him may offend someone or trigger someone and I just can't bring myself to not feel this way!"

"You don't have to bring yourself to _not_ feel this way, Kanny. And you don't have to worry about offending people. In this case the people that your relationship would offend are not worth your time. They are homophobic bigots who you would typically chastise if you were to meet them personally."

"But what about..."  
"Don't worry, Kankri. There are some things that you truly should not worry about. And although this world is not entirely friendly to your relationship, you have people here who will support you no matter what, no matter how insufferable you may occasionally prove to be."

Kankri smiled. "Porrim Maryam you are a wonderful woman."

"I do my best."

"I'm quite serious, Porrim. I am not sure what I would be doing without you right now."

"You don't have to think about that. I'll always be here to help you, even when you bury your foot so far in your mouth that you have no idea how to get it out."

He chuckled. "Thank you."

He was glad that he had her. She was the only one that he could confide in about any of what was going on in his life.


	21. A New Man Drinks Alone

Cronus sat at his computer, wishing that he had someone to talk to about all of this. He thought briefly about messaging Aranea, but he knew that she would somehow turn the whole ordeal into story time. He decided to go to his blog and figure everything out. He made a new post and started to ramble.

_sometimes bein me is fuckin hard. i cant evwen figure out just wvhat im doin anymore. it feels like i need someone to fuckin talk to but the only person i can talk to is the one person that i dont wvant to tell that im a clueless fuck._

He deleted the post before he even posted it. He hated showing that he didn't know what he was doing on the internet. That just wasn't cool. His phone chimed.

a_nymoby ever tell you that you are one useless piece a shrimp_

Cronus frowned. He had no idea who this was.

v_who the fuck is this?_

_im the queen bitch in this school_

_i still havwe no idea who you are._

_im on your fuckin swim team you cod damn grease ball_

_oh. wvhich one are you?_

_M-E-ENA)(_

_oh yeah! you vwere that cute cat wvith the braids. i still aint ewven sure how you can swvim vwith those things._

_theyre badass you fuck_

_wvhatevwer you say doll. nowv vwhy are you textin me?_

_your hot ass step sis is livin in my sweet suite_

_and?_

_and how the fuck do i get her to mackerel on my FAC-E_

_i feel like that might be the wveirdest pun I havwe evwer heard for makin out._

_yeah that one got away from me there_

_vwell I guess i could tell you... if you listen to what i got to say._

_bitch why you gotta be that way_

_because i dont have anyone wvillin to listen to my vwoes_

_fuck it FIN-E i shore will listen to your woes_

_it aint evwen wvoes so much as a bad case a blue balls and heartache._

_grow a pair an tell me how to make out with serket_

_oh damn youre cold._

_and your an idiot_

_bitch._

_douche_

_...youre okay. wvanna meet up so I can tell you hovw to make out wvith her?_

_cod no_

_you shore?_

_yeah and dont take my fuckin puns you fishdick_

_i aint a fishdick you heartless bitch!_

She didn't text anymore after that. He put his phone back in his pocket. That wasn't exactly the kind of interaction he'd wanted after the previous day. He wanted someone to talk to about how things were going with Kankri. He wanted to yell from the rooftops that someone loved him and that it wasn't just himself.

He looked at his left wrist and traced light scars with his light thumb. The last time he'd told anyone that he loved them they'd laughed and he'd cut himself when he got home just to feel like he was in control again. He'd never cut his wrists before then, and he'd never done it since, but it was always where he'd stare when he thought about doing it again. He didn't want to cut. The day before had been too good to ruin with something like that. He talked himself out of doing it for something to do. It always led down a bad path.

Instead he pulled out the bottle of Jaeger from his freezer and held it in his hands. He hadn't taken a drink of it since Kankri had taken his. He smiled and opened it, taking a long drink, wishing that Kankri were here instead. He'd told him that he needed space though. He was determined to give him that space. The screen of his phone stared at him longingly on the desk. He threw it in his drawer and wrote in his journal while he continued to drink. He didn't have as much as the day before, though he felt like it wouldn't be a bad idea.

He couldn't concentrate on writing. He put the journal down and climbed up into his bed with the bottle. Kankri had left his sweater there the previous day, so he'd thrown it up there. He pulled it on over his own shirt. It was a little short and it was tight on his shoulders, though it fit fairly well otherwise. Wearing it he felt like a complete and utter _nerd_, but when he saw it on Kankri he couldn't help but think it was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen.

He still wasn't sure if they were actually in _love_, but he felt like it was still more than just those first stages of like. Or maybe it was the way his favorite Pakistani had grabbed his dick they day before. He smirked as he thought about that. He'd never expected Kankri to come to his room that day, or to take control like he had again. Admittedly, he loved it when other people took control. It gave him a reason to try and get it back.

But he had to remind himself that this relationship was going to be different. He wasn't going to force this one away. Or have to pay him to do things with him, even though that's how the whole thing had started. He frowned. He didn't like that that's how they'd started out. He decided that he was going to take him out on another date, and this time he'd let him know that it was going to be a goddamn fancy place, because fuck convention. He wanted to make sure they got the best they could from this, because he already felt like it was more than what he'd had in his life. And that was strange for the boy that had everything.


	22. A New Man Sets up a Date

Cronus had sent Kankri a text to meet him in the parking lot at six that night and to dress sharp. He'd donned his dark violet button-down, a black tie, and a pair of black trousers. He slicked back his hair, making sure to get it _just_ right but then felt strange when he stared at himself in the mirror. Apart from when he'd worn Kankri's sweater the previous day he hadn't worn any modern style clothing in over a year. He thought it just didn't look good on him anymore. He mussed his hair a little and made a face before he slicked it back again.

He grabbed his best looking leather jacket and slipped on his boots before heading out the door. He had everything he'd need in his pockets, but double and triple checked for them before he got outside. Kankri was no where to be seen. He text him again.

_hey kan you comin?_

_I am n9t quite ready as 9f yet, Cr9nus. Perhaps y9u c9uld meet me in my r99m 6ef9re we leave?_

_yeah kan im on my vway nowv._

He went back inside and knocked on Kankri's door. After a few moments Kankri answered. He was dressed more or less like he normally would be. Cronus furrowed his eyebrows. "So, uh, Kan?"

"Yes Cronus?"

"Is that what you're gonna be wearin' tonight?"

"You told me to dress nicely and this is my nicest sweater."

"No Kan. Just no. Come with me." He grabbed Kankri's hand and lead him back to his own room. Once there, he had him sit down in the chair where they'd had their moment days before. "All right. I got a shirt in here _somewhere_ that should fit you." He dug through his closet and looked back. "You got a color preference?"

"I prefer black. It is one of the more inoffensive colors on the spectrum."

"All right, black I got!" He pulled out a long sleeved black shirt. "You know you're lucky I kept all a my old clothes with me when I came here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah I ain't worn this in like a fuckin' year." He tossed Kankri the shirt and kept digging. He pulled out a grey cardigan and made a face. "I think one of my little bro's shirts got in here, but this should fit you. I mean I know you like wearin' sweaters, yeah?"

"I suppose, though I do not know if wearing your or your brother's clothing is entirely appropriate."

"Kan I don't give a fuck. You will look _hot_." Kankri's eyes widened and his mouth dropped. "Don't gimme that look, it's fuckin' true."

He attempted to regain his composure. "Then I suppose I'll just go change..."

"Kan you can change in here I ain't gonna jump you."

"Cronus, I am not comfortable changing in front of you."

"Then I'll just stay turned around, okay?"

"I suppose that that is acceptable."

"All right." He turned around and heard the rustling of clothing. "Hey, Kan?"

"Yes, Cronus?"

"Are you goin' to be okay? Tonight I mean. You kinda flipped right the fuck out last time I tried to take you out to dinner."

"Will you be taking me to an establishment that extravagant again?"

"No, I don't think it is, but, Kan, you were seriously worked up last time we went out. You sure you gonna be okay?"

Kankri's voice was muffled by fabric. "Yes, Cronus, I'll be fine." It returned to its normal volume. "You can turn around now if you'd like."

He turned around. It was strange seeing Kankri in his old clothes. He'd actually forgotten just how small he was a year ago. The black shirt was almost _tight _on him, especially since he had it tucked into his wait high pants. "Kan. No. Babe, really no."

"What is it, Cronus? Does something about my appearance offend you?"

"Not your appearance, babe, but those pants. Just. No." He went back to his closet. He didn't think he had anything the right length but he thought he might have the right waist measurement. He pulled a pair of deep violet slacks out of one of his drawers. He didn't remember ever wearing them, but he tossed them to Kankri. "Try these on."

"But, I—!"

"Kan. Just try them on. For me?" He smiled.

Kankri narrowed his eyes. "Cronus I hope you know that one of the first signs of an abusive relationship is one of the participants changing how the other dresses."

"Whoa, this ain't _nothin_' like that! I'm just tryin' to help you look nice on our date!"

"That does not feel much different than what I said."

"Uh, yeah, Kan, except in your situation it's usually 'cause the one doesn't want the other dressin' hot or nothin' because they're pig headed shits. See? I do my research too."

"Cronus."

"Could you just untuck the shirt for me then? Compromise maybe?"

"I _suppose_ that that may be fine." He untucked the shirt and picked up the cardigan. "This looks far too large for me."

"It's supposed to. You're gonna look like a little hipster shit, but you will be the hottest hipster shit this side a the Potomac."

"That doesn't make any sense, the Potomac is hundreds of miles away."

"Exactly, Kan. You're gonna be hot. Put it on and I'll fix your hair."

"What?"

"I'm makin' you extra hot today, Kan."

"Stop calling me hot, I'm beginning to feel incredibly uncomfortable with all of this."

"Okay fine. You just put on that little cardigan and we'll go, sound good?"

"All right." Kankri slipped the cardigan over his shoulders and they left for the car. They got in and Cronus hooked up his GPS so that he wouldn't get lost. Once they were driving, Kankri began to look uncomfortable.

"Kan?"

"Yes, Cronus?"

"You sure you're all right?"

"Not entirely."

"Would you maybe wanna skip this and do somethin' else then?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "No, I'll do it."

"If it makes you feel any better the place we're goin' has private rooms so we don't have to worry about other people. Like the waiters don't even fuckin' come in unless you call for em."

Kankri looked at him. "That seems implausible."

"Implausible but true, babe." He smiled. "And it ain't French either."

Kankri chuckled. "I'm sorry about that day. I was more than slightly overwhelmed and did not feel that I could risk triggering anyone."

"It's fine, Kan." He grabbed Kan's hand and laced their fingers together next to the gear shift. "Everything's a-okay." He brought Kankri's hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss.

Kankri blushed and looked away from him, though he left his hand there. "I hope it is, Cronus."

"Hey, let's just have a nice Sunday evenin' at a nice restaurant, okay?"

He smiled as he looked out the window. "All right."

Cronus kept driving. He knew that this date could be just as catastrophic as the last, but a soft small hand in his own reassured him that it was already better.


	23. Someone Different Takes His Chances

They arrived at the restaurant and Kankri had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Apart from sitting in the University Center, he hadn't been to a restaurant since before he'd started college. Cronus tried to wrap his arm around his shoulder, but he shrugged him off. He didn't feel like being touched. It was too much just then. They walked into the building and Cronus smiled and waved at the hostess. She blushed a little when she saw him, but as soon as he started talking she lost the dreamy look on her face. He seemed to have that effect on people.

When the shed asked for a name, he gave "Sirotek Natsiburovani" and Kankri felt that it was a rather horrible pseudonym, though he didn't question it. They were led to a room and were given two menus before she left. Kankri looked around the room. It looked as if they were in a restaurant built for a single table. The door was closed behind them and there was a button on the table. He eyed it suspiciously, though Cronus just nudged him with a booted foot. "Kan."

"What is it, Cronus?"

"You don't gotta be so scared of this place. It ain't gonna hurt you. And look, since we're in this room there's no one to offend or anything." He grinned widely. "I could even kiss you and no one would see."

"Cronus I am not entirely sure that I would be comfortable with you kissing me in a restaurant setting."

"He crossed his arms on the table and leaned in. "And why would that be?"

"Someone could come in at any time."

"No, they wouldn't Kan. That's kinda what this joint is known for."

"I suppose you did tell me that on our way here."

"Hey I ain't gonna pressure you into nothin' but if you wanna do somethin' like that, you just let me know." He winked as he picked up the menu and thumbed through it.

Kankri did the same and he suddenly felt very upset looking at the prices. "Cronus. I cannot afford _any_ of this food."

"Babe, this is a _date_. I will pay for _everything_. It's no problem."

"It feels problematic to me, Cronus. I do not wish to be indebted to you anymore than I already am, and I feel that taking me to restaurants this far out of my economic means is simply a matter of a classist attitude."

"Babe, I could not give less of a fuck about your "class" or economic means."

"_Excuse_ me?"

"What I mean is that I don't care if you're not in my class or whatever. I just wanna take you to a nice restaurant where we can have a decent fuckin' meal and enjoy each other's company. Would you rather leave now and just get some shitty pizza and stay in your room watching documentaries or something?"

"I would not be entirely opposed to that, _Sirotek_."

"Whoa hey I couldn't give them my real name. It ain't on my fake!"

"And why exactly did you need a fake?"

"Because I planned on havin' a couple drinks here."

"I fear that I may have to object to that, as you will be driving us back to the dormitory."

"Aw, Kan, don't be such a stick in the mud!"

He sighed and put the menu back on the table. "Cronus, you can drink if we go back to the dormitory."

Cronus made a face. "Okay Kan. Do you just want to leave then? Is that what you're trying to get me to do?"

"I'd like to."

He looked at the door. "Fine. We can go. Is that what you want?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go. We'll go get some shitty pizza, I'll get a somethin' to drink from my room, and we can find a documentary on Netflix."

"Cronus, I do not have Netflix."

"I got it, no worries. We can hook up my computer to your TV and pick something that way. Sound like a plan?"

Kankri smiled. "I like that plan much more."

Cronus shrugged. "Can we still call it a date? I wanted to take you out." Kankri could see him moving his tongue over his teeth, though he kept his mouth closed.

"I believe it may still constitute a date..."

His grin returned. "Good. If you're convinced then it must be." He stood up from the table and held out his hand to Kankri. "Now let's go get some shitty pizza and maybe make out while we watch a documentary, yeah?" Kankri took his hand to stand up and leaned up to kiss him. Cronus reciprocated, humming happily then rested their foreheads together. "Babe you are an enigma and that is super fuckin' cute."

They left the room and walked past the hostess. Cronus started the car and drove them back to the dorms. Kankri went to his room and Cronus went to his. Kankri sat waiting for Cronus to return, when he did he was still dressed nicely, but he had a paper bag, his laptop and some cables to hook it up to the television. They went to the lounge and sat on the couch after Cronus set up the electronics and ordered a pizza.

While they waited for it to come, they sat on the couch. Cronus leaned in to give his partner a kiss, but Kankri pushed him away. "Cronus I would appreciate it if you did not initiate that sort of interaction while we're waiting."

He pouted. "Aw, babe, you just look so good right now. Can't I just give you a kiss?"

"Not without my consent."

Cronus slumped back, sighing. "Fine. I guess I'll just sit here awkwardly waiting for the pizza to show up, then?"

Kankri closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "We could put on a documentary while we wait. The site did say that it would take over an hour."

"That's true, I guess." He grabbed his wireless mouse and started to dig through the Netflix documentaries. "So what kind a documentary you in the mood for?"

Kankri thought for a moment. "I generally watch documentaries with a social impact."

Cronus shrugged. "Uh, I ain't too sure what Netflix's got right now for that."

"We don't have to watch a documentary if you would be uncomfortable with it, Cronus."

"No, no it's cool. I can get down with that. Just gotta find a good one, yeah? You maybe wanna pick it?"

"If you'd allow me to."

"Yeah sure, go for it." He handed Kankri the mouse and he began to dig through the long list of documentaries. He settled on _Vegucated_.

Cronus raised his eyebrows as the woman voicing over the program started on its topic. "Uh, Kan. What is this?"

"It's a film about the vegan lifestyle. I find that by learning more about the lifestyle I am more able to tag my triggers and allow people to know what may be offensive in my essays." He stopped and thought about what he'd said. "I mean blog posts."

"I see. And we just ordered a meat lovers' pizza. You sure you wanna watch this one?"

"Yes, I am quite sure."

"Okay, Kan." He leaned back and put his arm around Kankri.

Kankri watched the film, doing his best to pay attention. He was, however, greatly distracted by the arm around his shoulder. He leaned into Cronus and rested his head on his shoulder while he watched, though his mind wasn't in it at all. After a few minutes, he glanced up at Cronus and thought about kissing him again as he had the last time they'd been on the couch together. He took a chance and gave in, making a needy noise as he was kissed back. Cronus flipped on top of him and kissed back hungrily, growling in his throat as he did. "Cronus." Kankri spoke into his mouth.

"Yeah Kan?"

"I would like to continue; however, I do not know how far I would be—!" Cronus cut him off with another deep kiss.

"Kankri. I will stop when you tell me to stop. I ain't gonna fuckin' _rape _you or nothin'. I _ain't_ a fuckin' _rapist_."

"All right." Cronus brought their lips back together, though he was not entirely sure how he felt being below him. He felt trapped and controlled, though at the same time he liked how Cronus could be so overpowering. The chapped lips moved from his own and down his neck, stopping at the edge of his shirt.

"Can I take this off of you?" He pulled at the bottom of the shirt.

"Yes." He took the cardigan off himself while Cronus worked to pull off the borrowed shirt. Once both were off, he kissed the smaller man's collarbones. "Cronus?"

"Yeah?"

"May I ask what you intend to do?"

He smirked. "Well I had _intended_ to suck you off. Is that all right?"

Kankri's face flushed. "I'm not actually sure."

"Has no one ever done that to you?"

"No."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"...no."

He rested one hand lightly on the front of Kankri's pants. "Do you want me to touch you _here_?"

He took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out slowly. "I'm not sure."

"Well if you ain't sure then I ain't gonna do nothin' yo you."

"What?"

"Hey nothin' but yes is yes. I ain't a total sleazebag."

Kankri looked away. "I would not be opposed to you continuing, though."

"All right. If you want me to stop I want you to tell me, even if we're in the middle of somethin', okay?"

"Yes." With that Cronus began trailing kisses down his neck again and he wrapped his own arms around his neck. As Cronus moved down, he moved his hands to his head, gripping his hair. Cronus made an angry noise at the grip on his hair, but gripped the edge of his pants as he looked up at him.

"Can I take these off for you?"

Kankri's voice was breathy when he spoke. "Yes."

Cronus didn't wait to undo the belt and pull Kankri's pants down. He kissed his smooth stomach and smiled, chuckling. "You don't got much for hair, do you?" He didn't wait for a response as he continued to place kisses down his front. When he made it to the edge of his underwear, he stopped and looked up, an eyebrow raised. Kankri just nodded and Cronus moved his hands to the front, rubbing him as he did. A small moan escaped his throat and he put his hand over his mouth. Cronus pulled the hand away. "I wanna hear you."

Kankri tensed as he felt Cronus pull him out of his underwear, his calloused hands rough against the sensitive skin. He moved more aggressively than Kankri was used to and he stared up at him as he did. Just as he was getting into a rhythm, his phone rang. He smirked as he gestured with his free hand for Kankri to be quiet and then answered the phone.

"Hello?" His voice was husky when he answered, but he continued moving the hand on Kankri. "Yes, we're in the Derse dorms." He ran his thumb over Kankri's vein, causing him to make a keening noise. "You'll be here in five minutes?" He continued to move his thumb and Kankri could feel tension building in his abdomen. "Yes I can meet you out there." He smirked as Kankri started to squirm. "I'll see you then." He ended the call and threw his phone to the side, increasing the pace with his hand. "Are you coming, Kankri?" Kankri made a noise that he hoped sounded like yes. Cronus kissed him and he came, moaning Cronus's name onto his lips.

Cronus smirked when he looked down at himself. "You made a mess a me, Kan."

Kankri panted, still in the afterglow what had happened. "I'm terribly sorry."

"You don't gotta be sorry, Kan." He kissed him again, then stood, wiping his hand on the already soiled shirt before taking it and the tie off. "It ain't like I don't got a shirt here." He picked up the shirt that he'd loaned Kankri and pulled it over his head. It was tight and uncomfortable, but it still made him feel better than what he'd been wearing. "I'll be right back, babe." He grabbed his wallet and left the room, leaving Kankri to his thoughts.

No one had touched him that way in a very long time. And he realized that that was possibly the only time he'd ever enjoyed it.

He decided that he was glad he'd taken his chances and that it would not be the last time that he did.


	24. A New Man with a Plan

After what they'd done, Cronus felt ecstatic. He knew that doing anything like that with Kankri on the receiving end was going to be a big step in the right direction. It meant that maybe, someday soon, they could go even further. Or at least he hoped that they could. He knew that it was wrong to try and rush something like that, but fuck it. They were both enjoying themselves. And how could anyone say no when they're getting head?

He had a plan. It was going to be slow, but he had a fucking plan. Phase one was, though not entirely the way he'd planned it, complete. His plan was honestly to take Kankri to a nice goddamn restaurant and get him some good food, but he could live with shitty pizza ending in a hand job. It actually put him into phase two of, well, he hadn't quite numbered them all so he wasn't entirely _sure_ how many phases there really were, but he had them written down and he knew what he was doing.

He was _smooth_.

He returned to the lounge with the pizza and saw that Kankri was falling asleep on the couch. Placing the pizza on the coffee table and then sitting next to him, Cronus nudged him. "Hey there, Kan."

"Hello Cronus." He sounded upset.

"Kan what's wrong?"

He shrugged a shoulder and looked away. "To be entirely honest with you, I am not sure. I believe that I may be experiencing some sort of regret for what has just come to pass; however, at the same time, I quite enjoyed it." His face was flushed darkly.

Cronus laughed a little and wrapped his arm around his narrow shoulders. "Kan that's normal."

"It is?"

"Yeah, there's even a phrase for it. I can't remember what the fuck it's called but I know I got there when I was Wiki-minin' one day."

"Wiki-mining?"

"You know, when you like, go to a random page on Wikipedia? And then you just click links that sound interestin' or some shit. It ain't how I typically spend my time, but it can be fun in a really nerdy fuckin' way."

"I do not believe that I've done that before."

He chuckled. "You'd probably like it."

This elicited a deep sigh. "You may be right."

"And if you don't mind me sayin', you could always play my favorite Wiki game."

Kankri made a disgusted face. "Do I even _want_ to know what sort of offensive game this may be?"

"Oh I'm gonna tell you."

"No you're not."

"Oh yes. Yes I am." He leaned in smirking.

Kankri smirked back. "No you're not."

"Oh you don't think I am?" He leaned in closer, tilting his head.

Kankri closed the gap, giving him a chaste kiss and pulling back. "I do not believe you are."

Cronus rested his chin on Kankri's shoulder and whispered in his ear. "It's called Six Degrees of Adolf Hitler and you Wiki-mine to Hitler without clicking World War II."

Kankri's jaw dropped and he scoffed. "That is an incredibly offensive game!"

"Yeah well it's fun in a weird fuckin' way. You could play with anyone else, though."

Kankri pushed him away. "That seems to me to be the most offensive game that I have heard of in quite some time! Do you realize just how many people of Jewish descent you could offend with such a game? Or just how _triggering_ it could be to even more!"

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "Remind me never to play Apples to Apples with you."

"And why exactly would that be?" There was an edge to Kankri's voice at the subject being changed.

"Babe you would be the most literal and least fun person to play with. That is a game of offendin' _everyone_ you know."

"Oh I beg to differ. It is a game of picking nouns that fit the adjective."

"See Kan. We can never play that game with each other. It'll just be catastrophic."

"Then we'll just have to think of something else we could do."

His smirk returned. "Oh I bet we could think of _somethin'_ we could do."

"Cronus Ampora, you are a _pig_."

"Hey you _like _it." He kissed him again, both of them making contented noises in their throats. When they pulled away, Cronus worried at his lower lip. "You do like it, don't you?"

"I don't _hate_ it."

He shrugged. "Fuck I'll take that."

Kankri shifted in Cronus's grip. "Cronus?"

"Yeah Kan?"

"Thank you."

"Uh, for what, babe?" He was deeply confused.

"Just for... For staying here with me and allowing me to tell you what I'm comfortable with rather than simply doing what you want." He looked almost afraid to say it. "It means quite a lot."

Cronus swallowed. "Yeah, of course. I'd never do nothin' like that to you."

Kankri smiled and kissed him again. "It's been a good weekend, Cronus. I'd like to thank you for that too."

"Heh, yeah." He looked at the coffee table. "Now, I don't know about you, but I am fuckin' starvin' like no other."

"Then I suppose food may be an intelligent step."

"That's just what I was thinkin' here, babe."

They ate their pizza, joking and content with each other. While they ate, Cronus made a mental note that phase three was just around the corner.


	25. Someone Different Gets Caught

Kankri sat in class on Monday, the memory of Cronus's lips and hands still ghosting over his body. He tried to keep it all in the back of his mind, though that was difficult considering he'd already read all of the lecture notes from this class online. He tried to take notes while the professor spoke, making sure to write everything word for word, but his mind continued to wander. He decided to do something that he normally would never do and sent a text while the professor wasn't looking.

_P9rrim, I have disc9vered that 6eing in a realti9nship is rather difficult. H9w d9 y9u put up with it?_

_I'm no+t entirely sure what yo+u're talking abo+ut, Kanny. Is everything o+kay? Did Cro+nus do+ so+mething to+ yo+u?_

_N9, P9rrim. It's n9thing like that. I supp9se it may 6e s9mething that w9men d9n't have t9 deal with in relati9nships as much. May6e y9u just d9n't understand._

_Excuse me? Was that sexism I read?_

_It just seems t9 6e the case, P9rrim. As a w9man, y9u simply d9 n9t have the same physical reacti9ns that I d9 and, as such, y9u d9 n9t understand just h9w difficult this is._

_I'm so+rry, Kankri, I can't understand what yo+u're saying o+ver the so+und o+f yo+ur co+mplete and utter BULLSHIT. Co+uld yo+u po+ssibly repeat that witho+ut the sexism and tell me what's wro+ng?_

_6eing in a relati9nship is hard, P9rrim. And I d9 n9t appreciate y9u minimizing my struggles 6y saying that I'm 6eing sexist._

_And I do+n't appreciate yo+u igno+ring yo+ur blatant sexism in favo+r o+f talking abo+ut yo+urself._

_P9rrim can I just meet y9u after class? I d9n't kn9w h9w to deal with this._

"Vantas." Kankri looked up from his phone. The professor was standing directly in front of his seat, arms crossed and face stern. The lecture had been stopped while he was there. "Now that I _finally_ have your attention, would you be so kind as to put your phone away and to pay attention to the lecture? Unless you'd rather leave and talk to your little friend. I'm sure that whatever it is you're texting so fervently about must be a matter of life or death, otherwise it could have waited the twenty minutes until the end of class."

Kankri put his phone down and averted his gaze. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. I did not mean to disturb class in such an offensive manner."

"Apologize all you want, just know that the next time I see you using your phone in this class, I will have you removed from here."

Kankri looked back up, eyes wide. "Sir?"

"You heard me, Vantas." The professor looked around. "Now where was I? Ah yes, the societal impact of the invention of the radio." He began to pace and again began his lecture. Kankri wasn't even sure why he'd taken the class.

After it was over, he looked back at his phone and saw that he had quite a few messages.

_Fine, Kanny. Meet me in the UC. I have to+ walk there fro+m the Arts Building but I'll be there._

_Kanny? Are yo+u o+kay? Yo+u never do+n't respond to+ messages like that._

Some of them were from Cronus.

_hey kan. your class as borin as mine or is my professor just a useless piece a shit?_

_oh shit someone just got caught textin_

_wvait kan is that you?_

_kan wvhat the fuck you didnt tell me you vwere in this class!_

_oh shit you aint evwen payin attention no more._

_fine ill just surprise ya after class then._

Kankri looked around the room trying to find Cronus, but then he felt hands over his eyes. "Guess who?"

"Cronus stop that! Don't touch me!" He swatted the hands away.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What I do?"

Kankri looked back at him. "I do not appreciate being touched without notice. You know that, Cronus." He stood, gathering his things.

"Hey you didn't seem to mind bein' touched last night." He winked at him.

"_Cronus_, we are in public! Please do not refer to _that_ so glibly!"

He frowned, "Okay I guess."

"Now if you'll please excuse me, I have to go to the University Center."

""Oh hey, it okay if I go with you?" He smiled broadly, raising his eyebrows.

"I would prefer to go alone today."

"Oh." Cronus hung his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. "No, uh, that's cool. I gotta do a thing anyway. I'll see you later." He started to veer in the opposite direction.

"Cronus I'll see you later tonight."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah okay." He waved goodbye and continued to walk with his hands in his pockets.

Kankri realized that he may have offended him, and that made him incredibly uncomfortable. He hated even accidentally offending anyone.

He made it to the UC and saw Porrim sitting at a booth. He was surprised that she ws there before him, as he was usually so prompt in his arrivals. She waved at him and gestured for him to sit across from her.

"Hello, Kanny. Now, what was it that you were trying to tell me and couldn't get through all of that militant sexism?"

Kankri dropped his head onto the table. "I can't get him out of my mind, Porrim."

"What?"

"He's in my thoughts no matter where I am or what I'm doing. It's beginning to affect how well I can perform everyday actions."

She laughed at him without a trace of malice in her tone. "Kankri that's completely normal in a relationship. What is it that's keeping you from being able to do anything?"

Kankri groaned. "Please don't make me say it, Porrim."

"I've told you already, Kankri. If you're doing whatever it is you're doing, then you can say it. Don't beat around the bush."

Kankri took a deep breath and spoke quickly and quietly. "Last night Cronus may have touched me in a rather intimate manner and he may have also suggested that he wanted to do more than that."

Porrim raised her eyebrows. "How _intimate_, Kanny?" He mumbled something. "What was that?" He mumbled again. "One more time, Kankri."

He shouted this time. "A hand job, okay!" His face was flushed. He hadn't meant to say it with that much volume. He put his hand over his mouth and slunk back into his seat.

"See that wasn't so hard." She raised her eyebrows. "So you couldn't get that out of your mind then?"

"No..."

"I can understand that. I've had partners that I couldn't get out of my mind in that manner either." She blinked slowly. "Are you completely comfortable with what it is the two of you are doing?"

"Yes I am. Or at least I think that I am. Occasionally he does something that I do not want him to, though it's never in that context." He rested his hands on the table, fidgeting with his thumbs.

Porrim reached across to him and put a hand on top of his. "Kankri I know that I've said this before, but I'm here for you. I know what you've been through and I'm willing to talk you through all of this. Though I may not know the exact physical sensations that you're experiencing, as we have different biological sexes, I still know the mental impact of this. I also know how serious this all is for you."

He laughed once in a sigh. "Thank you, Porrim. You are truly a great friend."

Kankri was glad that he had her as a support system, though he felt terrible telling her all of his problems. She said that she didn't mind, but somehow he felt that she did.


	26. A New Man Sings a Song

_**Author's Note:** The song that Cronus is singing inside is Don't Make a Fool Out of Me by Kitty, Daisy and Lewis. You can find links to it on my tumblr or AO3 accounts if you're looking or YouTube is always there!_

* * *

Cronus sat in his room, still miffed that Kankri didn't want him to go to the UC with him. Whatever. He could find something better to do on his own. He tried to do his homework, but he soon realized that he didn't feel like it. Instead, he checked his blog. No new followers. No activity. Nothing. People sure were un-fuckin'-civilized. Couldn't they see how fantastic his blog was? He closed out of the page after writing up a post about how unappreciative people seemed to be when presented with high quality music and art.

He heard shouting from the lounge and decided to go see what was wrong with Mituna. He the stripe clad boy fallen over, a skateboard nearby and an ugly yellow helmet on his head. "Hey there, Captor." He crouched down next to him. "You okay?"

"FUCK YOU!"

"Hey! I ain't done _nothin_' to deserve such an ascorbic reaction!"

"Go suck a flagella!"

"That doesn't even make sense, chief." He looked at the skateboard. "Were you tryin' to fuckin' skateboard in the lounge?"

"Yeah!"

"That might be the most re-diculous thing I have ever fuckin' heard." _Smooth. Very smooth._ "What the fuck were you even thinkin' doin' that?"

"Gotta get benner so I can go with my girlfren!"

"The fuck? You got a girlfriend? Captor I did not know you had it in ya."

Mituna laughed. "Yeah I've got a girlfriend! I'm not a limp dicked grease head like YOU!"

"Hey I'll have you know that I've got a sexy little thing on my arm!"

"Your hand doesn't count!"

"You fuckin' sack a shit, I'll have you know that I _do_ got someone!"

"Ooh, what's his name?" Mituna laughed as he got back up.

"You know I think I liked you better when you were pretending to be this cute little guy obsessed with bees." He slapped him in the shoulder.

"Fuck you don't touch me no stop don't touch me!" He flailed and tipped over onto his back with a thump.

"You know what. This is _not_ worth my time, Captor. I don't even feel like humorin' your stupid fuckin' antics with another breath." He stood up and went back to his room, leaving the fallen boy to his own devices. He grabbed his guitar and a pack of cigarettes, and went outside to sit in the sun.

He lit a cigarette, and let it hang from his mouth while he strummed a few chords, tuning as he did. Once he was satisfied he sat strumming the first chords of a Kitty, Daisy and Lewis tune that he'd been working on. He usually preferred to play his own music, but today felt like a day to just sit around and play covers in the sun. He just wished he had someone to play drums for him because he felt that it was just lacking without them. At least he could sing some of the horn parts in their songs.

After working through one song, he saw Kankri coming toward the building. He ran over to him, guitar still in hand. "Hey Kan!"

"Oh, hello Cronus."

"You have fun in the UC without me?" He was still a little hurt over that.

"I had a nice chat with Porrim, if that's what you mean."

"Oh you were talkin' to Por?"

"Yes."

"Oh, uh, yeah cool. Hey lemme put my guitar away and we can maybe grab some lunch."

"I was actually on my way to eat in my room. You are welcome to join me there."

"Uh, sure! Wait here and lemme just put my shit away." He ran back to his case, packing quickly and meeting Kankri at the door. "Thanks babe." He leaned down to kiss him, but was met with a small hand instead.

"Please don't do that in public, Cronus."

"What? Why not?" They entered the building and went towards Kankri's room.

"I've explained this before. We may offend someone."

"Yeah and those people ain't worth bein' around!"

"So I've been told. On multiple occasions." He opened the door to his room.

"Then why worry about it?" Cronus put his things down by Kankri's desk.  
"Because that's just the way I am."

He frowned and wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist. "Babe you don't gotta _worry _about those people."

"But I do."

Cronus leaned down to kiss him and was allowed to this time, their lips moving slowly against each other. "I guess I'll let you worry about them, doll. Even if I don't get why you do."

"Thank you. And don't call me doll. Your objectification could be triggering to some."

"Okay, your call. No more callin' you doll." He brought their lips together again. "Now let's get some chow; I'm fuckin starvin'."

"I do have that pizza in my refrigerator, if you'd like some."

"Hey I'm always up for a good meat lovers' even if it's actually shitty."

Kankri pulled the box out of his mini-fridge. "Would you like me to warm it up for you?"

"Oh hell no, babe. Cold is the only way to eat leftover pizza!"

"I beg to differ. The only way that I can eat cold pizza is with ranch dressing."

"That sounds kinda disgustin' to be honest."

"I'm offended that you think the way I eat my leftover pizza is disgusting."

"Hey I bet you love it but that is_ not_ my thing." He grabbed a piece out of the box and took a bite from it, chewing slowly.

Kankri took a piece out of the box and placed it on a paper plate. He put the box back in his fridge and took out a bottle of ranch. While Cronus ate, he looked at the guitar case. "You were playing music outside?"

He swallowed quickly. "Oh, yeah." He grinned. "Want me to maybe play you something?"

"Only if you would like to."

"Yeah sure!" He looked around for a place to put his pizza. "Could I maybe snag one a those plates and a napkin or somethin'?"

"Of course."

"Thanks." He put his pizza on the plate, wiped his hands on the napkin and then took his guitar out. He made sure it was tuned before starting to strum the chords to the song he'd been practicing earlier and then he stopped suddenly. "Imagine a nice drum beat with this. It's been missin' it since I can't drum while playin' my guitar." He went back into it. Kankri made a face as he sang. When he was done, he put the guitar aside. "So what you think?"

"I feel as if you may have some sort of unspoken message by singing that to me."

"Wait what?" He realized what he meant. "Oh no, no, no, no, no! Babe I've been workin' on that song for _weeks_. Since before I met you even! It just happened to be the first one that came to my head to sing to you. It don't got nothin' to do with anythin' you done."

"All right then." He ate his ranch covered pizza as Cronus put his guitar away. "You know, you're quite good at that."

"Yeah I know."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, allow me to tag your modesty for you."

"Was that sarcasm I detected, Kankri? Did you just make a joke?"

He smiled. "Perhaps I did."

He gave him a quick kiss. "That's adorable, babe."

"Thank you?"

"Yes. That's a time to say thank you. I'm just surprised to hear you joking like that."

"I am too to be honest." He laughed a little and Cronus kissed him again.

"It's nice. I like hearin' you not be so serious."

They sat finishing their pizza and chatting before they had to head to their English class. Somehow Cronus felt like this was a perfect way to start the week.


	27. Someone Different Sees the Scars

The week had proven to be a good one. Classes were going well; there were no more incidents of texting in class; he and Cronus had even started sitting next to each other in their shared lecture. The only thing that he wished would change was Cronus playing footsie with him. It was rather distracting, and he felt that it could be quite offensive to those not in any type of relationships.

He'd continued speaking with Porrim, attempting to sort all of his feelings out, and it was proving at least somewhat fruitful. At the very least it made him more comfortable with himself in all of it, which was rather major for him.

And then that Friday rolled around. He was in Cronus's room, watching him practice another song, while he sat working on a paper for his weekly hall report. Being a Fresh person adviser was a very big responsibility, and he took it _very_ seriously.

After about half an hour, Cronus stopped playing and lay on the floor next to him. "Kaaaaaaaaaaan..."

He sighed, not taking his eyes off of his computer screen as he typed. "What is it, Cronus?"

"I'm bored."

"Cronus, we're in _your_ room. I'm sure that there is something you can find to entertain yourself."

"Yeah, but I wanna _do_ somethin'..."

"And you can _do_ something while I'm working on my report."

"No, I wanna do somethin' with you, babe."

Kankri stopped typing for a split second and then resumed at full pace. "And _what _exactly is it that you want to do?"

"I don't know, maybe just play a fuckin' game or somethin'. Do you wanna play cribbage with me maybe?"

"Cronus that may be the most innocent thing you've ever asked to do while we've been alone. Are you feeling quite well? Should I be concerned for your well-being?"

"No, I just figured you'd rather do that than run the risk of my suite mate overhearin' us."

He stopped typing and turned his head to look at Cronus. "You actually considered that?"

"What I can't be a considerate kind a guy just because I'm a tough talkin' shit from Brooklyn?" He smirked.

"No, it's just rather unexpected. I mean no offense, but you tend to not take anyone but yourself into consideration."

"I do not! If I didn't take anyone else into consideration then I'd totally be lying on your cute little back right now."

"What?"

"Oh my, look at this comfy little spot on the floor! What a cute little red spot this is." He laid on Kankri's back, resting his chin on top of the shorter man's head. "Oh and it's so comfy, too! How did I not lay here sooner?"

"Cronus!"

"Oh? This cute little spot speaks? I wonder what else it can do?" He kissed the top of his head. "It smells like coconut; that's a surprise!"

"Cronus get _off_ of me! You're heavy!"

"I ain't that heavy! I am a _model _of human perfection!"

"Can you at least let me flip over?" Cronus moved into a push-up position and he took the opportunity to roll onto his back. "Thank you."

"Oh it's no problem, babe." He kissed him and continued to lay on top of him.

"Cronus?"

"Yeah babe?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'd... Like to try something."

"And what's that?"

"It's something that I am not entirely sure if I will be able to do..."

"Go ahead and lay it on me then, Kan."

"I need to swap positions then."

"What?" Kankri did his best to roll them over. Cronus obliged, rather confused. "What are you tryin' to do, Kan?"

Kankri bit his lip, thinking. "You'll see." He kissed Cronus, moving down his neck in much the same way that the taller man had done days earlier, and stopped at his shirt, looking up at him. "May I?"

"Uh, yeah sure, Kan. I can get that, though." He pulled his shirt off and Kankri continued his way down his torso, being sure to lay soft kisses on his scars. "Kan? Why are you, uh, why are you kissin' my fuckin' scars?"

"I don't know why you have these, Cronus, but sometimes we need something to make whatever it is that hurt us in the past hurt less."

Cronus frowned. "Babe, you don't gotta do that."

"Do what?"

"_This_. Ain't nothin' hurt me but me."

"Pardon?"

"Kan, _I_ did all a that. Stop. Stop kissin' them." He pushed Kankri off of him and grabbed his shirt.

He sat on the floor watching as his partnerpaced, clutching at the long, jagged scar over his heart. "Cronus?"

"It's stupid, Kan. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Cronus you can tell me about it."

"I just told you that I don't _want_ to talk about it, Kan. It's fuckin' stupid. I was just a kid. A stupid, fuckin' kid."

"I'm sure that you didn't think it was stupid when you did it."

He laughed bitterly. "Yeah and I thought that buyin' my way into a chick's pants was totally a respectable thing to do."

"Cronus..." He stood and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around a scarred waist. "You don't have to tell me. It's not my place to pry."

Cronus sighed, putting his hands on Kankri's. "Sorry babe, I just really don't like talkin' about it."

"I understand. Probably more than you think."

"Kan?"

"I often used to think about what would happen if I were just no longer here. Not necessarily dead, or killing myself. Just what the world would be without me. Sometimes I feel that it would be better off without me."

Cronus turned around in Kankri's arms and rested his chin on his head again. "Don't be ridiculous. You're amazin'. I ain't met anyone like you, ever."

"I don't always feel amazing."

"And who the fuck _always_ feels amazing? I'll tell you who: Drug addicts and crazy people. And even the drug addicts have really bad fuckin' days."

"Cronus I feel that that is rather offensive to those with mental disorders."

"Fuck them, I can say what I want."

"_Cronus._"  
"Hey when you've tried all the meds and none of 'em feel right you got a free pass to bein' offensive to the depressive shits like yourself."

"Cronus."

"And don't get me started on the shrinks. They ain't near as good at what they do as they think they are."

"Cronus. Get your chin out of my hair and _look at me._" He did as he was told. "Cronus Ampora. You are one of the single most offensive people that I have met; _however_, you also seem like you have a jaded nature that has made you this way. And I wish that I could help you."

"Hey I wish _I _could help me, but I already found out that I can't fuckin' help myself to save my life."

"I'm sure you can help yourself."

"I'm glad you think so, babe."

"We can support each other through helping ourselves. I'm quite positive."

"I sure hope so, babe."

Kankri knew that they could help each other. They just had to say what it was they needed help with. But that could wait. A lazy Friday afternoon was never the time for such a confession. It could wait. They were fine. _They were fine._


	28. A New Man Leaves His Mark

Cronus stood with Kankri in his arms yet, their foreheads resting against each other. He hated showing how weak he was. That just wasn't cool. But somehow he felt like Kankri was one of those people that he could maybe tell his troubles to, but he didn't want to lay all of his shit on him. The little guy would worry too much about everything he'd say being triggering, even more so than he already did.

He didn't want that. Didn't want to get _that look_ from him. That look that people gave him when they knew. He realized that Kankri was probably afraid of that look too. Though so far as he could tell, he was more afraid of _giving_ that look.

Sick of thinking, he stole a kiss. It wasn't as fervent as their kisses tended to be, but he liked it. The soft feeling of his partner's lips on his own and the faint taste of cereal from breakfast: it felt right. He couldn't believe how weirdly right it felt. He pulled them down to sit on the floor. Kankri straddled his lap and moved his small hands up from his waist to his back while they continued kissing at their insouciant pace.

He kissed down his partner's neck, sucking roughly and realizing that he was going to leave a mark on him. But somehow that felt like what he should do. Kankri made a keening sound in his throat and he pulled off of his neck with a small smack, being sure to kiss the reddening spot gently before looking the smaller man in the eyes.

Kankri's lips were parted as he breathed heavily. "Cronus?" He could hear some agitation in his voice, but it was a little strained coming out.

"Yeah, Kan?" He smiled.

"What were you trying to do?"

His smile shifted into a smirk. "I was showin' the world that you're my partner."

Kankri blushed. "Is... That what you've settled on calling us then?"

"Hey it's nondescript enough to be inoffensive, but enough to let people know what we are if they look for it." He kissed him again, lightly dragging his teeth over his partner's lower lip as he pulled away.

Kankri licked his lip as he thought. "I suppose that it may be sufficient. I'd been thinking about that term myself, although I'm still not entirely sure ho—" Cronus cut him off with a kiss.

"Babe, it is honestly probably _less_ offensive that you callin' yourself "your me" because that is honestly startin' feel pretty fuckin' messed up. I mean I appreciate that you feel that way, but goddamn I don't fuckin' _own_ you, I just make-out with you a lot." He chuckled at himself.

Kankri sighed. "You _just_ do that? I feel vaguely offended if that is the way you view our relationship."

"Naw, babe, that's just a thing we do a lot." He kissed him again. "And you act like you don't fuckin' _like_ it."

"I act in no such way!"

"Naw, you're right. And if you were actin' like you didn't like it, you would be one shitty fuckin' actor."

"Excuse me?"

"Ain't no one makes cute little noises like you if they don't like it."

"I beg to differ, Cronus. There are cases wherein people cannot physically help it. It is a natural reaction to such stimulation and it is only to be expected that one react in such a manner."

"I dunno, babe. I ain't never been with no one that wasn't havin' a good time if they were makin' those noises."

"There are cases when they would not be." He looked uncomfortable.

"Babe I told you, I ain't gonna do nothin' that you don't want me to do."

"I know. Thank you." He kissed him chastely.

"You don't gotta thank me every fuckin' time, Kan."

"I'm aware of that. I simply feel better thanking you for it."

"Hey whatever you want, babe." He put his hands at the hem of Kankri's sweater. "You look warm, though. Wanna take this off?"

Kankri pulled the sweater over his head and threw it a few feet away. After doing so, he brought his lips to Cronus's, moving at a needy pace. Cronus pulled his partner's shirt out from his pants and ran his hands up the smaller man's sides. His fingernails raked against soft skin and this drew a soft noise from him. As their lips moved fervently, he took his hands out from underneath the shirt and began to unbutton it slowly. Once he'd reached the last one, Kankri shrugged it off and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. They pressed closer together, each searching for more skin on skin contact.

Cronus wrapped his own arms around Kankri's waist, his grip tight. His fingers pressed into Kankri's sides and he felt the tender give of unmuscled flesh. He groaned as a tongue entered his mouth, as if seeking a new home. He sucked on it lightly, garnering a lengthy moan. Kankri pulled away, breathing hard. "Cronus, what exactly were you doing?"

"I was, uh, I was suckin' on your tongue, babe."

"It was... Interesting."

"Did you like it?" Cronus rubbed his palms against Kankri's smooth skin.

"I did not find it unpleasant."

Cronus smiled. "Well I'm glad you didn't hate it."

Kankri leaned down and kissed him again. "Now, as much as I would like to continue this, Cronus, I do have a report to finish. And I believe that you have a paper for your Geography class as well?"

"Oh babe, that ain't no _fun_. I just wanna stay here with you like this."

"I'm sorry, Cronus. We still have responsibilities. The world doesn't stop for us to sit shirtless and kiss in this way."

"And why the fuck not? Do you know how perfect that would be if it did?" He kissed him deeply.

"Cronus! Some other time. We have to think of our school work as well!"

"Has anyone ever told you that you're like a hot little old man?" He frowned at his analogy. "Okay that sounded better in my head, but like you are just the cutest fuckin' thing and you think like you're sixty years old sometimes."

"I am offended by that sentiment, Cronus!"

"Hey don't hate me for the truth, babe. And what happened to our emotional bondin' over troubled pasts anyway?"

Kankri sighed. "I still mean everything that I said earlier, Cronus. I just simply must do this report. And if I do not then the whole system in the hall will be thrown out of balance! If I don't do this, then none of the persons in charge of our residents will have a clue as to the troubles of the residents or what may be happening here! Our floor has proven to be fairly troublesome and you, Cronus, are partially responsible for this!"

"What, little ole me?"

"Yes, you! Don't think that I don't know you've still been smoking in here."

Cronus made a pathetic face. "Aw babe, I can pay for the room to be steam cleaned when I move out!"

Kankri sighed. "That isn't the point, love."

"Aw, babe, did you just call me love?" He smiled.

"Yes."

"That's the cutest fuckin' thing I think you've ever said to me ever." He gave him a quick kiss, smiling.

"Regardless, that still isn't the point."

"Okay fine I'll stop smokin' in here."

"I'd prefer it if you stopped smoking entirely."

Cronus made a noise like a buzzer. "That ain't gonna happen, dearie-o."

"I know, but that's just what I'd prefer."

"Babe I would do almost anything for you. But quittin' smokin' ain't one a those almost anythings."

Kankri moved his arms from Cronus's shoulders and removed the arms from his waist. He stood, picking up his shirt and putting it over his shoulders. "We can try what I wanted to do earlier again at some point if you'd like." He smirked as Cronus's eyes widened.

"Babe I have no idea what the fuck you were even gonna try to do, but yes. Just. Yes." He grinned broadly. He had a feeling that this could be a weekend to remember.


	29. Someone Different Texts a Lot

Kankri sat at his desk trying to work on his paper. It was difficult to concentrate the more he thought back to the things that he and Cronus had been doing. His face flushed when he remembered the pull of his hands on his sides and the feeling of the slide of skin on skin. He rubbed the spot on his neck. It was a little sore, but he didn't feel brave enough to look at what Cronus had done to him. He pulled the neck of his sweater up to keep him from rubbing at it anymore.

He still had half of his report left. It wasn't due until Sunday, but he didn't want to put it off until then. But at the same time, he wanted to go back to Cronus's room.

He stopped that train of thought before it went any further.

The report stared at him on his screen with the cursor blinking at him mockingly.

He tried thinking of something he could type, but his mind just wandered.

Blink.

He'd never had this problem before. He never didn't know what to say in an essay.

Blink.

He rested his hands over the keys, thinking of something he could write.

Blink.

Fed up with trying to figure it out, he closed his laptop in a huff and grabbed a random book from his shelf. If he couldn't write, he could always read. He looked at the cover. Unimpressed by the literature provided by his English class, he set it aside and looked at his phone. It sat unassumingly on his desk, just another piece of electronic communication, but somehow more than that at the same time. It was really his only connection to the man down the hall apart from face to face contact.

It was strange to realize that if his phone broke anymore than it already had he wouldn't be able to simply send him a text to ask how he was doing. Or if he wanted to come to his room.

That made him anxious. He knew that there were people without the privilege of having a cellphone in the world, but somehow that didn't change how he felt about losing it. He pulled it off of his desk and held onto it. A cracked screen, a few missing buttons and a battery life that left a lot to be desired. He thought that it would be a good idea to get a new one soon, but this one had been with him since he'd started high school. It felt strange to give it up.

It vibrated in his hands and he jumped a little. He hadn't been expecting that. He looked at the text he'd received.

_Hello+ Kanny. o+ur co+usins and I are go+ing o+ut to meet Sudhindra to+night. Altho+ugh they've asked me no+t to tell yo+u, I tho+ught it best to ask if yo+u'd like to co+me._

_Thank y9u f9r the invitati9n, P9rrim. As against my 6etter judgment as it may 6e, I may take y9u up 9n the 9ffer._

_O+h dear. This may co+me as quite the sho+ck to o+ur dear co+usins. Tho+ugh Sudhindra will be happy to see yo+u._

_I w9uld 6e quite glad t9 see him as well. I d9 n9t 6elieve that I've seen him since he 6egan his missi9n trip._

_Then yo+u'll be meeting us?_

_Yes. Where will this meeting transpire?_

_We'll be meeting this evening at six neat the west dining hall and then we'll be walking to+ Perkin's._

_Isn't that a little far fr9m campus?_

_It is, but a walk wo+uld do+ yo+u so+me go+o+d_

_I am 9ffended that y9u w9uld insinuate that I need exercise._

_I'm no+t insinuating, Kanny, I am blatantly stating that yo+u need to+ get o+ut a little mo+re._

He huffed a little and then received another text. This one was from Cronus.

_babe im bored as fuck here. you vwanna maybe do somethin tonight?_

_Cr9nus I fear that I will already 6e engaged with P9rrim and my c9usins. We'll 6e meeting up with my br9ther t9night and I haven't seen him f9r quite s9me time._

_awv babe could I come wvith you?_

_I d9n't kn9w if y9u w9uld want t9 c9me. P9rrim is g9ing t9 6e there and she still wants t9 kn9w everything a69ut y9u to see if y9u are, and I qu9te, "fit f9+r my fav9+rite f9+ster br9+ther" end qu9te._

_wvhy the plus signs?_

_She uses the female sym69l in place 9f the letter "9h" and the "6ee" and "9h" keys 9n my ph9ne have 6een 6r9ken f9r quite s9me time._

_i vwas wvonderin about that. vwhy not use zero?_

_The zer9 has fallen 9ff._

_your phone may be the biggest piece of shit i evwer heard of kan._

_I find that incredi6ly 9ffensive,_

_yeah yeah course you do. so you dont think I should come vwith you tonight then?_

_I w9uld appreciate it if y9u were t9 c9me; h9wever I w9uld n9t f9rce y9u t9 c9me._

_hey ill come! be sure to let por know that ill be comin though. dont vwanna surprise her or nothin._

_I will. Let me tell her what shall 6e transpiring._

He tapped out a message to Porrim as quickly as he could.

_P9rrim, I was w9ndering if y9u w9uld be 9ffended 6y Cr9nus's presence t9night. I have 6een speaking with him and he w9uld like t9 j9in us this evening. W9uld that be all right 6y y9u? 9r sh9uld I tell him n9t t9 c9me?_

_I was wo+ndering when this wo+uld happen._

_When what w9uld happen?_

_When yo+u wo+uld begin asking if yo+ur significant o+ther co+uld jo+in us o+n o+ur littler excusio+ns._

_Is it all right?_

_It's perfectly fine, Kanny. I'm actually quite pro+ud that yo+u want to+ take him anywhere. And I do+n't think that any o+f us wo+uld be o+ffended if the two+ of yo+u wanted to+ sneak o+ff o+n yo+ur o+wn._

_Thank y9u P9rrim. I am g9ing t9 let Cr9nus kn9w that he may j9in us t9night._

_Have fun, Kanny. I'm glad that the two+ o+f yo+u are getting alo+ng so+ well._

He went back to his messages with Cronus and smiled a little as he typed out his message, glad that he could come with them.

_Cr9nus, P9rrim said that y9u are welc9me t9 j9in us this evening._

_really babe? thats fuckin keen! count me in on your family dinner!_

_I am n9t entirely sure that this c9nstitutes a family dinner, Cr9nus._

_is it a dinner wvith your family?_

_Well yes._

_then it is in fact a familial din din._

_...Did y9u really just type "din din" Cr9nus?_

_yes. yes i did._

_I mean n9 9ffense, 6ut s9metimes y9u are quite 9dd._

_oh you knowv you like it._

_Perhaps I d9. 9h yes. We shall 6e meeting near the west dining hall at a69ut six. I'll c9me get y9u when it's time. D9es that s9und agreea6le?_

_sounds perfect babe. so ill see you in a couple then?_

_Yes._

_svweet! see you then! 3_

Kankri could feel his eye twitching at the texted heart, but he didn't feel that it was twitching in a bad way. He was just surprised. No one had ever sent him a heart before. He clutched his phone and smiled a little to himself.

He was glad that he'd tried to stop Cronus from smoking on that first day in the halls. He didn't know _how _things would be different if he hadn't, but he knew that he would be.


	30. Someone Different Feels Forlorn

At roughly five that evening, Kankri was back to staring at his laptop. Although the cursor was no longer blinking in such a mocking way, he still had about a quarter of it left to write. It was the section about the disturbances caused by the rooms making up suite 107. Part of it was the smell from Cronus's cigarettes, which had gotten wildly out of hand, and part of it was Mituna's frequent raging outbursts and crashes. While he tried to be understanding of Mituna's condition, he just found his entire existence to be troubling for those with disabilities. He just made people think that _all_ people with disabilities were like that and that was just offensive in and of itself.

He decided that the best course of action was to attempt to disconnect himself from the situation. How would he have written this if he and Cronus _weren't_ partners? Harshly. Very harshly.

He began typing fervently, leaving out names and exact room numbers, as he didn't want to get them into trouble. He just needed to report what was going on. While he typed, his phone vibrated.

_hey kan its like quarter to. you wvanna get goin?_

_ I'll 6e there s99n._

He saved the paper and shut down his laptop. He decided to put on a different sweater as the one that he was wearing was far too bright to wear in public. Who knows who could triggered by such a vibrant color? It was bad enough that he wore it to _class_, let alone to a place wherein he had no idea just who could be there. He decided that his unoffending feline sweater was his best option. He hadn't worn it since the day that Porrim had given him his scarlet sweaters, though he promised himself not to shame her. It would quite rude to do that in front of Sudhindra. He was quite the advocate of, well, everything. At least everything positive.

He slipped on his shoes and made his way to Cronus's room. Once there, he knocked thrice on the door. Cronus answered, dressed as he normally would. "Hey babe, was startin' to think that you weren't gonna show. You ready?"

"Yes I'm ready. If I weren't ready I would not have come to your room."

"Oh you're bein' sassy today. I can dig that." He grabbed a jacket off a hook and locked the door behind him when he exited.

"We need to hurry. We're going to be late."

"You know we could just drive and meet them there, yeah?"

"We could, but I do not wish to drive to the restaurant."

"I just meant we could drive to the dinin' hall, babe. You wanna do that?"

Kankri sighed. "I suppose that would be a solution that I could live with."

"All right, cool. Let's go then." He wrapped his arm around Kankri's shoulder as they made their way down the hallway, but Kankri slapped it off.

"Excuse me, Cronus, but we have had this conversation before. I do not appreciate it when you do that without my permission."

"Aw, babe, really?"

"Yes, _really_."

"Okay, okay." He slipped his hands in his pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He took one out and replaced the pack in his pocket.

"You're not going to smoke that, are you?"

"No, I'm just goin' to stick it in my mouth like a chump and let it dangle there."

"I do not appreciate your sarcasm, Cronus."

He raised his eyebrows as he put the cigarette in his mouth. "Who said I was bein' sarcastic?"

"Cronus you smoke in your dorm room, why wouldn't you smoke that out here?"

"Because I ain't gonna stink up my fuckin' car. Can't stand when people do that." He shuddered, making a disgusted noise.

"Sometimes, Cronus, I do not understand you."

"Hey sometimes I don't understand you, either, babe, but I've accepted that as just a fact of knowin' you." They got into his car and he started it.

"I feel as if I should be vaguely offended by that statement."

"Nah, don't be." He grabbed Kankri's hand and laced their fingers together. "It's just a part of you, yeah?"

Kankri sighed. "I suppose."

Cronus kept their hands interwoven as they drove on in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, but Kankri was still nervous. He'd never done anything like this before. He tightened his grip on Cronus's hand and was reciprocated with his thumb rubbing against his own lightly. "You okay?"

He looked out the window. "I'm not entirely sure."

"Hey, don't worry, okay? Whatever happens or is bothin' you you're gonna be surrounded by people that care about you, yeah?" He said nothing and Cronus continued. "Hey, let's put some music in, alright?" He nodded and Cronus turned on the radio. The music playing was dubstep, but it sounded amateurish. Kankri heard lyrics scattered throughout and realized that it was Cronus.

"You made this?"

"What? Ah, yeah. It ain't nothin' too special. Was just fuckin' around with remixin' one a my songs. Turned out okay for what it is, though." Kankri noticed him chewing on the butt of his cigarette as they pulled into the parking lot near the dining hall.

"I can see my cousins over there. We should go meet them."

"Yeah that was kinda the plan, babe."

"Yes, of course it was." He took a deep breath as they got out of the car.

"You're not okay, are you?"

"Not entirely, no."

Cronus stepped in front of him and put his hands on his shoulders as he looked into his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Cronus. It's nothing."

"Hey it _ain't_ nothin' if you look this fuckin' upset. What's _wrong_?"

"I just told you, Cronus, that I do not wish to speak about it. Now if you would please remove your hands from my shoulders so that we may continue on our way to meet my cousins, then I would greatly appreciate it." Cronus did as was asked of him, but scowled when he did.

"Well excuse me for tryin' to be a nice fuckin' guy! I guess I'll never ask what's wrong ever again then?"

"Cronus don't over react. I just don't want to talk about it. It's none of your concern and I would appreciate it if you did not react in such a volatile manner."

"Whatever." Cronus shoved his hands in his pockets, the cigarette still dangling from his mouth like a nicotine sucker.

They made it to the bench where his cousins were sitting and joined them. "Hello, Kankri."

"Hello, Kanaya." He looked over at his other cousin. "Karkat."

"Fuck you." Karkat kept his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

Kanaya put her hand in his hair. "Don't be that way, Karkat."

He swatted her hand out of it with a scoff. "No fuck both of you. All I wanted to do was stay in my fucking room and finish this vomit streaked program that my nut licking professor has oh so graciously assigned for me to finish by midnight tomorrow night." He looked over at Cronus and his mouth dropped open. "You. I _know _you. I didn't recognize you without your stupid fucking glasses, though."

Kankri raised his eyebrows. "You two know each other, Cronus?"

"Eh, kinda. He's my little brother's friend." He shrugged.

"Yeah I'm your little brother's friend. I'm also the only fucker stupid enough to listen to either of your problems. What the fuck are you doing _here_, you sodden bag of filth?"

"Hey fuck you, I'm Kankri's—"

"Friend. He's my friend." Kankri cut him off. He didn't feel like telling them that Cronus was his partner. Not just yet anyway. Cronus frowned at him again.

Karkat scoffed. "Wow, congrats. You've managed to make a friend that hasn't been chased away by your rambling self-obsessed preaching. A-plus. Ten out of ten. Allow me to be the first to offer you a congratulatory go fuck yourself. Now," He looked right at Cronus, "Go fuck yourself."

Before either of them could throw any more insults at each other, Porrim walked up the sidewalk. "Hello everyone. Are we all ready?"

Kanaya nodded, smiling. "We should be. Are we all here?"

"It certainly appears that we are. Though didn't you say that Rose was to be meeting us here as well?"

"She'll be meeting us there. Her chess troupe was working on their costumes for our next game in the UC."

"Then we should get going. I would hate to keep Sudhindra waiting. He told me that he has something that he wanted all of us to know, though he didn't say what it was."

Kankri looked over at Cronus. He didn't know what his brother would think of his partner, but he hoped that they would get along. It would be a shame if his family didn't like the man that he loved.


	31. A New Man Actually Cares

Cronus sat in the corner booth with his leg twitching. He didn't really _know _anyone here. Sure he'd met Karkat and Porrim, but the only person he _knew_ was Kankri, who was busy talking to Porrim and his brother. It made him incredibly uncomfortable. He tried to grab Kankri's hand under the table but his partner pulled away as their fingers brushed together. He sighed.

All of them were having long winded conversations, or telling stories and all he wanted to do was put his arm over Kankri's shoulder. He looked over at Kanaya and Rose; they looked like they were in their own little world. He was jealous. He realized that he'd seen them somewhere but he couldn't put his finger on it. Whatever. He didn't care. He heard his phone chime in his pocket.

_Cr9nus, I w9uld appreciate it if y9u did n9t attempt t9 h9ld my hand under the ta6le. My family d9es n9t kn9w that we are partners, with the excepti9n 9f P9rrim._

He frowned and looked around the table before looking directly at Kankri. He'd sent him a _fucking text_ while he was right fucking next to him. He angrily tapped out a response.

y_eah kan? wvell it seems like a pretty fuckin big thing to NOT tell them. Maybe vwe should put on our 8IG 8OY pants and just fuckin do it?_

He could hear Kankri's phone vibrating, but the sweatered boy didn't check it. He knocked their knees together, trying to get his attention. He was beginning to feel like he wasn't actually welcome. He'd never even been to a restaurant and stayed longer than a couple minutes with Kankri before. And this certainly wasn't what he'd had in mind when they finally made it to one. He looked across the booth at Sudhindra.

He reminded him of a happier Kankri, but with a scruffy beard on his chin and shorter hair. It was strange to watch the two of them talk, since they were both so animated.

He really needed a cigarette.

He looked back to Kankri, who still hadn't answered his text. "Hey, Kan? I'm gonna go snag a smog. That okay?"

Kankri looked at him, his face disinterested. "Of course, go ahead."

Cronus frowned a little as he climbed out of the booth, though Sudhindra started to edge out on the other side. "Do you mind if I go with you? I haven't had a cigarette since I've gotten back into the States."

"Suit yourself, chief. I ain't the master of the outside world." He headed toward the front door and Sudhindra followed close behind him. He sat at a bench under a nearby tree and pulled a cigarette out of the pack and put it in his mouth.

Sudhindra sat next to him and patted down his pockets. "Hey, can I bum a cigarette off of you? It looks like I don't actually have any."

"Uh, sure." He pulled one out and handed it to him.

"Thanks. Need a light?" He pulled a Zippo out of his pocket and lit his own.

"Whoa shit, man, how'd you get that fuckin' thing to work? I ain't been able to figure out what the fuck's wrong with mine!"

Sudhindra raised his thick eyebrows. "Do you have fluid in it?"

"What the fuck do you _mean_ "Do I have fluid in it?" Of _course_ I have fluid in it. It's a fuckin' fuckin' lighter!"

Sudhindra laughed as he blew smoke out of his mouth. "You have to buy fluid for Zippos. Now, do you need a light?" He held his lighter up.

"Uh, yeah sure." Sudhindra lit his cigarette then put the lighter away.

"Now, tell me Cronus. How do you know my brother?"

Cronus frowned. He wanted to tell the truth, but he didn't want to make Kankri upset.

"He's, uh, he's my Freshman adviser. He busted me for smokin' in my room the first day in the dorms and we've just sorta had this relationship of crazy random happenstance ever since." That was kind of the truth. He was really just lying by omission.

"That's strange because Kankri's never brought a friend to dinner before." He smiled. "Are you screwing my brother?"

"Whoa what!"

"Sorry if that seems forward. It just seemed to be the most logical step, seeing as you don't seem to be the typical type of friend that _anyone_ would bring around to meet their family. And seeing as my brother is so secretive and he'll probably never actually _tell_ us what exactly is going on between the two of you, asking you seems to be my only option." He took a long drag from his cigarette.

"Whoa holy shit. You, uh, you and Kan are both pretty talkative."

He laughed once through his nose. "I suppose we are. But you're avoiding my question."

Cronus sat in silence for a while. The honest answer really was no, but at the same time he really wanted it to be true. He took a drag and held the smoke it for a few seconds before blowing it out with a sigh. "No, uh, we're not screwin'." _Yet_. He decided to leave off the yet. It just wasn't classy.

"Hm, that doesn't really surprise me." He rubbed the butt of his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger. "How much do you know about him?"

"What?"

"How much do you know?" His question sounded cryptic. Cronus really didn't think he wanted to know why.

"I, uh, I know he's a foster kid. And that he might be the single most worried person on the face of the planet. And that he looks really good in sweaters. Even ugly fuckin' sweaters like that piece a shit he's wearin' today." He smiled. "I know that he likes documentaries, but that he hates it when they're too biased. And that he's never had much of a mom. I know that sometimes he calls his blog posts essays and that if he had to choose a color to wear, he'd pick black, but he looks much better in red." He took a drag and let it out while he spoke. "I know that he trusts Porrim, and that he cares about you. I know that he makes this cute little face when he texts, and that he hates bein' touched. Really hates bein' touched, actually."

Sudhindra smiled again. "It sounds like you care about him."

"I, uh, yeah. Yeah I do."

He put his cigarette out in the ashtray next to the bench. "You should be careful with him. He puts on a strong front, but he's still like a little kid. I used to be a lot like him, so I know that he's fragile." He stood up stretching. "Don't break him."

"What?" Cronus put his cigarette in the ashtray and stood up too.

They started to head back towards the restaurant. "He's come a long way in the time I've known him. Don't make him relapse."

"I have no fuckin' clue what you're talkin' about, chief."

"He'll tell you when he's ready. Just like he'll tell us about the two of you when he's ready." Cronus's eyes widened. "I'm talkative, not blind, Cronus. I can see the way you two have been looking at each other." They entered the restaurant. "Now don't tell him that we had that little talk, all right? For all he knows I just talked to you about human equality and that's the way I'd like to keep it."

They went back to the table and sat back down. Cronus couldn't help but notice that Rose and Kanaya had left while he'd been smoking, leaving more room for everyone else. Kankri had gone from talking to Porrim to lecturing Karkat. Cronus could only assume it was because of his "incredibly offensive and triggering language" because fuck that kid could come up with interesting insults.

He heard his phone chime. He realized that it'd been going off for a while when he checked it.

_6ecause_ _I'm scared t9. That's why._

_kan you dont gotta be afraid. fuck your cousins O8VWIOUSLY doin the do vwith that blonde chick. I doubt theyd care if they knewv vwere together._

He scooted closer to Kankri and stretched his arms, draping them over the back of the booth. If Kankri was going to ignore him while he was there, then he'd use the oldest trick in the book to get a little contact.. He rubbed his thumb against his shoulder, glad that he hadn't been shoved away this time.

He still hoped that the weekend was going to be a good one, but Sudhindra's cryptic statements had left him wondering just what the hell Kankri wasn't telling him.


	32. A New Man Strikes a Deal

Kankri had continued his diatribe toward Karkat about his offensive language until they'd finished their food. Cronus had managed to scoot closer to him and touch their knees together, which put a small smile on his face. He took a swig of his Coke, but was a little disgruntled when he'd realized that it was nothing but ice.

He leaned back in his seat while he waited for the rest of the table to finish their food. He heard his phone chime.

w_what the fuck do you think your doin cro_

_ah fuck whats wvrong dan?_

_oh you knoww wwhats fuckin wwrong dont give me that_

_i really havwe no clue._

_that fuckin song you just posted wwas the one you stole from my fuckin journal_

_no it aint dan dont be a shit._

_oh now your just plagiarizin my fantastic poem to turn into your shitty vverses_

_i modified it enough to not be a fuckin plagiarized thing dan. it wvas just...inspired._

_your the wworst brother evver_

_yeah lowve you too bro._

He put his phone back in his pocket and looked back to the table. They were still eating. His brother was such a little shit; he would _never_ use one of his shitty poems for a song. At least not without seriously changing it. It was just a really shitty poem anyway. Who cares what he _did_ with it.

He frowned while he thought of it and then sighed. He realized that he should take the song down. He'd editted the whole thing drunk anyway.

He put his hand under the table and brushed the back of it against Kankri's thigh. He felt him tense up a little and moved his hand away. "Kan."

Kankri turned and looked at him. "What is it, Cronus?"

"I was just wonderin' if you were almost done, babe." His eyes widened when he realized that he'd called him babe and that he hadn't told his family anything. Fortunately it looked like none of them had paid any attention.

Kankri frowned. "Cronus, that is incredibly rude." He sighed. "But I suppose that I am in fact finished."

Sudhindra spoke up. "If you want the two of you can go, Kankri. I'm going to be around all month. You and your friend can go back to the dorms. I had something that I wanted to talk with Porrim about first anyway."

Karkat sighed, obviously relieved. "Yeah go ahead. I'm sure you and your boy toy would have more fun without us anyway. And it's looked like Corona has wanted to get out of here since he came in the door."

"Fuck you Karkat, you _know _my fuckin' name."

"What was that, Corvid?

"Oh all right Truck Dog. Two can play at this fuckin' game."

"Cronus." Kankri looked at him sternly.

"What?"

"Don't antagonize my cousin."

"Okay fine."

Kankri looked back at Sudhindra. "I thank you for letting me know that you'll be here for the next month. Perhaps we could arrange a time to speak privately this month."

His brother smiled. "Don't be so formal, Kankri. I'd love to see you again sometime this month to just talk. Now get out of this booth and give me a hug already!"

Kankri made a face and looked at Cronus. "Cronus I need you to move, please."

"Yeah, yeah I'm movin', I'm movin'," He inched out of the booth and stood up, cracking his back, then moving out of the way so the brothers could hug. He wished that he and his little brother got along that well. He watched while they hugged. It was strange seeing just how short Kankri was even compared to his own brother.

When they pulled away from each other and Kankri turned back to him. "Are you ready to go, then?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. You wanna go back to the car?"

"Yes, let's." He turned back to the table. "I shall speak with you later, Porrim. Karkat, I would love to continue our discussion at a later date. Sudhindra, let me know when you would like to talk." He bowed his head and closed his eyes. "I hope to speak with all of you again soon. Goodbye."

They all said their goodbyes to him as well and then he and Cronus left. Once outside of the restaurant, Cronus looked side long at Kankri. "So. You're scared?"

Kankri ducked his head. "Yes."

"What are you so afraid of, babe? I mean Por seems like the kind of lady that's into ladies, and it sure as fuck looked like your cousin Kanyehnyeh was boinkin' that blonde chick from the way they were makin' goo-goo eyes at each other. Not to mention that they left before they ordered any fuckin' food."

Kankri made a face. "Did you just call my cousin Kanyehnyeh?"

"Ain't that her name?"

"It's Ka_naya_. Taken from the Sanskrit word for Virgo."

"Nyeh, whatever." He shrugged. "But you're dodgin' this whole thing here, Kan. Why are you so fuckin' scared?"

Kankri took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Cronus, I do not feel that we should be discussing this. At least not in public. I would be much more comfortable waiting at least until we arrive back at the car."

"I guess we can do that. Or you can nut up and just say what the fuck's wrong."

Kankri rolled his neck. "Fine." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't wish to tell them because I'm scared. And I'm afraid because I've never exactly had to _do_ this before. I haven't exactly made it a point in my life to date, and I've never officially had a partner."

Cronus furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, Kan, if you ain't never been with no one like you been with me, then how did you, you know, get down with someone? You ain't exactly the one night stand kinda guy, Kan." He could see Kankri tense when he asked. "Kan? Is, uh, is there somethin' you ain't tellin' me?"

"Can't this wait until some other time, Cronus?"

"Nope. Can't wait. Not anymore, Kan."

"What do you mean by not anymore?"

"I _mean_ that this feels like a big fuckin' thing and you need to stop not talkin' about these big fuckin' things, Kan." They'd made it to the dining hall and could see the car from there.

"Cronus, I'm not entirely sure how comfortable I am with this. I don 't believe that this is something that I should talk about until I'm ready. And now you've changed the subject by asking about my," he paused, like the words would make him sick, "_sexual_ history."

"Let's make a deal: I'll tell you mine and you tell me yours. You hear me?"

"I suppose that could be arranged. Could we at least wait until we're back in the safety of the dormitories, please? I feel vulnerable out here. How does that sound?"

"Five by five, babe. Five by five."

They got into the car and rode to the dorms in silence. Cronus couldn't believe that it was coming down to making a deal like this to find out what had happened to Kankri. What had made him so depressed when he was younger? And what could have been so bad that he didn't want to talk about it?

He had too many questions, and this time he didn't think the answers were going to be so simple.


	33. A New Man Learns the Truth

They sat in Kankri's lounge at either side of the couch. Although Cronus said he'd start, neither of them really knew _how_. Cronus took a deep breath. "So."

"So."

"I guess I should start, yeah?"

"That would be what we are here for."

"All right. So. People I've fucked. Oh fuckin' piss Christ that sounded worse than I thought it would." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, uh, the first time I'd done it, I was fifteen. I hadn't really thought about anything like that until this chick and I were at her house alone. Neither of us had anything else to do, and she knew I was rich, so, well. Let's just say that we started a short term relationship that revolved around me givin' her half my allowance so she could go do things. And that went on for a few months until she'd saved up the money to get all the shit she wanted." He frowned. He really hated that story. "Now you. First time?"

Kankri shook his head. "I don't think I can talk about it."

"Babe, it's me. It ain't gonna scare me away. I'll tell you about the next one." He cracked his neck. "I was seventeen the next time. He was older than me and I didn't really want to say no to him. I mean, fuck, he was _hot_. So he talked me into it. And then that one went pretty much like the last one. Gave I gave him money until he broke up with me, too. Well part of that was because he graduated." He sighed. "You?"

"Cronus I don't know."

"All right I only got one more, as embarrassin' as it is to say that, but I was almost eighteen, drunk and I ain't entirely sure if that one was a chick or not. I think so? But fuck I was _wasted_. But yeah that was a one night stand. Don't even know her fuckin' name." He leaned back on the couch. "Now it's your turn, Kan. What's your story?"

"I was very young and it was... How should I say this? It was not entirely a consensual experience."

Cronus looked right at him, his jaw slack and his brow furrowed together. "Babe? _What_?"

Kankri took a shaking breath and left it out. "I'm still not sure if I want to talk about this, Cronus."

"Babe I'm so fuckin' sorry. I didn't know that that was how shit was for you, okay?" He leaned a little closer to him. "I'm gonna give you a hug, is that okay?"

Kankri nodded. "I would not be opposed." Cronus wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly.

"I'm so sorry, babe." He rested his chin on his shoulder. "There anything I can do for you? Shit that sounds fuckin' stupid."

They stayed like that for a few moments until Kankri pulled away. "There's nothing you can do, Cronus, but to understand that this is an incredibly traumatic event for me."

Cronus swallowed hard. "Do you, maybe, wanna talk about it?"

Kankri's breathing was heavy and he wrapped his arms around himself. "It may be time to tell you, I suppose. Though know that I don't know if I'm entirely ready for this."

"It's okay, babe. Go ahead and take your time. I ain't gonna push you. Fuck you don't gotta tell me if you don't want to."

"No. I've only ever told Porrim and Sudhindra about this. I trust you, Cronus. I'm going to tell you."

"Okay, babe. I'm listenin'."

"All right." He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "When I was very, very young, my birth parents were unable to take care of me. They put me into foster care and I received letters from them with my first family. They read them to me until I left them when I was five. After that I stayed with a second family. They..." He swallowed. "They were kind for the first few years.

"On my eighth birthday, my foster father came to my room. He put his hand in my hair, and told me that I was a good boy." He shuddered a little. "Then he... He..." He wrapped his arms around his head. "He touched me, Cronus. He touched me and then he kissed the top of my head and he left. But before he did he just said "This is our little secret, Kankri. This is what sons and daddies do" and then he just _left me there_.

"I didn't know what to do, Cronus. This went on for _years_. I... I couldn't tell anyone. I thought that my foster parents would... I don't know what I thought anymore. It's all just a blur. But when I was ten..." He took another deep breath and let it out to calm himself. His voice was small and weak. "That's when it got so much worse. He went from just coming to my room and _touching_ to actually... To actually doing more. I still didn't know that there was something horrible going on, but I knew that somehow this was _wrong_.

"But it wasn't until I was twelve that I found out just what." He sounded like he was on the brink of tears. "I was in sixth grade. First quarter. It was sexual education. The teacher had gone through all of the technical aspects, and how exactly fertilization works. Then she had us write down questions for her. I only had one thing to say, but I didn't know how to say it. So all I wrote was..." He wrapped his arms more tightly around his head before continuing. "All I said was "My foster father is doing this to me." and then I wrote my name on it, hoping that she would say something.

"She did. The next day after class, she asked me to stay behind. She took me to the guidance councilor, and then the police were called. They were taken into custody and put on trial. Both of them were charged with multiple life sentences and I hope they rot in their fucking cells, Cronus. I really do." He looked up, his face contorted with rage. "I hate them."

Cronus couldn't help but stare open mouthed. He was dumbstruck by what Kankri had just told him. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Fuck, Kankri. That's... I don't know what to say to that."

Kankri still looked enraged. "You don't have to say anything. Just know that I _hate them._ I hate them more than anything in the world."

"Shit, Kan, I can't fuckin' blame you for hatin' that family."

"No. Not just them. I hate my biological parents for giving me up and not contacting me after I turned six. I hate my first foster family for not keeping me. I hate my second foster mother for not stopping _him_. I hate the other boys from that house for not _saying_ anything. I hate _him_ for doing that. And most of all, I hate _me_ for letting it happen."

"Babe, you were just a _kid_. You didn't know that that wasn't what was supposed to happen to you. Is it okay if I touch you?"

Kankri glowered at him. "No."

"All right, I won't then. Just know that I'm here for you, Kankri. Jesus fuckin' Christ, _I am here for you_. I promise that I'll do my best to never let anything like that happen to you again, all right? Fuck, even if someone just like touches your fuckin' shoulder wrong or looks at you funny, I will bash their fuckin' faces in."

Kankri smiled a little. "I appreciate the sentiment, Cronus, but, I don't feel that that would be a very productive means of cessation."

"Hey, I'd knock in skulls if you really wanted me to, babe." He shrugged. "Only if you want me to, though. Not gonna do nothin' you ain't game for, alright?"

Kankri smiled broadly and laughed a little. "Cronus, I hope you know that, as offensive as you may be, you are the only person that is not within my foster family who has been this... I don't have a word for this."

"Hey that's a first!" He laughed a little and Kankri scrunched his nose in disapproval. "Is it okay if I kiss you, Kan?"

Kankri sighed and thought about it. "Yes. It is."

Cronus leaned over and kissed him lightly, though he was surprised when Kankri deepened the kiss on his own. He brought one hand to his partner's face and put the other in his messy hair. They pulled apart after a few moments and he rested their foreheads together. He smiled. "Kan?"

"Yes Cronus?"

"I love you." He meant it this time. He didn't really think that he'd meant it the first time, and it was probably too soon to say that, but he didn't care. He smiled meekly.

"I love you, too, Cronus." He leaned up and gave him a chaste kiss.

"You know who I really want you to love, babe?"

He knitted his eyebrows together. "Who?"

He kissed him lightly again and smiled at him when they pulled apart. "You."


	34. Someone Different Changes the Subject

They stayed on the couch, arms wrapped around each other. Kankri could hardly believe that Cronus had taken everything so well. Though he'd never really told anyone about what had happened to him before, he had never expected anyone to want him to love himself. It was a difficult concept. He'd spent more than half of his life hating himself for this and he couldn't imagine _not_. He was willing to give it a try, though. He wanted to not hate so much, but at the same time he didn't want to let go of the rage he'd been holding onto for so many years.

Cronus's deep blue eyes were locked on his. "Babe?"

"Yes, Cronus?"

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes, I heard you, Cronus. I just. I've never really known how."

"Fuck I'll do my best to help you. Remember earlier when you said we'd support each other? Well I'm gonna support the fuck outta you, babe."

Kankri laughed a little. "Thank you, love." He kissed him. "I greatly appreciate it."

Cronus sighed. "I guess I should tell you about my scars?"

"Cronus, you don't have to do that. I told you because it felt like the thing to do. If you don't feel ready you don't have to. It seems like it's painful for you."

"Fuck, Kan, you had a worse break than me. I ain't got a fuckin' right to be such a depressed little fuck when you been through so much."

Kankri slapped him in the shoulder. "I'm sorry for striking, you Cronus, but do not speak about your depression that way! It does not matter who you are or what you have been through, depression is _depression_. No one has any more of a right than anyone else to be depressed. I don't know what you've been through, and you don't have to tell me."

"Babe don't worry about hittin' me that ain't a thing that really bothers me. And you really mean that?"

"Of course. It's something that everyone should know."

"God fuckin' dammit, I was supposed to be the one helpin' you here and now you're back to helpin' me. Babe, this ain't what I had in mind here!" He chuckled a little and kissed Kankri again. "But shit it feels like a good turn of events."

"I'm more than willing to help you."

"Fuck, babe, I know you are. But I feel like you need it more than I do. Mine's just stupid teenage drama bullshit."

"It doesn't matter if it makes you feel that way, though." Kankri moved a little closer and wrapped his arms around Cronus again. It was nice to take his mind off of his past. He never liked to think about it. He heard Cronus clear his throat.

"So, uh, I hate to bring this up, babe, but am I, like, your first actual _partner_ type person?"

Kankri exhaled sharply through his nose. "No, you're not. I've just never really felt this way with anyone else." He felt his face warm. "I had one partner that _wanted_ to do more with me than just kiss, but I was uncomfortable with it. They... Well let's just say that it was pleasant for no one and that I may have lashed out."

Cronus smirked. "Did you beat the shit outta someone?"

"I did not so much "beat the shit" out of them, as you put is, as I did bite their shoulder very, very hard. I actually drew blood. It was quite disconcerting."

"Babe, I think that's probably the fuckin' understatement of the century."

"Perhaps, though I barely remember doing it."

"Did they press fuckin' charges?"

"No, I believe that they were far too embarrassed that they were stopped in such a manner to have done that."

"Well I guess that's good." Cronus kissed him again. "I ain't gonna do nothin' like that to you. I know I've said that like eight hundred times already, but it's true."

"Thank you, Cronus."

"Don't mention it babe." Cronus yawned and Kankri realized that it had been a long day for both of them.

"Would you like to go to bed?"

"Uh, yeah I can go back to my room if you want me to I guess."

"No, no, no. You can stay here with me. That's okay."

"Kankri?"

"I just mean that we could, perhaps, sleep in the same bed. I am not implying that we will be doing anything past sleeping, though I would not be offended if you did not wish to do as such."

"Whoa shit I would be all over that. It okay if I go just brush my fuckin' teeth first?"

"Of course. I was going to do the same here."

"All right. I'll be back in a few then babe." He gave him a quick kiss and then went back to his room.

Kankri sat on the couch for a few moments after Cronus had left. He went to his room and and undressed, being sure to pull on an oversized shirt and a pair of flannel pants for bed. He brushed his teeth and looked in the mirror. He looked worn and haggard from their earlier talk and he was glad to be getting ready for bed. He was also honestly surprised that Cronus was as tired as he was. It was only ten, though it felt much later.

Once he'd finished brushing his teeth, he washed his face and ran his fingers through his hair. He was nervous. He'd never slept in a bed with another person before, but this felt like a logical step. And tonight he didn't want to be alone.

There was a knock at his door and he opened it. Cronus was there, still wearing his clothes. "Hey babe. I can come in?"

"Of course." He moved aside and let him in the room.

"You mind if I take these off?"

Kankri's eyes widened. "Pardon?"

"I sleep in my boxers, Kan. That okay? Or do you want me to go get a pair a sweat pants or somethin' like that?"

"Ah, no. That is acceptable." His face was still flushed as Cronus undressed. He sat on his bed and watched as he took off his clothes. His scars moved with him. It was honestly just strange to see him so exposed. Once he'd turned around, he spoke again. "Are you ready for bed, Cronus?"

"Yeah, sure. You just, uh, you just want me to like get in there with you?"

"That would be the idea here I believe." He looked at the light switch. "Would you mind turning off the lights before you join me, though?"

"Sure, babe, I got that." He went to the light switch and turned it out. He came back to the bed where Kankri was still sitting on the edge. "Babe?" He whispered.

"Yes?"

He smiled. "I need to get into the bed, yeah?"

"Oh, of course." Kankri moved under the comforter and moved close to the wall, letting Cronus slide in next to him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"Night, babe."

"Goodnight, Cronus."

They kissed and then did their best to sleep.

Little did they know, neither of them were able to sleep, but they were content just laying next to each other.


	35. Someone Different Blows an Opportunity

Kankri laid in Cronus's arms, tired but unable to sleep. The warmth from the other man was a strange presence and he wasn't sure if he liked it. He did know that he didn't _hate_ it, but at the same time the extra warmth was rather irritating. He looked up at Cronus. His partner wasn't sleeping either. "Cronus?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Neither of us seem to be as tired as we initially thought."

"That does seem to be the ca—!" Kankri cut him off with a deep kiss and rolled on to of him. He rested his hands on Cronus's scarred chest, digging his fingernails into his skin a little. He pulled away, panting a little. "What the _fuck_ was that, babe?" He sounded more confused than upset.

"I thought that, perhaps I could do something that would make us more tired, if you would not be offended."

"Babe, I would be as far from offended as they come if you did what ever the fuck you wanted right now."

"Then perhaps I could do what it was that I wanted to try earlier today?"

"I have no fuckin' clue what it was you were gonna do, babe, but you can do it if it'll make you happy."

Kankri smiled. "It will." He pushed the covers off of them and repositioned himself on Cronus's lap. He was nervous to do this. It was something that he'd never done before, and he wanted it to be something that he did when he felt he was ready. He still wasn't sure if he was ready, though.

He leaned down and kissed Cronus, their tongues lapping at each other as their lips moved. He could hear him making a contented humming noise in his throat ad they kissed and smiled, realizing that he was doing that to him. He pulled away from his mouth and moved down his neck, drawing a moan from his partner. It was so strange to be in control of this. And be with someone so willing to _let _him take control.

He moved from his neck to his chest, being careful not to kiss any of his scars so that he didn't have him stop.. He felt strong hands grip his hair and he tensed. He looked up at him. "Cronus?"

He was panting, his face flushed. "Yeah babe?"

"Please don't grab my hair like that. You can run your fingers through it, but please. Don't grab it."

"Of course, Kan." He loosened his grip, but scratched his scalp. "Hey babe?"

"Yes?"

"Do you, uh, wanna take off your shirt?"

He felt his face flush. "I'll take it off." He pulled the shirt over his head and threw it off the bed. He leaned back up and kissed Cronus. "Now were was I?" He moved back down his chest, sucking and nipping at his skin. When he reached his stomach, though, he didn't know if he should continue, but he did. He moved the the edge of Cronus's boxers and could feel his erection pressing against him. He grabbed the edge of his boxers and looked up. "I'm going to take these off of you. Is that okay?'

Cronus laughed, and then spoke, his voice husky. "Fuck yeah, babe. You do what you're gonna do."

Kankri pulled the boxers down and stared at what was in front of him. He took a deep breath and, eyes closed, brought his lips to the tip. He heard Cronus take in a shuddering breath as he kissed down the shaft. It was strange feeling the skin beneath his lips moving as he moved. It was strange to be doing this at all. He took a chance and licked up it experimentally. Cronus groaned appreciatively in response. He took another deep breath and kissed the tip again before taking it into his mouth.

He sucked on it lightly as he moved his hand on the shaft. He had no idea what it was he as doing, but the pleased noises that Cronus was making made him more confident to continue. He moved his head down a little past the tip but he could feel his teeth meeting flesh.

"Fuck, Kan! Watch your teeth!" He did his best to open his mouth more widely and to tuck his lips between the skin and his teeth. He could hear Cronus laughing.

He pulled away with a light popping sound and looked up at him, his brow furrowed. "I am very confused as to why you are laughing at this, Cronus."

"God, babe, you got the right kind of fuckin' mouth for this but you ain't got no clue what you're doin' do you?"

Kankri frowned a little, his jaw still sore. "I do not."

Cronus sat up and put a hand on one of Kankri's hunched shoulders. "You know, as much as I appreciate the gesture here, babe, you don't gotta do this."

"I'd..._like_ to try, though."

"And you just fuckin' did. And it was hot. Until I realized that you actually have no fuckin' clue what it is you're doin' at all."

Kankri sighed thinking about what Cronus had said. "What do you _mean_ I have the right kind of mouth for this?" He was almost offended by the statement.

"I just mean, like, you got these nice big, soft lips? And shit, you got a big mouth and you like usin' your tongue, so, you know, it just seems like somethin' that if you kept doin' it or practicin' you'd be good at it."

"And so you stopped me because I needed practice?" Now he was very confused.

"No I stopped you before you accidentally bit my fuckin' cock off. I would _not_ appreciate bein' castrated. Ever. Even by a hot guy blowin' me before bed."

"Cronus!"

"Hey it's true. Do you even, like, have any idea how to do this?"

Kankri sighed again and admitted, sheepishly, "No. I do not."

"Would you like me to show you how it's done?"

Suddenly Cronus looked like a predator. Just the way his face had changed scared him He didn't want him to touch him. He didn't want him there. He wanted him to go away.

"Whoa, what the fuck, Kan? What did I do?"

Cronus was holding his face and had moved back a little. He wasn't sure what had just happened. "I'm not sure. Explain yourself."

"Kan, you just fuckin' hit me and shouted that you _hate _me. What the _fuck_ did I do?" He continued to rub at his cheek.

"I... I'm sorry, Cronus. This was a bad idea. I shouldn't have tried to do this."

"Babe, calm down. Do you remember hittin' me at all?"

"No..."

"See it's fine. I just did somethin' to scare you. I ain't sure what it _was_, but you were just scared. So I'm just gonna stay here until you calm down. But, uh, I might go into the lounge and take care of my little friend here. That okay?"

"I suppose that that would be acceptable. Please do not make a mess."

"Hey I'll take some Kleenex with me, babe. You just calm down, okay? And know that whatever it was that scared you is in your head, okay? I ain't gonna hurt you." He grabbed a box of tissues and went into the lounge.

Kankri could barely believe that he'd done any of that. From taking control that way, to apparently hitting Cronus in the face. He felt ashamed of himself. He grabbed his shirt off of the floor and put it back on. As he did he realized that he was probably just taking things too fast. It was all too much too soon. He wasn't going to try that again for some time.

He realized that the could go into the lounge and help Cronus, but at the same time he didn't know if he wanted to.

He was felling torn. Nothing had prepared him for anything like this. He'd never hurt the people that he'd loved. He didn't want to hurt Cronus like that. He didn't want to hit him. He didn't want his relationship to be like that.

He took a deep breath and vowed to work through this. For himself. So that he didn't have to be afraid of hurting anyone because he was angry at the world.

That was the day that Kankri Vantas had made up his mind.


	36. A New Man Drives in the Night

Cronus sat in the lounge thinking about what had just happened in Kankri's room. He felt terrible for laughing at him, but at the same time a bad blow job was not a comfortable experience. He'd loved the feeling of those soft lips wrapped around him, but his teeth scraping that way was pretty terrible.

He rubbed at where he'd been scraped, though it was still sore. He threw his arms over the back of the couch and threw his head back. All he really wanted was to get off or to have a cigarette. And at this stage it didn't really look like either were going to happen.

He sat like that for a while before deciding to just get it over with, pain or not. It was going to feel better than sitting there. He grabbed one of the tissues and tried to go through the paint, but it was still too sore to touch. Deciding to just suck it up, he went back into Kankri's room. His partner was sitting at his desk, fervently typing. Cronus went to the bed and pulled on his boxers and then over to the side of the room to pull on his pants. He tripped over something with a shout as he grabbed them.

"Cronus? I didn't hear you come back."

He hobbled over to the bed and sat down. "Uh, yeah. I tried not to make any noise in case you were sleepin' or somethin' like that." He hissed tucking himself into his pants, realizing that his tight pants did not mix well with unrelieved lust.

"I did not intend to sleep just yet, Cronus." His voice sounded a little pained.

"Kan, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Cronus. Have you taken care of yourself?"

"Ah, no. I couldn't really so I'm gonna go back to my room and grab some cigs, then maybe take a nice long walk. You wanna come with me, maybe?"

"I suppose that I could join you. Would you allow me to finish this essay first?"

Cronus smirked. "Is that an essay or a blog post, babe?"

Kankri scrunched his nose. "It's an essay. It's the one that I was working on earlier today."

Cronus looked over at the clock. "In all technicality, Kan, it's the one you were workin' on _yesterday_. It's like quarter after twelve, already."

"Is it? I hadn't noticed." He moved from the desk and sat next to Cronus. "Although I do not usually partake in late night walks, I would like to join you."

"All right, sweet! You finish that up and I'm just gonna get dressed and maybe grab my cigs. I'll be back in a little bit." He leaned over the head of the bed toward Kankri. "Can I get a kiss before I start my long and tumultuous journey, darlin'?" He smiled.

"Cronus, do you truly wish for me to kiss you after what has just transpired?"

"What?" He thought about it, but he couldn't see see why he wouldn't want a kiss. It wasn't like he came in his mouth and, fuck, he wouldn't have cared if he _had_. "Babe I don't give a fuck about that."

"Really?"

"Uh, yeah. It's just another part a me, babe. Ain't like you were eatin' trash or nothin' yeah?"

"I suppose." Kankri leaned over and kissed him. He tasted extra minty, like he'd just brushed his teeth.

"Did you just go through all that even after you just brushed your teeth again?"

"Perhaps."

He laughed a little. "Babe that is so fuckin' cute." He got off the bed. "I'm gonna go get my cigs. I'll be right back."

"As you wish."

"Back in a few." Cronus grabbed his shirt and pulled it on as he left the room. He walked to his own room, his jeans still rubbing painfully against him. He opened his door and walked inside. He could hear noises coming from the lounge and realized that his suite mate must have his girlfriend over. That was a gross thought. It really was hard to imagine someone wanting to fuck that guy, even if he was cute in a really damaged kind of way.

He put that thought to the back of his head and grabbed the jacket he'd been wearing earlier. He pulled it on and then slipped into his boots. He heard screaming coming from the lounge. He _really_ didn't want to know anymore about what was happening in there. For as tough as his talk was, sex honestly still made him a little uncomfortable to think about when other people were the ones having it. He left the room, not even bothering to check his hair before he did.

He walked quickly to Kankri's room and opened the door without knocking. He was sitting at his computer, though he was wearing the clothes he'd had on at dinner. He looked up at the door closing. "Do you mind, Cronus? I could have been in the middle of changing my clothing! How _dare_ you enter my room without knocking!"

"Whoa, sorry babe! I figured it'd be cool since I told you I'd be right back." He scratched the back of his neck. He really never could be sure what was going to upset Kankri.

"I suppose that that is understandable."

"So, uh, you finished with that essay?"

"Nearly. I just have to add in my closing statement and save it."

"Okay, cool. I'll just wait for you then." He sat on the bed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He may as well check his blog while he was waiting.

Nothing new was there, though some of the porn blogs had posted some new videos and gifs. He didn't think that looking through them was really a wise idea with his raging boner, though. He closed out of his blog and opened up Facebook. No one ever really contacted him on there anymore, but it was fun to see what those shit heads were up to. Most of his friends had gone to local tech schools or community colleges. He'd gone hundreds of miles away. Or what felt like hundreds. If he was being honest it was really only about eighty or ninety, and that was well within driving distance.

He chuckled to himself over some of the ridiculous things his friends from high school were posting. None of them had really seemed to have changed, though it made sense. It had only been a few months since they'd graduated. But he soon grew bored of looking at what stupidity they were up to and put his phone back in his pocket. After all, if none of them were going to contact him, then why should he even bother thinking about them? He looked back over at Kankri who was reading what was on his screen. "You ready to go yet, babe?"

"I'm nearly finished. I just need to make sure that I don't have any typographical errors before sending this off."

"You can always send it when we get back. It ain't like it's due right now."

"No, it's not, but I would prefer to have it turned in before it's actually due."

"When _is _it due?"

"Sunday by five in the evening."

"Okay then proofread it when you get up tomorrow. You'll be more brainy then anyway, I'm sure."

"I suppose." He saved the paper and shut down his laptop. "Are you ready then?"

"I sure am babe. Let's get goin' on our little adventure."

They left the room and walked to the door of the building. It didn't look like there was anyone outside, so Cronus grabbed Kankri's hand as they exited the building. "Cronus!" Kankri pulled his hand away indignantly.

"What is it, babe? It's not like there's anyone around."

"I just do not feel comfortable with the possibility of someone _seeing_ us."

"Seriously?"

"Yes Cronus. Seriously."

"All right, babe, whatever makes you comfortable." He pulled out a cigarette and put it in his mouth.

"Are you going to smoke that?"

He pulled his matchbook out of his pocket and lit the cigarette before answering. "Uh, yeah babe. That's why I'm takin' a walk."

Kankri frowned. "I suppose that I did agree to come with you on your smoker's walker."

"You sure as fuck did, babe!" He laughed, letting the smoke leave his lungs as he did.

"So where did you plan on walking this evening, Cronus?"

"Well there are these woods back behind the suites that I thought we could check out. Pretty sure I saw a path goin' through 'em if you wanna go."

"That could be nice. Though isn't it rather late to go down an unfamiliar path?"

"That's half the fuckin' fun, babe!"

"I'm not sure how I feel about this, Cronus."

"Would you rather go for a drive after I finish this cigarette? We could just drive until we get tired if you really want."

Kankri thought briefly. "I suppose that we could do that."

"All right babe. You wanna check out those woods tomorrow, though? I did wanna see how they looked. Maybe see if they could inspire my songs at all."

"That would be quite enjoyable."

"All right cool!" He took a long drag from his cigarette and threw it to the ground, digging it in with his heel. Kankri made a face at his actions. "What is it, babe?"

"Are you just going to leave that on the _ground_, Cronus?"

"That was the plan."

"You should pick that up and throw it away."

"Really babe? You're gonna make me pick it up?"

"Yes."

"Okay fine." He crouched down and picked up the crushed butt, looking for a garbage can as he did. He saw one near his car. "Oh hey, what luck. There's a can by my car!"

"See, it was meant to be."

"Ah, yeah, yeah." He tossed it in can and unlocked his car. "Now," they got in and he started it up as he spoke, "let's get this adventure goin', babe." He pulled out and began driving. He knew that there was an overlook somewhere. He'd looked for it between classes one day to see if it was in a decent location. He more or less remembered where it was, but he didn't want Kankri to realize it if he got lost.

Fortunately, he recognized the streets and managed to make his way there without any problems. He parked, noticing that there were no other cars as he did so.

Kankri spoke first. "I thought you said that we were going on an adventure?"

"I decided to make a pit stop. That okay?"

He fidgeted with his sleeves. "I suppose."

Cronus noticed the dark spot on Kankri's neck and smiled. "Babe I didn't think you'd show off that hickey on your neck like that."

"What?"

"I left a bit of a hickey on you."

"_What_?"

Cronus leaned in and kissed the spot. "There."

"Oh dear." Kankri rubbed the spot. "I suppose that I forgot about that."

He laughed. "Babe, you are just the cutest fuckin' thing, I swear." He turned off the car and stared at Kankri, clicking his tongue.

"What are you doing that for, Cronus?"

"Doing what?"

"With your tongue."

"Oh, uh, I was just wonderin' if maybe you wanted to make out a little in the back seat."

His face flushed darkly and he looked out the side window. "I suppose that we _could_, though if anyone else were to come along, then we should probably stop."

"Aw, why you gotta be that way? It ain't like they wouldn't be doin' the same thing in another car."

"_Cronus._"

"Okay fine we'll stop if they do."

"Thank you, love."

"It's nothin', babe." He leaned over and kissed him. "Now, you wanna stay up here, or you wanna go in the back seat?"

"I am fine here."

"All right, babe." Cronus climbed over the gear-shift and straddled Kankri's legs. Once positioned, he began kissing him deeply again. He felt a thrill go through him when Kankri deepened the kiss, moaning into his mouth as he did. Cronus put his arms on either side of the head rest and pulled away from his partner's mouth. "I didn't expect you to be okay with this."

Kankri laughed a little and looked away. "I honestly didn't expect myself to be okay with anything like ."

"I'm glad you are, though." He smiled.

It really was unexpected for Kankri to be all right with this, especially being below him, but he wanted to try something with him, and he really hoped that he enjoyed it.


	37. Someone Different Gets His Mind Blown

Kankri was feeling a little crushed by Cronus, but he felt that it was somewhat enjoyable with him kissing and nipped at his neck. His hands had moved beneath his sweater and were running over flesh. He felt a finger run over his nipple and made a face.

Cronus pulled away. "Somethin' wrong, babe?"

"I am just... Not sure how I feel about that."

"Oh, sorry. I guess you don't know until you try, yeah?" He gave him a quick kiss.

"I suppose. It just was not very enjoyable."

"Oh shit, babe, then I ain't gonna do that again. I only wanna do things that are gonna make you make those cute little noises." He bit at his neck lightly and Kankri couldn't contain a small moan. "Yeah, babe. Those noises." He kissed the spot that he'd bitten then leaned back, having to crane his neck to keep from hitting his head against the roof of the car. He pulled his jacket off and threw it to the side. "You mind if I take your sweater off?"

Kankri closed his eyes. "I suppose you may."

Cronus grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it over his head, exposing the fact that he hadn't put his shirt on under his sweater before they'd gone out. The taller man just smirked as he threw in to the side with his own jacket. He leaned back to his level, and kissed down his neck, sucking lightly as he went. He moved from Kankri's lap to the floor, kissing down his chest, and dragging his tongue lightly over a nipple. Kankri squeaked and he could feel Cronus laughing against his skin as he moved further down. "Cronus, what are you doing?"

"Well, babe, I was plannin' on showin' you how this was done."

"What?"

Cronus chuckled from his spot on the floor. "You heard me." He kissed Kankri's waist near the hem of his pants. He unzipped his pants and put his mouth against the cotton front of Kankri's underwear, feeling him get hard,

"Cronus! What do you think you're doing?"

Cronus gave the fabric a playful lick and looked up at Kankri. "What's it _look _like I'm doin', babe?"

"It looks as if you are performing... rather intimate actions on me and I fear that if you continue I may have to pro—!" He gave a shuddering moan as Cronus sucked lightly on his tip through the fabric. His breath hitched and then he started panting. "Cronus..." He managed to get out the name through his pants.

Cronus looked up at him and he pulled away, smirking. "Yeah, babe?"

He whined at the sudden rush of cold on his erection. "I was going to ask you not to stop."

"Oh I didn't plan on it, babe." He put his hand into Kankri's underwear and pulled him out, rubbing a little at the tip before moving his head to the base and licking up the shaft, keeping his eyes locked on Kankri's.

Kankri couldn't believe that this was happening at all. That someone would want to do this to _him_. He'd honestly always seen the act as rather degrading, though he realized that he'd attempted the same thing earlier, but he still didn't know why Cronus would want to do this. His tongue was hot against his skin. It lapped against the tip and then Cronus took him in his mouth.

It was, as Cronus would have put it, _hot_.

Cronus continued to stare up at him as he bobbed his head slowly. He could feel as he flattened his tongue, taking in more of him. He gave a shuddering gasp as Cronus started bobbing faster, sucking lightly at the tip as he moved. His partner began to hum as he moved down his erection, still watching him.

Kankri could feel heat coiling in his abdomen. He'd never really done anything like this for himself, even with his hands, and the heat from his partner's mouth was unbearable. "_Cronus_!" His voice was shaking as he came in the man's mouth.

Cronus pulled off, coughing as he swallowed. He wiped his mouth then chuckled. "That sure was fast, babe." He smirked up at Kankri.

"I'm terribly sorry, Cronus." He was winded. He'd never felt anything like that. "That was very...intense."

"Sorry, babe. Was that too much?"

Kankri laughed. "No. No, love that was... I don't have any other words for it."

"You okay?" Cronus rubbed at his thighs.

"Yes. I'm fine. Please come up here." Cronus climbed back on top of his lap. He could feel his erection pressing against his stomach. "Cronus..."

"Yeah, babe?"

"You're still rather," he paused on the word, "_aroused_, aren't you?"

"Of course I am babe."

He leaned up and kissed him. He tasted strangely salty and a little bitter. He realized that that was probably the taste of his own semen. Cronus deepened the kiss and he could feel as his arousal continued to press into his stomach. He pulled away with a small moan. "Would you like me to help you with that again?"

"You don't gotta babe."

He put his hand on the front of his jeans and unzipped them slowly. "Cronus I want to try doing this for you."

"Babe you don't gotta if you don't wanna. You looked fuckin' scared as shit when you tried to suck me off earlier." Kankri reached his hand into Cronus pants, stroking his erection through his boxers. The material was silky and cool to the touch, though he could feel the heat emanating from Cronus beneath. "God, babe that's fuckin' perfect." He slipped his hand into the boxers, using the fluid leaking from his tip as lubrication to move faster. Cronus groaned, muttering expletives under his breath. He leaned up and kissed him deeply, feeling him moan into his mouth as he picked up the pace and rubbed his thumb against the tip.

He broke the kiss apart and tried _talking_, as he remembered that Cronus said he liked. "Are you enjoying this, Cronus?" He hummed in affirmation. "You want me to move faster? Or do you want me to just keep going... slowly?" He moved his hand as slowly as he could to still get Cronus to moan. He shuddered a little on his lap and Kankri took it as his cue to grip a little harder. Cronus dropped his head onto his shoulder. "Can you take anymore, Cronus? Do you want me to keep doing this?" He felt Cronus bite his shoulder, making him hiss and let out a shuddering breath. He felt Cronus come with a long moan, covering his hand and stomach in sticky fluid.

Cronus sat there, breathing hard. "Babe, that was ridiculously fuckin' _hot_. I did not think you had it in you."

Kankri smiled. "I didn't think I did either."

Cronus hummed contentedly against his shoulder. "Babe the way you _talk_. I can not believe that _filth_ goin' past your sweet lips."

Kankri could feel himself blushing. "I suppose that I should take that as a compliment?"

"Yeah babe, that is a great fuckin' compliment. I ain't one to compliment and not mean it, neither. I only give 'em out when someone earns them." Cronus sat up and kissed Kankri tenderly, moving at a lazy pace. Their tongues moved against each other, the taste of semen and smoke mixing in a strangely pleasant way.

Cronus stayed on top of him once they'd pulled apart, their foreheads resting against each other. "Cronus?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"This has been a strange yet highly enjoyable day."

"Fuck yeah it has been, babe." He kissed him lightly. "This is nice, though. Not as cold as I thought it would be here either." He kissed him again. "Or maybe that's just you warmin' me up with your hot little body."

Kankri laughed. "Oh I beg to differ, love. I feel that it is you warming _me_ up."

"Whatever, babe. This is just nice." He smiled.

Kankri had to agree with him, but they were both too tired to move. A short nap couldn't hurt anyone, right? He felt himself drift off to sleep, his partner's warmth enveloping him.


	38. A New Man Finally Sleeps

A knock on the window shocked Cronus awake. He looked to the sound and saw what looked like a cop. He turned the key to run on battery power and rolled down his window. "Is there a problem, officer?"

The cop frowned. "Sir, I'm afraid that you and your girlfriend are going to have to put your clothes back on and get yourselves home. I don't wanna have to write you up now, ya hear?"

He dropped his tough guy act and tried to smooth things over. "I completely understand officer. We'll be on our way as soon as we're no longer in such a compromising position. Is that okay?" He was doing his best to hide Kankri from the cop. He didn't want his partner to be mortified by being seen.

"It sure is, young man. Now get yourself dressed and get _home_. If you're still here when I get back, then I'm going to have to give you a ticket for indecent exposure."

"I understand, officer. We'll be gone." He gave his best charming smile as the officer left. Once the officer was gone, he rolled the window back up and looked at the car clock. It was six in the morning. They'd been asleep up there for _hours_. He didn't care, though. It was worth it. Though the pain in his legs from the way he'd been sitting was less than enjoyable. He leaned down and kissed Kankri to wake him up. "Good morning, babe."

Kankri's eyes fluttered awake and he groaned a little before speaking. "Cronus? What _time_ is it?"

"It's like 6a.m., babe."

"_What_? How did we sleep so long?"

Cronus kissed him again. "It was because we had a good time last night." He kissed his neck. "Now let's get outta here and actually sleep in a bed. Sound good?"

Kankri hummed happily. "That sounds perfect."

"Cool beans, babe." He sat up and grabbed Kankri's sweater from the driver's side. "Put this on, babe. We wouldn't want anyone bein' offended by all these little bite marks on your chest." He smirk as he moved back to the driver's side, sweater in hand. He threw it onto Kankri's lap.

"What do you mean by bite marks?" He looked down at himself and Cronus couldn't help but to chuckle at Kankri's surprised face. "_Cronus_!"

"What is it, babe? I didn't hear you complainin' when you were gettin' those."

"Cronus, I have a physical education class this semester."

"Yeah, so?"

"_So_, I'll be _swimming_ this week!"

Cronus smirked. "Well then I guess your classmates'll know that you've been getting' busy with someone sexy." He winked.

"How very self-obsessed."

"Aw don't be that way, babe!" He leaned over, kissing him deeply.

"Ugh, Cronus, you taste disgusting."

He frowned. "Now that ain't very nice! You've gotta gimme a break after our little tryst last night."

Kankri laughed. "I suppose since you used such a good word that I'll let your horrible morning breath not be seen as offensive to me; however you should know that it is quite the offending flavor."

Cronus turned the ignition over. "I'll keep that in mind, babe. But I think you're the only one that's gonna have to worry about that taste in my mouth."

Kankri pulled his sweater on over his head. "I should hope that I'm the only one that would have to worry about it."

"Well I guess _one_ other person'll have to worry about it."

Kankri frowned. "Oh, and who would _that_ be?"

"It's me, babe." He chuckled. When they stopped at a set of lights, Cronus tucked himself back into his pants and zipped back up, noticing an apparent stain on his shirt. "Oh shit, babe, we maybe a mess last night."

"_We_? I believe it was you who ejaculated and made such a mess."

"Me, babe? Need I remind you that you were completely responsible for that, what with your winy hands and your dirty, dirty mouth." He winked as they pulled through the lights back toward the dorms.

Kankri glared at him. "I'm not entirely sure if I approve of what it is you're implying here, Cronus."  
"I ain't implyin' nothin' that hasn't proven itself to be true, babe." He winked again.

Kankri's jaw tightened. "I feel that you are using rather triggering language"

"Am I triggerin' you?"

"Well no."

"Then there ain't no problem. Right, babe?"

They pulled into a spot as Kankri made an irritated sound by biting his lip and inhaling deeply. "I suppose. I just wish that you would watch what you say."

He smiled as they got out, tugging his jacket over his shoulders. "So you wanna go take a nice long nap then?"

"A nap does sound quite enjoyable."

Cronus looked around and didn't see anyone. It was way too early for any self-respecting college student to be up, so he slung his arm around Kankri's shoulders. "Then maybe we'll take a nice long nap," he yawned at length, "Whoa shit, sorry. But we should take a nice long nap and then when we get up we can get some lunch. Or we could just lay around all day and be lazy." They entered the building and walked towards Kankri's room. "Or I suppose we could just stay inside and maybe, well," Kankri opened his door and they went inside, "just make-out all day or something."

Kankri laughed once through his nose. "Maybe we should get some sleep first."

"Yeah babe that sounds good."

"Now let's get ready for bed again." Kankri pulled his sweater over his head and put his hand on the dried patch on his stomach, making a face. "Cronus, love, you really _did_ make a mess of me..."

"Hey, sorry about that. I wasn't expecting you to do that." He kissed behind the shorter man's ear then stripped off his own clothes. "Now let's get some fuckin' sleep. I am dead tired."

"Cronus you really shouldn't use such terminology; you may trigger someone dealing with the death of a loved one."

"Yeah I'll keep that in mind, babe. But for now, let's just sleep." He stretched and climbed into the bed, followed shortly by Kankri. The Pakistani man nuzzled into his shoulder and yawned. "Goodnight, babe." He leaned down and gave him a goodnight kiss, glad to finally be getting some real sleep.

"Goodnight, love."

They lay with their arms wrapped around each other, the sound of birds chirping lulling them quickly to sleep.


	39. A New Man Wakes Up

Cronus woke up before Kankri and looked at the clock on the desk. It was nearly ten, and he still felt like he hadn't slept much at all. He kissed the top of Kankri's head and moved over him, doing his best not to wake him up. It was apparent that his partner wasn't used to late nights or broken sleep, as he didn't so much as stir, even when he landed on the ground with a thump. He pulled himself up off the floor and looked at himself in the mirror. He grimaced when he realized that his hair was completely mussed and that it pomade had dried it that way.

He rubbed his eyes, wondering why they itched so much and then remembered that he hadn't taken out his contacts before sleeping. He sighed as he dressed and left Kankri a note letting him know that he was going to be taking a shower. He went to his room, fumbling down the hallway. It was frustrating not being able to see, and he realized that he probably look completely wasted as he stumbled, but it was a short trip and it was Saturday, so who even fucking cared?

He looked at the number on the door in front of him and thought that it looked right. He opened the door, glad that he hadn't locked it the night before. He walked inside and was incredibly confused. "This ain't my room..." He muttered as he closed the door and looked at the number. 107_B_. He'd gone into Mituna's side of the room. He went to his side and opened the door. He entered and grabbed his glasses off his desk. He felt a little more human being able to see at least. He grabbed his shower gear, a towel and his glasses case, put on his shower sandals, and then went to the showers.

He washed himself off quickly then wrapped his towel around his waist. He made his way back to his room, dried off, and dressed. He realized that if he wanted to make it back before Kankri woke up, he'd have to go without fixing his hair. He dried it as best as he could with his towel instead and put his glasses back on. It was strange to see himself without his hair slicked back. It just made him look so... Modern. He didn't really like it. He grabbed his comb and his pomade; if he couldn't slick it back in his room, he'd do it in Kankri's.

He made his way back down the hall, singing a song under his breath. He knocked lightly on Kankri's door, waited for a few moments and opened the door. He was surprised to see Kankri not just awake, but taking care of his morning wood. Cronus raised his eyes and cleared his throat. "Hey, Kan."

Kankri looked over to the door, eyes wide and jaw dropped. "Who?! _Cronus_! How many times have I asked you not to come in without _knocking_!"

Cronus chuckled. "I guess now I know why you said that in the first place, but I _did_ knock. I came in 'cause I thought you were just sleepin' still."

Kankri tucked himself back into his pants, though it was obvious that he didn't really want to. "Although I do appreciate that you knocked, even if I didn't _hear_ you, I would _greatly _appreciate it if you waited until I answered the door to let you in!"

"Hey, whatever you say, babe." He sat on the bed next to him and raised his eyebrows. "Did you really not realize it was me when I came in?"

"I am not accustomed to seeing your hair like this. I must say that it is quite different."

Cronus ran his fingers through his hair and pushed it back, frustrated that it kept falling in his face. "Yeah, I can't say I really _like _leavin' my room like this. It makes me feel naked."

Kankri smiled, his face flushing more than it already was. "I think that it looks nice. Do you mind if I touch your hair? I've never felt it without your product in it."

Cronus shrugged. "Uh, sure." He leaned over, letting Kankri run his fingers though his hair. His partner smiled. "Was it everything you'd dreamed of and more?"

"It's just so soft..."

"Your hair's plenty soft, too, babe."

"No, your hair is definitely softer than mine." He kept his fingers in his hair and kissed Cronus. "I wish that you did not feel so uncomfortable with your hair styled this way. I think that it looks quite fetching on you."

"Thanks babe, I'm glad you think so."

Kankri kissed him lightly again. "No I mean it. I like your glasses as well."

Cronus smirked. "Babe do you have a thing for nerds? Because if that's what gets you goin' then I can dress like this more often."

Kankri rolled his eyes. "_No_, Cronus. I simply think that you look more respectable when you're wearing your glasses."

"Oh, you think so?" He ran his fingers through his hair and brushed his hand against Kankri's. "Guess I'll keep that in mind if I ever need more respect." He kissed Kankri deeply and hummed contentedly in his throat. He moved his hands into Kankri's hair and leaned over him a little. He put the hand not in Kankri's shoulder on the bed to hold himself up.

Kankri made a keening sound but pulled away. "Cronus, I have to do my homework and so do you!"

"Yeah, yeah." He kissed Kankri's neck, but was pushed away.

"I'm serious! I have to proofread my floor report and you still have to write that paper for Geography, do you not?"

"I guess." He pushed his hair back, but it fell back into his face again. "I don't really want to do it."

"No one _really_ wants to do it, but everyone has to do it at some point. Do you want to flunk out?"

"Actually I didn't even want to come here. I'm just here because my dad said he'd cut me off if I didn't go to school and next semester he wants me to get a job." He frowned and brought his knees to his chest. "I honestly just wanted to, like, concentrate on my music, you know? But my old man said that if I didn't go to school that I'd be wastin' my life on somethin' that didn't even matter." He shrugged a shoulder. "It don't feel like a waste to me, though, so I really don't get it at all."

Kankri furrowed his brow. "I'm sorry, Cronus. I... I didn't know."

"Nah, Kan, it's fine. I mean I'm here for Studio Recording, so it's kinda like what I wanted to do, only not quite as cool." He shrugged. "It just means that eventually I'll be usin' the pro-level equipment for free, uh, kinda. And that's pretty fuckin' cool. Just wish I coulda gone off and made more music first."

"Well an education is a very important thing in your life."

"Yeah I guess. But do I really need to be _educated_ about somethin' that's, like, all trial and error and personal preference?"

""I suppose not, but it's always nice to have guidelines."

Cronus shrugged again and plopped onto Kankri's lap. "Maybe. Like I guess you gotta know the fuckin' rules to break 'em or whatever." He nuzzled into his partner's lap, feeling that he was still hard. "But I don't wanna think about that shit right now. I just wanna stay here with you and maybe get some food." He smirked. "Unless you'd like me to help you with this?" He rubbed one hand against the shorter man's groin.

Kankri cleared his throat nervously. "Ah, no. I'm quite all right. I am perfectly fine leaving my erection alone. I have lead a celibate existence for long enough that this won't bother me at all."

Cronus shrugged. "Suit yourself, babe. You sure were enjoyin' it last night." He chuckled as he made himself more comfortable on his lap.

"Cronus," Kankri sighed before continuing, "if you wish to get food, you are going to have to move."

"Yeah, babe I will." He was suddenly very tired again. "Think I could maybe just," he yawned, "lay here for a little while? I'm still pretty fuckin' beat, babe."

Kankri frowned. "I suppose, but I hope you realize that it's nearly noon."

"I don't fuckin' care I just wanna stay here with you."

Kankri's eyebrows raised. "You do?"

"Of course I do." He smiled as he closed his eyes and smiled, dreamily. "I fuckin' love you." He wrapped his arms possessively around Kankri's waist. "I really do, Kan."

"I love you, too, Cronus."

With that Cronus fell asleep. He didn't care that he'd already slept some. He was tired, and Kankri was the best pillow.


	40. Someone Different Is Not Amused

Kankri was frustrated that Cronus would simply fall asleep on him, but at the same time it was nice to see his face so calm. He didn't usually see him with some kind of snarky look on his face. He just looked... younger. Like he was still a boy instead of a man. He ran his fingers through his soft hair, rubbing his scalp as he did. With Cronus on his lap like this, he couldn't move much, but he could reach his desk and managed to pull his laptop, which was fortunately still plugged in, and rested it on Cronus's shoulder.

He opened it and started to proof read his paper, being sure to remove any potentially offensive material from it. Once he was satisfied with it, he put into into the Dropbox for the Fresh person Advisers. He went to his blog and looked to see if new offensive posts had cropped up in his tracked tags, but didn't feel that he really had a right to chastise anyone for crude behavior after the night before. He sighed and instead just looked through pictures of cats. At least the felines remained mostly unoffensive.

Cronus shifted in his sleep, muttering to himself. Kankri looked down and tried to figure out what he was talking about. "...no, don't... the pineapple..." He chuckled as Cronus continued his senseless muttering.

He checked to see just what he had to do for homework and realized that he didn't have anything else that needed to be done right away. Which wasn't surprising. What was surprising was that he'd already done the next two weeks worth of work. He sighed and went back to looking through pictures of cats. Perhaps they would make it easier to deal with just having to sit there while his slept.

He noticed a message on Skype from Porrim.

_So+ did yo+u and Cro+nus have an enjo+yable night last night?_

_I'm not entirely sure what it is that you're insinuating._

_Do+n't play co+y, Kanny. Yo+u kno+w exactly what I mean._

_No. I have no clue what it is that you are implying and I am ashamed of you for implying that anything of any nature may have happened at all._

_Really, Kanny, do+n't play dumb. Even Sudhindra co+uld tell that yo+u two+ were dating and he's as o+blivio+us as you are. No+t to+ mentio+n that rather apparent hickey on yo+ur blatantly unco+vered neck._

_You're making no sense, Porrim. There is no such thing on my neck. Perhaps you simply saw what you wanted to see._

_No+, I saw a hickey. O+n yo+ur neck._

_Perhaps it was simply a memory of one that you had seen on yourself earlier?_

_No+, Kankri. And yo+u sho+uld watch yo+ur step o+r I'll be making yo+u a sweater. No+w tell yo+ur favo+rite fo+ster sister if yo+uv'e bro+ken yo+ur vo+w yet._

_PORRIM. That is extremely rude to ask!_

_Kankri I have an image set aside fo+r the day you finally do+ break it, so+ I need yo+u to tell me. I'd hate to+ send it o+ff prematurely._

_I don't even want to know what it is that you have for me. And if you'll pardon the vulgarity, I would like to kindly ask you to "fuck off" please._

_Yo+u kno+w that fuck o+ff lacks any impact when yo+u tack o+n a please, do+n't yo+u?_

_Then allow me to rephrase myself without the pleasantries: Fuck off._

_O+h I'm so+ pro+ud o+f yo+u. Yo+u're swearing like an adult! No+ quo+tatio+n marks o+r anything!_

_Porrim._

_Then allo+w me to+ simply send yo+u this image prematurely as I'm sure that yo+u didn't co+mpletely avo+id do+ing so+mething last night. Yo+u and Cro+nus lo+o+ked fairly co+mfo+rtable as yo+u left the restaurant._

_Porrim please stop._

_No+ I'm go+ing to send it_

He scowled when he received a file download, but he knew that he couldn't just deny it. So he accepted the file titled simply "_co+ngrats_" and scowled when he opened it.

_Haha, very funny. You made me laugh SO very hard just now. I'm sure that you could hear it perched in whatever horrible place you're at._

_I just tho+ught yo+u'd appreciate it seeing as no+ o+ne but me is privy to the realtio+nship between the two+ o+f you._

_I'm logging off, Porrim._

_Do+n't be that way, Kanny. Lo+o+k, yo+u've shamed me eno+ugh, I tho+ught it high time that I co+ngratulated yo+u._

_No. I'm really logging off. Cronus fell asleep here and is starting to wake up. I'll talk to you later._

_All right, Kanny. Ta._

_Goodbye, Porrim._

With his goodbyes out of the way, he shut down his computer and put it to the side. Cronus had begun to stir and he didn't want him to get burnt on his laptop. It was notorious for getting too warm, and he'd burnt himself on several occasions. Cronus looked up at him. "Kan? Kan, babe, how long have I been asleep?"

Kankri laughed shortly. "I'm sorry, but I'm not Kankri. I'm his great, grandson. You've been asleep for forty years."

Cronus frowned. "Kan I ain't fuckin' stupid. If I'd _really_ been asleep that long you would've taken me to a hospital. Or at least rearranged some."

"I didn't expect you to take that one seriously." He smiled at him.

Cronus leaned up onto his elbows. "Babe I just realized that you are a huge dweeb."

"I may be a dweeb, but you chose me." It felt strange to say that, but it wasn't a bad strange. He leaned down and kissed him. "And if you did not enjoy the act that I was a dweeb, you wouldn't be here."

Cronus raised his eyebrows and they went under his fallen hair. "Oh, Mr. Vantas, was that a "But you like it" in far more words than need?"

"Possibly."

"Babe, I think it's adorable what a huge dork you are and I'm glad that you put up with the shit that I put you through." He returned the kiss. "But seriously how fuckin' long have I been sleepin'? I feel like my arm is fuckin' on _fire_."

"That may be my fault. I was using you as a desk while you slept on my lap."

"Why I never!" He chuckled playfully as Kankri's expression turned grim. "Babe don't fuckin' worry about it. You can use me any way you want any day." He made a face. "I feel like that might not have come out so hot."

"It didn't."

"Well fuck me runnin' then. Sorry about that."

"Cronus, that was not entirely the way you meant for it to sound either."

"Uh, no that one was exactly what it was supposed to be." He winked. "You don't gotta, though. I mean, we ain't exactly to that level yet, yeah?" He kissed him again, making a happy noise in his throat. When they pulled away he smiled. "Now can we get some food? I feel like I haven't eaten all fuckin' week."

Kankri felt his own stomach growl. "I am rather hungry as well. Perhaps food would be a good idea."

"What you wanna get?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Hey maybe we could hit up that buffet style deal? I hear they got a lot of variety and some shit that's actually good for you."

"That sounds good to me, I suppose. Though would you be terribly offended if I took a shower first?"

"Naw, babe. I was actually gonna suggest it." He smirked. "You kinda, uh, smell like _jizz_."

Kankri grimaced at that. "And just whose fault is that?"

Cronus tilted his head from side to side. "Probably yours for bein' so fuckin' sexy."

"Cronus!" He was thoroughly unprepared for that answer.

"Don't fight it, babe."

Kankri pushed him off his lap and stood, gathering clean clothes, a towel, and his shower tote. "I'm going to take a shower." And with that, he left the room, leaving Cronus alone.

* * *

_**Author's note:** It was a picture of a "Congrats on the Sex" cake, if you were wondering._


	41. A New Man Does His Hair

Cronus was a little sad that he hadn't been invited to go with Kankri, but they really weren't to that stage yet. Instead he got up and walked over to the mirror. He could at least _try _to fix his hair. He pulled his comb and pomade out of his pocket, resting them next to the sink. He wet his hands and ran them through his hair to get it to lay back a little before opening the pomade and running that through his hair too. He washed his hands the took out his comb, being sure to sculpt it in _just_ the right way.

While he was in the middle of combing his hair back and getting everything to flip in the back the way he wanted, he heard the door opened and could just smell Kankri's shampoo. "Hey babe, you use enough shampoo in there?"

Kankri's face flushed deeply and was exacerbated by the fact that his skin was already shower reddened. "I may have used more soap than I normally do to get rid of a certain scent on my person."

Cronus abandoned his comb and walked over to Kankri, who was dressed with his towel still in hand. He leaned down and gave him a kiss, putting his hands on his hips and humming happily in his throat. He smirked when he pulled away. "Sorry my spunk stank so bad, babe."

"It wasn't that it smelled..._bad_...it was more that it would be strange to walk around smelling that way."

"Yeah babe, I get that." He kissed him again. "Now I just gotta finish primpin' because I look like shit, all right?"

Kankri rolled his eyes. "Crouns you look fine."

"Naw babe, fine ain't good enough. I gotta look perfect."

He wrapped his arms around Cronus's neck and pulled himself up onto his tiptoes for a quick kiss. "Cronus you always look perfect to me." He smiled warmly.

"Babe you can be the sweetest fuckin' thing sometimes." He leaned down and kissed him back. "But seriously I gotta finish doin' my hair. I can't be seen like this."

"All right, fine." He sighed. "I suppose I shall wait for you, then." He pulled away from Cronus and went to sit on his bed.

"Thanks babe, it'll just be like ten minutes, I swear." He went to the mirror and picked up his comb, going through his hair until he deemed it perfect. When he'd finished, he turned around and saw that Kankri was laying on his bed. "Hey I'm all ready babe!"

Kankri sat up, bleary eyed. "Cronus? How long have I been asleep?" He rubbed his eyes with his palm.

"You've been sleepin'? Sorry babe." He walked over to the bed and held himself over his partner, planting a kiss on his lips again. "Mm, babe you ready for some food?"

"Yes I'm quite ready."

"Fuckin' sweet." He kissed him again as his knee pressed against his groin. "Maybe we should just stay here and make out instead?"

Kankri shuddered at Cronus's touch. "No, we should... should definitely get," he moaned as Cronus nipped at his neck, "definitely get food."

Cronus shrugged. "Fair enough, babe." He kissed him chastely before pushing off the bed. "Let's go shove some food down our gullets." He frowned as he backed away from the bed. "Oh fuck, I got swim practice tonight in the Pumpkin Center."

Kankri raised his eyes. "What... Pumpkin Center?"

"You know, that huge ugly ass orange buildin'? It's the Pumpkin Center, yeah?"

"No, that's the Brennan Center."

Cronus frowned like a pouting child. "But I like callin' it the Pumpkin Center..."

Kankri laughed as he sat up. "I suppose you could call it that, but you're quite wrong."

He scrunched his nose. "Way to make me feel better about my mistake, babe."

"I'm sorry, love. When do you have swim practice?"

"Seven." He pulled his boots on. "You wanna go watch?"

Kankri shrugged on shoulder. "Perhaps."

"If you wanna, maybe, bring a suit you could maybe swim with me when it's done." He smirked. "We could totally make out in the pool."

Kankri rolled his eyes again. "No, Cronus. I will not be doing that in the pool with you."

"You sure? It'd be fuckin' hot, I swear. You ever done that?"

"No, and I don't exactly see the allure behind it." He frowned.

Cronus shrugged. "If you're not up for it, I mean we can just come back here for some alone time." He winked, still smirking.

Kankri sighed. "Fine. I'll bring my suit. But can we at least eat first?"

"Of _course_ babe!" He picked him up bridal style and gave him a kiss. "We can eat as much as you want."

He sighed again. "Could you please put me down?"

"Course." He set him on his feet. He smiled as he watched Kankri pull his shoes on and made a face. He couldn't help how cute he thought it was.

"Now I'm ready. Shall we go?"

"Yeah babe, let's go get some chow." He wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"Cronus..."

"Oh, sorry babe." He went to move his arm, but Kankri pulled his hand back.

"No, no you're fine." His face was flushed again. "I... don't mind as much anymore."

"Wait, really babe?"

He smiled a little. "Really."

Cronus leaned down and gave him a kiss before opening the door. "I'm glad." He really was. He didn't expect Kankri to be okay with his arm around his shoulders.

If it hadn't followed the night before, he would have called it the best day of his life so far.

But it was a close second.


	42. Someone Different Sits by the Pool

Dinner had gone surprisingly well. Cronus spent most of with his left arm over Kankri's shoulder, still surprised that he'd even been allowed to do so in the first place and not really wanting to give him a chance to take that back. Kankri had decided that he liked the way his arm felt around his shoulders. It just made him feel strangely... safe. After they'd finished eating, they walked back to Kankri's room and laid on his bed while Kankri did his homework.

Kankri was glad that Cronus seemed more interested in running his fingers through his hair than in doing anything else, but was surprised when he spoke quietly. "Babe?"

"Yes, Cronus?" He kept his eyes on his screen while he typed.

Cronus pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. "You're fuckin' stellar, you know that?"

Kankri was slightly taken aback. "What brought that on, Cronus?"

He could feel him chuckling against his skin. It was strange feeling someone laugh that close to him. It was just so warm. "I'm not really sure. I've just been sittin' here watchin' you be the cutest thing I've ever fuckin' seen and I just." He laughed again. :I don't know, babe. You're just stellar." He kissed his neck again.

He hummed contentedly, closing his eyes. "I'm...not entirely sure how I feel about that, but thank you, love." He looked at the time on his computer. "You said you have practice at seven?"

"Yeah." He kissed Kankri's neck again, eliciting a small grown.

"It's... just after six now. Perhaps we should get some food?"

"Naw, babe, I'm still pretty full from that late lunch. I like to eat after heavy physical activity anyway." He smirked against Kankri's skin.

"I can tell what it is you are insinuating, Cronus. I'm not that naive."

"Oh I know that babe." He could feel his smirk change to a frown. "And I wasn't insinuatin' nothin' at all!"

"Of course you weren't. And I'm a six foot eight Nordic woman."

"Well guten tag, Helga. Nice to meet you."

"That feels incredibly offensive, Cronus."

"Fuck it probably is." He kissed his neck again. "But seriously I shouldn't eat before I swim or I'll fuckin' get cramps. It's not pretty, Kan."

He smiled. "All right, I suppose that we can eat after you practice."

"You gonna grab your suit?"

"Yes I will. Don't you have to get yours?"

"Yeah I guess I should." He planted one more kiss on the back of Kankri's neck. "I'm gonna just go grab my duffle. Back soon, babe." He got up and Kankri was a little sad that his warmth was gone, but it was rather nice to not have his weight on his back.

He continued working on his Calculus and started humming to himself. He didn't often hum for fear of offending people, but it felt like a nice time to do it. Especially since he was by himself. He tapped the end of his pencil against his book, then put it down. He was just going to get ready to go to the pool. He pulled out his swim clothes and stripped down. Then he pulled them on and covered them with his usual clothes. He thought it would be fun to surprise Cronus after his practice by getting in the water with him.

There was a knock at his door. Answering it he saw that it was Cronus. "Hey babe. You ready?"

"I believe that I am. I'm just going to grab some homework for while you're practicing."

"Aw, you ain't gonna just watch me in all my speedo clad glory?"

His jaw dropped a little. "Cronus, I still have Calculus to do. I can't just not do it so I can watch you swim around scantily clad!" His face was beet red.

"Oh but _babe_, that's half the fun, ain't it?"

Kankri looked down and to the side. "I believe that it would be a better use of my time to do my Calculus." He went to his bed and packed up his homework in his backpack and slung it over his shoulders. "Now if _you_ are ready then I am as well."

Cronus smiled. "All right babe, let's go." He slung his arm over his shoulder and they left, though Kankri took the time to lock the door. "So you ever been to a swim practice before?"

"Not since I took swimming lessons as a child."

"Shit then you ain't seen nothin' at all!" He rubbed at Kankri's shoulder. "I mean seriously. Some of my swim mates are fuckin' hot. And I mean _hot_." He hummed happily. "All tan and lean, mm."

Kankri frowned. "Cronus, is that really something to tell your partner?"

"Shit, babe, it ain't like I'm doin' nothin' with them, yeah?" He leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

He rolled his eyes. "I _suppose_ that's true; however, I feel slightly offended that you're looking at other men."

"Shit babe I look at chicks too. I ain't gonna discriminate between hot people, yeah?" He laughed at the face that Kankri made. "_Relax_. I don't fuck my team mates and I _love_ you."

Kankri smiled a little. "I love you, too." He slapped Cronus in the chest with the back of his hand. "But don't you dare do anything with anyone else!"

"I won't, babe." He pulled them behind a tree and out of people's sight to give Kankri a quick, chaste kiss. "I won't."

He sighed. Cronus could be sweet when he tried. He just had to try. "All right. I'll believe you." His smile widened. "Now let's get to your _Pumpkin Center_ so you can swim and I can finish my Calc."

"Yeah, all right babe." He kissed him again quickly and then they made the rest of the journey in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Once in the center, Cronus lead them to the pool. "Okay I gotta go get suited up. Just go ahead and sit over there. You can watch if you want or you just can do your chump work." He ruffled Kankri's hair. "I'll see you in a couple, okay?"

"Of course." Kankri went to a table near the pool and sat down, pulling his Calc book out of his bag and his notebook. It was going to be a long couple of hours. After a few minutes he heard voices. He looked up and saw a few swimmers come out clad in their team suits, goggles and swim caps. He almost wouldn't have recognized Cronus if it weren't for the scars on his chest. He was talking to a girl who hadn't put her swim cap on yet. The braids in her hair reached the floor. He was incredibly surprised that those would fit under her cap at all.

Once she got her cap on, which was a remarkable process to watch, they were the first to enter the water. Kankri couldn't help but notice how at home Cronus looked there. It was like he was born to swim. That made him nervous to even think about entering the water with him. He may have known _how_ to swim, but he'd never said that he was _good_ at it.

Be he continued to watch all of the swimmers, entranced by the way they moved. Some of them were far less graceful than others, but none of them seemed to have the strange kind of poise that Cronus and the girl he'd come in with did. This made him feel rather sad. It was almost as if those two were the ones that should be in a relationship and not he and Cronus. He looked back to his homework for a distraction from those thoughts. It was hard, but eventually he pushed it from his brain and concentrated solely on Calc.

By the time he looked up again, finally finished, the team had mostly left and Cronus was sitting on the edge of the pool laughing with the girl. He'd taken off his cap and goggles, as had she. Kankri waved at them and Cronus gestured at him wildly to the girl. It looked like she just laughed. They got off the edge and joined them after grabbing towels from their duffles near the pool. Cronus dried himself off before sitting next to Kankri and wrapping his arm around his shoulders again. "So, Kan, this is Meenah. Meenah, Kankri." He gestured respectively.

She raised her eyebrows. "Yeah he ain't even on my radar, Ampora."

"I figured, babe. You go in more for double X's, yeah?" He snickered. "Or is it more like double D's?"

She frowned and pointed at him. "You got no right to be talkin' about my gill frond like that, you useless sack a shit."

"Hey fuck you, she's my step sister!"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever, shrimp head."

Kankri looked between them, biting his lip. "So, Meenah? You're... dating Cronus's step sister?"

"I sure am, shortie." She smirked. "You said this guy was smart, Ampora."

"Hey he is, he just don't get out much, yeah?"

"Yeah, whatever. I got a sweet lady a my own waitin' for me back in my suite. See you gay boys later." She stood and waved at them briefly.

Kankri looked at Cronus, his face flushed. "Cronus, I will have you know that I'm not _gay_."

"Yeah? Me neither. Though I don't know why people think I am." He leaned in close to Kan. "It ain't like I suck guys off or nothin' like that." He chuckled.

"Cronus!"

"Hey you can't hate me there. It's _true_." He kissed behind Kankri's ear.

Kankri looked around the pool. "It looks like we're completely alone now."

"Yeah we are, babe. Practice let out early. Ain't no one comes here this time a night, neither."

Kankri shrugged his arm off of his shoulder and stood, peeling off his sweater as he did. "Would you... like to swim with me?"

"Fuck yeah, babe." He stood and stretched, watching as Kankri undid his belt, removed his pants, socks and shoes and placied them next to his sweater. "Babe, you _gotta_ be kiddin' me. Is that _really_ your suit?"

"Well of course it is. I am uncomfortable with any other kind and these old style men's one pieces are just so inoffensive."

"Where the fuck did you even get that?"

"Porrim made it for me."

He rolled his eyes. "Somehow that don't surprise me." He laughed a little. Whatever, let's hit the water." They made it to the edge of the pool and Cronus jumped in. Kankri just sat at the edge, dangling his feet in the water. "What is it, babe? You can swim, yeah?"

"Yes, but not very _well_. And you're so graceful in the water. How am I supposed to swim with you?"

"Just get in and I'll swim with you on my chest or somethin' okay?"

"All right." Kankri slid into the water and Cronus grabbed him, pulling him onto his chest.

"Just hold on, babe." Kankri wrapped his arms around his neck and Cronus began to slowly backstroke. "You doin' okay?"

"Yes."

"Cool." He met the edge of the pool and rested his arms on it like he would with the back of the couch. "Mm, babe?"

"Yes Cronus?"

Cronus didn't respond by speaking; he just leaned forward and kissed him, making a content humming noise in his throat. "Nothin'. I just wanted to get you lookin' at me so I could kiss you." Kankri smiled and kissed him back deeply, their lips parting and tongues meeting as both of them groaned. He began to suck on his partner's tongue and tighten his grip around his neck. He heard Cronus moan while he sucked and he wrapped his legs around the taller man's waist. Cronus pulled away, still humming. "Babe that was kinda hot."

Kankri looked down, smiling a little. "I... Thank you." He didn't know what else to say.

"No, really." He put one hand in Kankri's hair and rubbed his scalp. "I kinda like it when you get all in control like that." He smirked. "If you wanna take more control, uh, I wouldn't be opposed."

Kankri's face flushed. He could feel Cronus's erection pressing against his own growing hardness, though he really didn't want to do anything like that in the pool. "I don't wish to do anything like that here."

Cronus kissed his neck and smirked. "You maybe wanna take a shower together?"

Kankri's eyes widen. "Cronus..."

"Babe it's up to you."

Kankri thought about it for a few moments and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I feel that, perhaps, so long as there is no one else around that is, I would like to _try_ that."

Cronus smiled widely then kissed him deeply. "Then let's take that fuckin' shower, yeah?" He put both arms back on the edge of the pool and did his best to pull them both out. Now that Kankri had see him swim, it was easy to tell how he'd gotten to much upper body strength.

Once they were out of the water, Cronus grabbed his duffle and they went to the locker room. It had been a very long time since Kankri had been in one. And he'd never been in a shower with someone else like this.

He was honestly very nervous to even get in, but he trusted Cronus. He knew that he wouldn't push him into anything.


	43. Someone Different Tries Something New

Kankri sat on a bench in the locker room staring at the shower while Cronus sat beside him, rubbing one of his shoulders. "You don't gotta go in with me, babe."

"No, I don't. But I'm going to do it." He took a deep breath. "Would you unzip my suit, please?"

"Let's just get undressed in the shower, babe."

"Fine." The two of them stood and entered the shower. Cronus turned on the water to a slightly uncomfortable warmth, but it was nice after the cool of the pool.

Cronus turned, his thumbs tucked into the top of his suit. "So. You want me to disrobe first?" He smirked, raising his eyebrows.

"Cronus, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with this. Someone could walk in..."

"Ain't no one walkin' in, babe. I locked the door."

"But what if someone _hears_ something?"

"They ain't gonna hear nothin', babe." He drummed his fingers arhythmically against his things. "So?"

Kankri took another deep breath, letting his shoulders rise and fall with it. "You first."

"I can dig that." He pulled his suit down and stepped out of it, his erection making a wet slapping noise against him once it was free. He smiled. "Want me to unzip you now, then?"

"Yes." Kankri's face was flushed, both form the heat of the shower and his general state of embarrassment at the prospect of being naked in front of anyone else. He turned around, though, letting Cronus grab the zipper.

"I'm gonna unzip you now, babe." He pressed a kiss to his neck, drawing the mechanism down slowly and letting his other hand rub at Kankri's newly exposed back as he did. Once he was done, he put his other hand under the suit and rubbed at his skin. "I'm done, babe." He rested his forehead against the back of the shorter man's head.

"I can do this." Kankri pulled his arms out from the sleeves of his suit, though he stopped and held it at his waist. "Cronus?"

"Yeah babe?"

"I haven't been..._nude_ in front of anyone willingly in my entire life."

Cronus kissed the back of his head. "Then I'm fuckin' honored that I get to see this." He chuckled. "Besides, babe, it ain't like I haven't seen what you're packin' already."

Kankri frowned at that. "Cronus, this is a very big deal for me. Regardless of whether or not you've "seen what I'm packing" I still haven't undressed in front of anyone in my life _ever_."

He kissed the back of his head again. "Yeah, babe, I'm sorry."

"Okay." He swallowed hard and let go of the suit, letting it drop to the floor of the shower stall. He turned his head to look at Cronus. "I just want you to know that I trust you implicitly."

Cronus smiled. "I'm glad you trust me." He kissed his shoulder. "Don't be afraid. You can turn around, babe." Kankri looked back at the wall and then turned, slowly. Cronus put his hands on his waist and pulled his close, their erections pressing against each other as they kissed. "Babe I don't know why you were so nervous." He kissed him again. "You're gorgeous."

Kankri shook his head. "I'm not. I'm soft and short. I'm weak and pathetic. My nose is beaky and my lips are too big..." He sighed. "My eyes are always half closed and it makes me look tired." He looked into Cronus's deep blue eyes. "You're everything that I'm not."

Cronus laughed. "Babe, you are fuckin' _gorgeous_. Yeah you're short, but who fuckin' cares? Personally I like how soft you are." He kissed his neck. "You're like, soft without bein' flabby? I don't know. I like it. And you're not weak, or pathetic. You've been through some tough fuckin' shit, okay?" He kissed his nose. "And your nose ain't beaky it's perfect." He kissed him deeply. "And your lips? Mm, are they ever kissable." He looked back into his eyes. "And I love your eyes, too. You've got bedroom eyes, Kan. If you wanted you could get me naked in like two seconds just by lookin' at me right." He kissed him again. "Like I said, babe, you're fuckin' gorgeous."

Kankri furrowed his brow but smiled. "Although I don't agree with you, I will still thank you." He smiled. "So thank you."

Cronus rubbed the smaller man's hips. "It ain't a problem, babe." He brought their lips together and kissed him hungrily. Kankri wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled them closer. Cronus kissed down his neck and pulled away, breathing hard. "Babe?"

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna try somethin' and you just tell me if you ain't up for it, okay?" Kankri just nodded with a shuddering breath. Cronus took the opportunity to take both of their erections in his hand, rubbing them together. Kankri let out a loud moan through labored breathing.

"Cronus..." His voice sounded almost plaintive.

"Yeah, babe?" His voice was husky and he continued to move his hand.

"This is..." He made a keening noise and rested his head against Cronus's chest. "...very intense." His breaths were shallow and quick.

"Fuck yeah, it is, babe." He put his free hand on Kankri's ass, squeezing a little, eliciting another keening noise. "Oh fuck babe you got an ass that just don't stop, don't you?"

"Cronus!" He squirmed a little at Cronus's grasp and groaned as they were rubbed together. "Don't stop, please. Please. Don't. Don't stop." He continued to murmur under his breath as Cronus continued.

"Oh babe, you're so fuckin' _needy_." He groaned. "Oh _fuck_ you get me so hot when you make those fuckin' noises." He tilted his head back, still stroking them together. "Fuck babe, are you gonna come with me?"

Kankri could feel the heat pooling in his abdomen and he screamed wordlessly, unable to say anything. He _was_ about to come, but he couldn't articulate that at all. He kissed and nipped at Cronus's chest, trying for as much contact as he could get. Cronus reciprocated by stroking harder and faster, the pre-ejaculate leaking from both of them aiding in lubricating his strokes. "Cronus..." His voice was weak and shaky.

"Yeah, babe. Come on. Come with me. Fuckin' come for me, babe." Kankri picked up his head and craned his neck to kiss Cronus deeply, their tongues moving against each other angrily while their lips moved rapidly, trying for any kind of contact. After a few quick moments, he felt himself come with another wordless cry. Cronus groaned and stopped rubbing them together. He spoke, his voice strained. "Fuckin' christ, Kan." He laughed a little.

Kankri panted. "That was..._new_."

Cronus smiled. "Wanna try somethin' else new?" He raised his eyebrows hopefully.

"I hope that you're not insinuating that we should have..._ intercourse_ in the shower."

"Well, uh, nothin' like that." He kissed his neck. "Maybe just let me come between your thighs?"

"What?"

He sucked a little where he'd kissed. "Just let me finish myself off like that, please?"

"I'm... not sure about that, Cronus."

"It's fine babe, you don't gotta."

"It's just that I am not sure how that would work."

Cronus chuckled. "Maybe it ain't a great idea in here. Look, I can get myself off. It ain't the first time I've done somethin' like that." Kankri looked down and took a deep breath. Although he'd told himself that he wouldn't try to again for some time, he decided that he may have lied. He got on his knees in front of Cronus and stared deerminedly up at him. "Babe?" Kankri licked at his tip, eliciting a surprised gasp. "_Fuck_." He sucked lightly, bringing his head into his mouth. He moved down again, being careful to keep his lips between his teeth and Cronus. He took what he could into his mouth and what he couldn't, he gripped tightly with his hand, moving his hand as he bobbed. "Fuckin'... Babe." Cronus gripped his hair tightly, making him groan around his erection. "Babe... Babe! I'm gonna!' He groaned and Kankri pulled away with a pop before he came. He leaned away as Cronus came, though sticky fluid still manage to fly into his face. "Fuck, babe..." His breathing was haggard and he laughed. "That was so much fuckin' better than last time."

Kankri smiled, unsure of how to feel. "Thank you?" He wiped some of the semen off of his face and stood up. Cronus's hand stayed in his hair as he moved.

"Seriously, babe, I did _not_ fuckin' expect you to do that." He kissed him languidly, all of the energy from before now gone after his release. He smiled. "Fuck good thing we're in the shower. We should clean ourselves off, maybe."

Kankri leaned against him. "We could stay like this. Just for a few minutes."

"Yeah, babe. Yeah that sounds good." He wrapped his arms around his partner and held him tightly.

Kankri couldn't help but to think that it was nice just having someone being so kind through all of this. It was definitely a good change.


	44. A New Man Shares His Music

_**Author's Note:** All right folks I've got a friend that makes music who made a song for me. He's oAz on youtube. I posted the video there as he hasn't made one yet. Unfortunately I CAN'T link here, as such, you should look for user CrazyCraneCrew (that's me, btw. A very old username yeesh) and click on Teslapunk Overture. Listen to it while the boys are. You won't regret it._

* * *

They cleaned themselves up, placing soft kisses against each other as they did. Once the water was cold, they got out and dried off, taking their time. There was no rush after all. It was Saturday; they didn't have anywhere to be. Once they were dressed, Cronus wrapped his arms around Kankri's shoulders and smiled as he pressed a kiss to his lips. Both of them made soft contented noises in their throats and then they pulled away with a soft smack.

Cronus took his chances and grabbed Kankri's hand, twining their fingers together. They walked to the door, Cronus's duffle slung over his shoulder. He unlocked the door and they walked back to the other side of the pool when they heard laughter. Cronus turned around and saw no one, but when he looked up to the second floor he saw his suite mate with his back turned and a horrifyingly familiar skull-painted face staring down at him. Kankri looked between him and the second floor then back to Cronus. "Cronus did they hear us? Are they laughing at us?" His grip on Cronus's hand tightened.

Cronus took a deep breath. "No he ain't laughin' at that, babe." He rubbed at Kankri's thumb with his own. "I'm pretty sure he's just laughin' with that guy up there."

"Cronus, what's wrong? You don't sound okay."

"It's just that fucker with the face paint. I... I know him."

"You do?" Kankri furrowed his brow, worried.

"You remember that fucker from my story about magic? With the skull paint?"

"Yes."

"That's him. That's the fuckin' bastard." He felt himself tense. "I don't fuckin' know why he's here, but can we just go?"

"Of course." Kankri grabbed his backpack off the table and they left in silence.

They maintained their silence until they made it back to Kankri's room and Cronus plopped down onto his bed. Kankri set his things down and sat next to him. "Cronus? Are you okay?"

"No."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Kankri sighed. "I can't do anything if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Cronus glanced up at him. "Can I stay here again tonight?"

"I suppose. Why don't you want to go back to your suite?"

"Skull-face."

"Cronus he'll be in the other room. What's the problem?"

"He always finds a way." His phone chimed. "Fuck, that's probably him."

"Would you like me to answer it?"

"I don't fuckin' care." He buried his face back in the pillow.

Kankri pulled his phone out of his pocket and frowned. "Cronus I can't unlock it." Cronus swiped it and entered his passcode without looking. "Thank you." He looked at the text from what appeared to be an unknown number.

_:o)_

Kankri frowned. What a strange thing to send someone. He tapped out a response, doing his best to imitate the way that Cronus would type.

_hey you,vwhat the frack do you think you're doin?_

He felt that was accurate. It chimed again.

_:o)_

_i see that you're not goin to be deterred by my strongly wvorded message._

_:o)_

_just stop sendin texts. this isnt vwho you think it is. please stop._

Kankri heard his own phone buzz on his desk. He rose to get it and assumed that it was just Porrim. She always had the strangest timing with her texts. His was almost as if she had some sort of preternatural power with her timing. He opened it up. It was a text from the same number.

_DONT YOU MOTHER FUCKIN GET IN MY WAY, BROTHER._

_H9w... H9w did y9u get this num6er?_

_QUESTION NOT THE WAY OF THE MOTHER FUCKIN RIGHTEOUS. I AM ON A QUEST OF MIRACULOUS PROPORTIONS AND I WILL NOT LET YOU GET IN MY MOTHER FUCKIN WAY._

_Please just answer my questi9n._

_NO MOTHER FUCKIN WAY, KANKRI VANTAS._

Kankri threw his phone. There was no way for him to know his name. None at _all_. He laid down next to Cronus and wrapped his arms around him. "Cronus, he scares me."

"He scares me too." Cronus sighed. "Wait. I heard your phone vibrate. Did he fuckin' text _you_?!" He sat up and searched Kankri's face. "What the fuck did he say, babe?"

"I... He... He said something about not getting in his way? Or questioning the "way of the righteous" and... He knew my _name_, Cronus." He swallowed. "How did he know my name?"

Cronus shook his head slowly. "I don't fuckin' know, babe. I don't know how he finds out anything."

"Maybe we should go to your room and, perhaps, show that we're unafraid?"

"What fuckin' good would that do when I'm fuckin' terrified of that guy?"

"I'm not entirely sure; however, it may do us both some good."

He raised his eyebrows and they disappeared under his unstyled hair. "Yeah. A _lot_ a fuckin' good it'll do. I'm _sure_."

"You never know until you try, Cronus. Perhaps you'd like to show me another of the songs you've been working on?"

Cronus raised his eyebrows at that. No one _ever_ asked to hear his music and he was _not _going to let the fucker that had tormented him through high school stop him from showing Kankri his latest masterpiece. "You're not fuckin' with me, right?" He still needed to be sure, though. It was quite a large step to take, after all.

Kankri smiled. "I'm not messing with you. I quite enjoyed when you sang to me before and when you're practicing. I'd like to hear something of _yours_, though. Instead of a "cover tune" if that wouldn't be a problem. I don't mean any offense by that, of course."

"No, babe, none taken." He leaned forward and kissed him. "Thanks for wantin' to hear it, though. It means a lot."

"Of course. First, though, allow me to change into something a little drier."

"Yeah sure." Cronus got off the bed and started to look for his boots before he realized that he hadn't taken them off. He turned and watched as Kankri changed out of his suit. It was nice to be able to just sit there while he did. His body was so small; Cronus couldn't really see why Kankri hated it so much. He thought it was great the way it was. Though maybe he was a little biased.

Once Kankri was dressed, he turned back around. "Then let's go, shall we?"

Cronus smiled. "Yeah babe let's go give that shit a good long listen."

They walked to Cronus's room and sat at his desk. He dug through a few of his files in silence looking for the perfect one. "Babe I ain't sure which one I wanna show you."

"Show me the one you finished most recently perhaps?"

He made a face. "Well, I ain't sure how I _feel_ about that one yet. A friend a mine had to name it since I was so fuckin' stumped on it, you know?"

"What is it called?"

He shrugged. "Teslapunk Overture."

"That sounds... Interesting."

"Yeah I guess. The friend that named it didn't even fuckin' listen to it. Fuck they ain't even really my friend; they're more just like the classmate that actually talks to me." He shrugged. "Whatever, I don't get what's wrong with _them_." By them, he was really implying the rest of the world. But who needed them? Fuck them. He and Kankri were happy and were too good for them anyway! He opened the file and waited for it to load.

He watched Kankri while they listened. The other man bite his lip when it started. It seemed to be a good lip bite, though. He was concentrating on it. Kankri licked his lip and glanced at him. "I like it. It's quite charming."

"No no, babe. Keep listenin'. It gets better."

"Oh? Well, I suppose." He watched the screen as the media player randomization went on. And then the music changed. His jaw went a little slack. "Oh my _god_. Cronus. This... This isn't like what I would usually listen to, but this is just so impressive!"

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "You think so, babe?"

"I _know_ so!" He laughed a little. "I don't see what you were so nervous about with this. How long did this _take_?"

"Eh, maybe... A month or two? I'm not really sure I guess."

Kankri smiled. "I love it. It's _wonderful_. It's strangely like you in a way."

"Say what?"

"Well... It starts out with a sort of, and please don't be offended by this, it starts out with a sort of almost... arrogance? Just very abrupt and in one's face. And then it grows into itself a little and shows you what it _wants_ you to see, or rather hear in this instance. But eventually it simply drops the pretense and shows itself for what it is, while echos of what it initially was are heard throughout."

Cronus laughed. "Fuck, babe, you're better at analyzin' my shit than most a the people in my fuckin' classes. Sure you don't wanna be a music major?"

Kankri made a face. "I'm quite positive. I am pre-law and I do intend to stay that way."

"You're pre-_law_? Fuck, Kan, I had no fuckin' clue."

"Why else would I have come here?"

"Fuck, I just thought that like for _law_ you'd go to fuckin' Yale or Harvard or somethin' fancy schmancy. Not like this fuckin' sty."

"I'll have you know that my plan is to attend Harvard once I am eligible to enter the actual Law Program. This university was also more practical for now as most of my foster family has come here, despite its prestigious status and the general affluence required to come here. I made it here through scholarships and hard work."

"Fuck I made it here through my dad's fuckin' money. Ain't no way I would've qualified for _nothin_' like a nice scholarship. I didn't give any fucks about shit. Sorta the exact opposite of you, I guess." He leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. "Though I guess that whole opposites attract thing has to come from somewhere, yeah?" He kissed his nose.

Kankri swatted him away. "It comes from magnets."

"I know that babe; I was just teasin' you."

"I'm aware." Kankri leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss.

"Hey babe?"

"Yes?"

He smiled nervously. "I'm glad you wanted to hear that song. It means a lot."

"Why wouldn't I want to hear it?"

"I dunno. I guess other people ain't got much for taste, yeah?" He laughed a little and Kankri swatted his shoulder.

"Don't be so rude!"

He shrugged. "Hey babe, I am what I am."

"And I love what you are."

Cronus smiled. "I love what you are, too, babe." He wrapped his arms around his partner's shoulders. He felt like he was supposed to be afraid of something just then, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what. And he didn't care.


	45. A New Man Faces a Demon

They sat in Cronus's room, listening to more of his music when they heard a knock. It wasn't loud, but it was still scary, as it came not from the hall door, but from the adjoining common room. Cronus tensed, putting his hand on Kankri's knee for support. "Kan..."

"It's okay, love." He rested his hand over Cronus's. "But you should answer that."

"Why? Why do I have to answer it? I _know_ who it fuckin' is."

"You should answer it to prove that you're not scared."

"But I am scared. Why the fuck would I need to prove that I'm not?"

"Because facing your demons in an important part of life."

"I ain't ready for that!"  
"No one is ever really _ready_, Cronus. But we still have to."

Cronus sighed, leaning against his shoulder. "Babe I don't think I can do it. Will you answer the door for me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's something that everyone has to do for themselves when the time is right. I'm not sure if it's your time to face your demons yet, but I feel that the universe is showing you that you should try."

Cronus frowned. "But _babe_, he is so fuckin' terrifyin', you don't even _know_."

Kankri swallowed hard. "I understand terrifying individuals. I have met them. And I face my demons daily. I never want to, but they're always there."

Cronus furrowed his brow and looked up. "What do you mean by facin' em daily?"

Kankri looked away, his expression grim. "I had a horribly traumatic childhood, Cronus and it is safe to say that those demons never truly disappear." He gripped Cronus's hand tightly. "I'm probably never going to be able to defeat them."

"Last I checked with demons and shit, you never really defeat them, it's more like you send them back to the pits of Hell and shit like that."

"Perhaps you're right. But I want to defeat my demons." He looked back at him. "You'll understand when you begin to face yours." He smiled smugly. "Which is why you should go open that door. Or maybe you're too afraid?"

"Are you callin' me chicken?"

"Perhaps."

"Hey, Cronus fuckin' Ampora _ain't_ a chicken."

"Then go open the door."

Cronus knew that he'd been backed into a corner. If he didn't open the door then he'd be a chicken. But he _was_ scared of opening it. And if he opened it then he'd have to face the man that had tortured him through school. But Kankri was right. He would have to face him eventually and he may as well do it now. He took a deep breath, gave Kankri a quick kiss, and walked over to the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open. Standing there was exactly who he thought it would be. "What the fuck do you want?" He crossed his arms over his chest defensively, as if they could possibly protect him from the world.

The other man just kept smiling, his skull-face more obvious up close. It was easy to tell that some of the shadows painted on were really just from his sunken cheeks and the sharp, protruding cheekbones. Cronus had almost forgotten how terrifying he was face to face. Or rather face to chest. Skull-face still towered over him and that grin was unsettling.

"I want you to fuckin' answer me, Makara. What the _fuck_ do you want?"

He shrugged exaggeratedly, raising his hands above his head.

"Fuckin' say _somethin_' or I swear to fuckin' God that I will slam this door in your face so hard that your nose will meet the back of your head." Tough talk. Yeah. That was the key. He just had to not sound terrified in front of him.

He shook his head, though his expression hadn't changed when Mituna ran up behind him and stuck his head under his arm. "Oh lock it's Cronass! And his chowder fuck! Hi chowder fuck!"

Kankri grimaced from his seat. "Mituna, you know my name."

He hung his head. "I'm sorry." He then looked up at Cronus and laughed. "Kurloz, Kurloz! You were going to show me something with Cronus!"

Kurloz looked down at him, his expression a little softer and put his hand in the man's hair. It was strange to see him empathetic toward anyone, but Cronus realized that it made sense. The giant tweaker probably felt like this brain-damaged fucker was like him. High energy and high maintenance, though Kurloz always had more purpose behind the things that he did. Cronus knew that especially well.

"So what you're goin' to take Tuna here under your cryptic fuckin' wing and teach him how to destroy lives, one Hogwarts letter at a time?"

Kurloz looked back at him, his smile gone.

Cronus swallowed. Tough talk was making him feel a little brave, but he didn't know how much more he could do before he needed to just lay down in fetal position for a few hours. "What the fuck do you want, Kurloz?"

He narrowed his eyes and leaned down a little, meeting Cronus's eyes with his strange hypnotic gaze. He spoke, though his voice was hoarse and broken and very much unlike the deep boom that Cronus had learned to fear. But this was almost more terrifying as he had to strain to listen. "I want to bleed you dry, mother fucker."

"You need to go."

"I want to take everything you mother fuckin' love and ruin it."

"What the _fuck_ is wrong with you? Didn't you fuck me up enough in high school?"

"No. I need to break you."

Cronus frowned. "Well you don't gotta worry about that; I been broke a long fuckin' time."

"No. _I_ need to mother fuckin' break you."

That made Cronus more nervous. He'd been broken already for a long time. He didn't know what else Kurloz could do to him. But then he remembered that he'd gotten Kankri's number and his eyes widened. "You leave him alone."

"Or what?"

"Or... I don't fuckin' know. But if you so much as try to do anythin', I will do my fuckin' damnedest to make sure that you never speak again. Fuck I could probably get you arrested if I wanted."

That made Kurloz laugh. It was a raspy, hoarse sound, even compared to his voice. It rattled like their was something in his lungs that wanted out.

"What's so fuckin' funny?"

"It's not my fault that you don't have a mother fuckin' sense of humor."

"I don't get it."

Kurloz leaned even closer and Cronus could smell something acrid on his breath. "You don't have it in you to end me. Even if you thought you did," his grin widened, "you'd be left the punchline of the joke!"

Cronus shifted a little and Mituna finally spoke up. "Kurloz! Let's go back and watch a movie. This fucker is boring and he won't even admit to his chowder fuck."

Kurloz leaned away from Cronus, drawing up to his full height and smiling down at Mituna, just smiling. He turned with him and left Cronus and Kankri in the room.

Cronus quickly closed the door and locked it, slumping back against it nervously. He couldn't help but feel that it was going to open behind him.


	46. Someone Different Proves He's Real

Kankri went to the door and sat in front of Cronus, putting a hand on his face. "You did very well, Cronus." He kissed him softly, trying to pull him out of his nervousness.

"Babe he fuckin' threatened you. I can't deal with that, you know? I can deal with him threatenin' me, but he threatened _you_. And I can't. I just can't."

He moved next to him and leaned on a broad shoulder. "He won't do anything to me."

"Yes he will. He will fuck with you more than he did with me just so you'll break and then I'll break." He wrapped his arm around Kankri's waist and pulled him even closer. "I can't handle that." He took a deep breath. "Could we maybe just go back to your room? I don't think I can do anymore demon facing today."

"Of course we can. Go ahead and get a few things together. You can just stay there tonight."

"Thanks, babe."

Kankri smiled as they stood up. He sat at the desk while Cronus packed a few things, including his guitar and laptop. It was always interesting to him to see what things people grabbed when they were going somewhere. Even if it was literally a two minute walk down the hall. Once Cronus had packed, they left the room in silence and made their way to Kankri's room.

When they'd made it inside, Cronus put his things down and took off his boots while Kankri kicked off his shoes and sat on his bed. Wordlessly, Cronus joined him and pressed soft kisses to his lips and neck. Kankri didn't have to ask to know that he needed this right now. That he was terrified of lose. And terrified of breaking.

Kankri wrapped his arms around Cronus's neck and laid back on the bed, letting him kiss down his neck and pull his sweater off, and then his own shirt. Cronus's breathing was ragged as he continued kissing Kankri's neck and then down his chest. He licked at a nipple and Kankri made a small whining sound in his throat at the contact. Somehow it felt different that it had the first time Cronus had done that.

Then again, somehow Cronus felt different than he had the previous night. There was tension in him where before he'd been relaxed and fluid.

Kankri watched as Cronus continued kissing down his torso and the look on his partner's face was almost desperate. He took a deep breath. "Cronus?"

Cronus looked up at him, his eyes somewhat panicked. "Kan?"

"Are you okay?"

Strong arms wrapped around him. "No."

"Is there anything that I can do?"

He rubbed his head against his stomach. "No."

"Are you sure?"

A deep breath and a sigh. "No."

Kankri sat up and ran his fingers through Cronus's hair, playing with the white streak at the front. "What is it that you want to do, Cronus?"

"I'm not sure."

"What _were_ you doing?"

Cronus laughed bitterly. "I was makin' sure you were real."

"What?"

"It's stupid. Forget I said anythin' at all." He kissed his stomach.

"I'm sure it isn't." He continued playing with his hair.

"I guess..." He glanced up. "I guess I was maybe just afraid that this whole month has just been some fuckin' dream and that him showin' up was the sign that it was home. And that I was just gonna wake up and be back home in my fuckin' Batman pajamas..." He pushed himself up and leaned forward to kiss Kankri. "And I didn't fuckin' want that."

"Cronus..."

"Prove to me that this isn't a dream, Kan."

"What?"

"Prove it to me."

"How do you expect me to go about that, exactly?"

Cronus sat thinking for a little while. "I need you to hurt me. You can't feel pain in dreams, right? At least not things that should hurt. Like you remember what it's supposed to feel like but you don't actually get hurt."

"Cronus... I... I can't."

"Then you must just be a dream. Funny, I didn't think I had it in my to make someone as wonderful as you up." He kissed him. "But I've gotta know." He got off of the bed and went to the desk. He started to dig.

"Cronus, don't be absurd. Of course this isn't a dream."

"Of course you'd say that if this was a dream."

Kankri got off the bed and stood behind Cronus, resting his head against his back. "Tell me what you need me to do to prove that I'm real, Cronus."

He glanced over his shoulder. "Hit me. Bite me. Kick me. I don't fuckin' care how you do it, you just need to hurt me somehow."

He took a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I need you to."

"I don't think I can."

"You can. It's okay, Kan. I need this." He hung his head.

"All right." He took a deep breath. "Turn around please." Cronus did as he was asked. "Thank you." Kankri stood on his tiptoes and pulled Cronus down so he could reach his neck. "I love you, Cronus."

"I love you, too, babe."

Kankri cried as he bit his neck as hard as he could stand and just stayed there. Cronus screamed, but he didn't stop until he heard a cry of "Fuckin' shit babe let go! You're real! You're fuckin' real!" Between the screaming and his shouts, Kankri could hear him laughing. He pulled away and Cronus kissed him deeply. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Cronus?"

"Yeah babe?" He kissed him again, humming in his throat.

"Why did you think this was a dream?"

Cronus frowned. "That's, uh, that's not a story I really wanna tell right now..."

"I'm beginning to think that you don't want to tell me anything about yourself."

"Fuck no. I will literally tell you anything about me that doesn't have anything to do with any of this."

"Why not?"

"Because it's too hard to talk about."

"Have you ever tried?"

"Fuckin' _Christ_,Kan! For someone that doesn't like people pryin' you're sure pretty good at it yourself! Just let me not talk about it, okay? I'll tell you when I'm ready."

Kankri sighed. "I apologize. I didn't mean to upset you. I'll let you be."

"Thanks babe." He smirked. "But, uh, now that we're both shirtless anyway, you maybe wanna pick up where we left off?"

Kankri rolled his eyes, though he smiled. "I'm not sure, Cronus. Perhaps I'd just like to sleep for a while."

"I can live with that."

"Then that's what we're going to do." He grabbed Cronus's hand and led him back to the bed. They curled up, limbs intertwined and heat radiating off of each other.

Kankri fell asleep almost immediately.

It had been a strange day.


	47. A New Man Writes the Damn Paper

Cronus had slept soundly through the night and awoke with his arms still wrapped around Kankri, though it appeared that, at some point in the night, the blankets had fallen off the bed. He squinted up at the clock, not quite able to see without his glasses or contacts, and thought that it was either six or eight, though it could have been nine. In all honesty he couldn't be sure. He leaned his head down into Kankri and smelled his hair, smiling. It was a little strange smelling that little bit of chlorine and Old Spice in his hair instead of his usual coconut, but it made him feel more real.

He kissed the top of his head and just rested there for a while, waiting for his partner to wake up. He really didn't want to move anyway. Just laying there was so much nicer than the world outside. He tightened his grip a little and just laid there. He really didn't feel like he could fall asleep again. But he didn't want to make Kankri wake up if he was sleepy soundly. He sighed and then laughed a little when Kankri's hair moved against his nose.

He took a quick breath and stopped moving when he felt Kankri move. He looked down at him, afraid that he'd woken him up, but instead he just made a little noise in his throat and pushed closer against him, muttering something under his breath. Cronus sighed, glad that he hadn't woken him up, though he did really want to move, or at least get up. Though he felt Kankri move against, this time making a high pitched whining noise.

"Kan? Kan, you okay?" He whispered, trying not to wake him up if he wasn't already.

He groaned and wrapped his arms more tightly around Cronus.

"Babe? Are you awake?"

Kankri groaned again. "No..."

"Did I wake you up?" He kissed the top of his head.

"No." He looked up at him. "I just had a bad dream."

Cronus leaned down and kissed him softly. "Wanna talk about it?"

He sighed. "It was... I don't know how to describe it."

Cronus narrowed his eyes. "It was _him_ wasn't it?"

"How did you...?"

"I just sorta figured, you know?" He'd had nightmares about Kurloz for years. He could understand Kankri having nightmares too.

Kankri looked down. "It was just so _vivid_. I haven't had a dream like it in such a long time, though..." He tightened his grip again. "I hate him, Cronus."

"I hate him, too, babe."

"I hope he rots in the deepest pits of the earth."

"Me too, babe."

Kankri frowned. "Even after all these years I just don't understand why anyone would _do_ something like that. Especially to a _child_." There were tears in his eyes.

"I don't know. I wish I could tell you, but I really can't." He stroked his hair. "All I can tell you is that you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm here."

"I know you are, Cronus, but this dream just felt so _real_."

"I get that babe. I've been havin' weird real feelin' dreams a lot here too, remember?"

Kankri's frown deepened. "Don't make this about you, Cronus."

"I ain't doin' that! I just meant that I _get_ it, okay?"

He huffed. "Fine."

"Babe what the fuck did I do?"

"It's nothing." He pulled away and got out of bed, stretching as he did so. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." He turned back to Cronus. "You need to do that paper."

Cronus groaned. "Babe you're really gonna make me do a fuckin' paper?"

"No I'm going to tell you to do your _homework_."

"What about you? Ain't you got any?"

"No. I finished mine."

"Really?" He gave his most charming smile. "Wanna do mine?"

"No."

His face quickly turned into a exaggerated pout. "Aw, why not?"

"Because that won't help you in anyway."

"Yeah and writin' a paper about fuckin' Estonia is _really_ gonna help me in life."

"You never know. You may find yourself in a position wherein you'll need to know about the country and if I were to write this paper for you, then what good would it do you?"

"But babe, it's _literally_, like, the most useless shit like population and land mass."

"Perhaps someday you'll find yourself trapped in some sort of house and the only way that you'll be able to get out of it will be to answer questions about Nordic countries."

Cronus burst out laughing and rolled onto his back. "Babe that might be one of the silliest things you've ever said."

"Is it?"

"Yeah. Yeah it is." He smiled at him. "So you're not mad at me?"

"I'm upset, but I'll be fine." He took a deep breath and started to get dressed. "It's been a long time since I've had a dream about _him_, but I'll be okay." He let the breath out.

Cronus got out of the bed and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "Babe. I'm here for you. I'll make sure that you're okay."

He tensed and pushed the arms off his shoulders. "Thank you, Cronus, but in this case the only one that can make sure I'm okay is _me_." He stepped back from his partner. "Please don't touch me right now. I feel that it will trigger me."

"All right, Kan." He raised his arms to show that he wasn't going to touch him. "I'll stay as far form you as you want today, okay?"

He smiled a little. "Thank you." He wrapped his own arms around himself and held tightly. "I would ask you for a hug, but I don't think that I could handle one right now."

"No, babe, I get it. I'll just go get dressed and start on that useless fuckin' paper about a country that I give no fucks about."

Kankri rolled his eyes. "Don't be so hyperbolic, love, I'm sure someday it _will_ matter."

Cronus dug through his bag and pulled out a shirt. "Uh, naw, babe, I'm pretty sure that no fucks will ever be given by me about Estonia." He pulled the shirt over his head and grabbed his glasses off of the desk.

"You can't be sure about that."

"Naw, I'm pretty sure." He grinned and powered up his MacBook. "Maybe instead of writing this paper I'll just write a song you."

Kankri's face flushed. "As _flattering_ as that may be, you should really do that homework."

"Yeah, yeah, babe." He stuck out his tongue. "But when I'm done with this fuckin' paper I'm totally writing a song about your sweet ass."

"Cronus!"

"What? Okay, okay, I'll write it about your hot little body."

"Cronus." Kankri frowned at him.

"I'm kidding, Kan. I'd write it about all of you, but probably how flustered you get when I compliment you because that's fuckin' cute as shit, yeah?" He typed quickly, fingers moving without a second thought while he spoke. "I might mention your ass, though. Because boy you got booty like _pow_!"

"Cronus I feel that that is somehow rather offensive."

"Yeah it's offensive to the tribe of the booty-less and you, babe are _not_ a member of that tribe. Nope. No way are you a member of it." He smiled.

Kankri sighed and moved over to him. "You are a ridiculous human being, I hope that you're aware of that."

"Hey, that's what you love me, right babe?"

He smiled. "That might be a part of it."

"Glad to here it, sweet cheeks."

"Cronus!" He slapped him in the shoulder.

Cronus smiled widely. "Hey, you touched me. Feelin' any better?"

"A little."

"Good enough to give me a little smooch?"

Kankri stood behind him and looked down at him. "Cronus that feels terribly offensive."

"Sorry, babe. I won't ask again today."

He leaned down and gave him a chaste kiss, laughing a little at the awkward position they were in. "I never said that I was offended. Just that it's offensive." He kissed him again, a little more deeply, then pulled away. "Now do that paper. I'll go make something quick to eat."

"Sure thing babe." Cronus continued writing his paper, glad that Kankri had at least initiated some contact after his nightmare. That had to have been a good sign.


	48. A New Man Has Some Compliments to Give

The paper was a load of cushion words and redundancies, but Cronus gave no fucks. He saved it and put it in the Dropbox, leaning back in the chair to stretch. "Baaaaaaaabe!" He looked around the room. "Babe? Baaaaaaaaaabe! Where the fuck are you?"

Kankri came in from the lounge. "Cronus, you do realize that it's only seven-thirty in the morning, don't you?"

"Uh, yeah, so?"

"So people are sleeping! Must you be so loud?"

He shrugged. "Nyeh, I don't fuckin' care. They ain't gonna hear me yellin' you know?"

Kankri crossed his arms over his chest. "Cronus of course they can hear you yelling, why wouldn't they?"

"Because I ain't that fuckin' loud?" He gave a low chuckle. "Though I can be if you want me to be."

Kankri closed his eyes. "Cronus."

"Yeah babe?"

"You're a pig, I hope you know that."

"No I'm your partner and we're honestly at a point where that's not like I'm pushing any boundaries we haven't fuckin' set, yeah?"

"No, but I feel rather uncomfortable with those insinuations."

"Fine, yeah, okay." He stood up, stretching again and cracking his neck. "And weren't you makin' some chow?"

"I was distracted by an offensive post on my dashboard along with my unoffending felines."

"You were on Tumblr."

"Yes."

He smiled and chuckled a little. "Babe that does not surprise me at _all_." He walked over to Kankri and matched his arms folded across his chest.

He smiled a little. "You're making assumptions about me now, then?"

"Naw, I just knew were you a sexy little social justice blogger."

"And I assume that you have a music blog of some sort?"

"Eh, yeah. There ain't much on it. And I got one about, like... Never mind it's stupid. Just forget I said anything."

"No, I'm sure it's something."

He put his hands on the back of his neck. "I, uh, I just don't feel right? You know? Like I was born in the wrong time."

"Oh?" Kankri raised his eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah. Like I mean, I just feel that I'm more like... A 1950s greaser? It's hard to explain."

"That honestly makes sense."

"What?"

"With the way that you drive and speak, that is."

"Heh, thanks? Though I don't always feel like I'm not in the right decade. I don't know. It's really hard to explain." Part of his difficulty may have lain in the fact that he didn't really know if what he was saying was entirely true. He'd decided that it was, but some days it felt like a flat out lie, even to himself. While others it felt like the truth.

"There's nothing wrong with feeling as if you're in the wrong time. In fact I've heard of cases of anachronism before, though most people don't seem to recognize it as anything." He looked away, his face flushing. "Besides, you look...nice...in your wardrobe."

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "Are you sayin' you think I'm hot, babe?"

"I'm suggesting, perhaps, that you are attractive, yes."

"Fuck that is probably as close as I'll get to bein' called hot ever by anyone but me." He laughed once. "So thanks babe."

Kankri moved closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist lightly, resting his head against his chest. "Ypu're welcome, Cronus. I'm... Sorry that I don't feel comfortable saying things like that more often."

"Naw, babe it's fine." He moved his hands and let them hover over Kankri's shoulders. "Is, uh, is it okay if I touch you? Instead of like, you know, like you touching me?" He frowned. "That's probably a stupid thing to say, ain't it?"

"No, love, it's fine." He looked up. "I appreciate that you asked." He moved his arms from his waist to his neck and pulled Cronus down into a kiss.

Cronus put his hands on Kankri's ass and returned the kiss with great gusto, making an almost animalistic growling noise in his throat. Kankri made small keening noises as their tongues danced against each other. Cronus pulled his face back and smiled. "Hey sorry about that one, babe. I couldn't help myself."

Kankri tilted his head back and forth a little. "It's fine." He looked into Cronus's eyes. "I think that, perhaps, I should tell you what that dream was about. So that you understand a bit more."

"No, babe, you don't gotta do that." He moved his hands to Kankri's waist, wrapping his arms around his waist to hold him close.

"I'm aware of that. But you should know what sort of..." His eyes began to scan as if he was looking for the proper word in Cronus's eyes. "What sort of damage has been done to me."

"Babe, no. You really don't gotta." He furrowed his brow. "Seriously, if you don't feel good talkin' about it then you can just let it go."

Kankri smiled. "No. I feel that I should tell you." He kissed him again. "It's something that, as my partner, you should know."

"As long as you're comfortable tellin' me, babe. I ain't gonna push you into nothin' you don't wanna do."

"As you've said before." Cronus could feel Kankri shaking in his arms. Apparently the idea of telling him about his dream was terrifying. That made him worried. He didn't want him to to be afraid. He just wanted him to be happy and to never have to worry again. He rested his chin on top of Kankri's head. "Cronus?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Is there perhaps something the matter?"

"Nah, babe, everything's fine. I just hate thinkin' about someone hurtin' you." He tightened his grip, but felt Kankri tense so he loosened it again. "If anyone ever hurts you again, I will personally bash their fuckin' faces in."

"Cronus, don't be that way. You shouldn't hurt anyone , especially not for me." He took a deep breath. "I don't feel that I'm worth it."

Cronus moved so that they were eye to eye. "Babe you're worth it. Don't you ever feel like you ain't, okay?" He laughed a little. "It's weird for me to be sayin' this shit, since I ain't exactly a prime example of self lovin', but you gotta care about yourself, okay? Kankri Vantas, you are a perfect specimen of humanity and I don't want you feelin' like you you're anythin' less than that, yeah?"

"Cronues, though you are my partner and I appreciate the sentiment of your statement, I do not feel that I should change my views of myself simply because you want me to. It just feels that changing in that way is unhealthy."

"Uh, yeah, maybe if I was pushin' you the other way. And I ain't tellin' you to change for me. I'm just sayin' that you should love yourself for _you_." He leaned down and gave him a soft kiss. "I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you." He meant that. He wanted Kankri to see himself as the wonderfully persnickety that he was.

"Thank you, Cronus." He smiled up at him, though he was still shaking some. "I feel the need to tell you about that dream, though."

"Why, babe?"

He took a deep breath. "Because, Cronus, you were in it."


	49. Someone Different Explains His Dreams

Kankri watched as Cronus's expression changed. Eyebrows knitting together and a frown spreading across his face. His eyes darted, like he was trying to search for meaning in Kankri's face somewhere, but he couldn't find a place to settle. Kankri swallowed, still shaking. In the end it was Cronus that broke the silence between them. "I... I was in your dream?" He nodded. "Did this dream me, like, do somethin' to you, babe?"

He tilted his head back and forth. "I need to tell you it from the beginning, I think."

"Yeah, fair enough babe." He tried to smile. "We should probably sit down, though. You're fuckin' shakin' like crazy."

"Of course... Let's go to the lounge. The couch sounds better than my bed today." He pulled away from Cronus and walked into the adjoining room, taking a seat on the couch. He glanced over at his partner. "The beginning of this dream goes a little further back than tonight."

"What?"

He sighed. "I've been dreaming about, well... About _us_ for a long time now. Honestly since you took me to get food that first time..." He looked away, his face deeply flushed.

"Whoa, uh, I didn't know that." He laughed a little to himself. "Is that what made you send Por to check up on me?"

"Possibly." He didn't want to admit to that. He had more pressing things to talk about. "That aside, since that night I've been dreaming about us in a rather... intimate setting."

"Ooh, baby, you havin' sexy dreams about me?"

He sighed. "Cronus, this is not the point of this at all, please let me continue." He glanced at him and then away again. "Though one could perhaps describe them as such."

"_Do_ go on." He licked his lips a little.

Kankri rolled his eyes. Cronus _was_ succeeding in lightening the mood, though he really wished that he hadn't. It was going to make it that much more difficult to tell him about the night's dream. "These dreams have become increasingly more intimate as of late. Some even coming close to us..." He cleared his throat. He really didn't want to say it, but he knew that he had to. "Close to use taking our relationship a little further than I would find myself typically comfortable." He scratched behind his ear and then let his hand rest on his neck. "And a few nights ago, in the dreams, we did, ah, mm..." He couldn't get the words out. But he had to. He said them quickly so that he didn't have to think about them. "In my dream we made love.

"And last night we were moving into something much as we had in that dream, but something was different, Cronus. I... I felt like _you_ were different somehow. Like you were hiding something. And in the dream I said that to you. And..." He took a deep breath and let it out shuddering. "And you said that there was something you were hiding. And you peeled your face off like it was a mask and instead of you being _you_, you were _him_. And you... He..." He curled in on himself. He couldn't bring himself to say the words.

Cronus went to put an arm around his shoulders, but thought better of it. Instead he kept his distance and moved a little further to the other side of the couch. "Babe," his voice was soft, "that thing in your dream wasn't _me_."

"But it was! Your hands and your body were still yours. But your face wasn't anymore. Your face was cruel and terrifying. And I was small and fragile compared to you or him or whatever it was while it _violated_ my body." He glanced over at Cronus. "I may not be able to... Able to do anything of that nature for quite some time, love."

"Babe I don't fuckin' care about that right now! Are you going to be okay?"

He huffed. "Probably not for a while in all honesty." He turned his head. "You may need to bear with me for quite some time." He grimaced. "Though you don't have to. You could always leave me if you wanted." He looked away. "No one ever stays with me for long. But this was nice."

"Don't fuckin' talk that way! I ain't gonna fuckin' break up with you just because you don't feel like you could do nothin' sexy for a while!" He frowned deeply. "I might be an asshole but I'm not a fuckin' dick, okay? I'll deal with my own sexual frustration, babe. You keep yourself sane in whatever way possible, all _right_?"

Kankri's jaw dropped. "Cronus... Do you mean that? Will you really stay?"

"Of course I'll fuckin' say, Kan. I _love_ you, and you know that." He shifted a little. "Babe, I wanna give you a hug. Is that okay?" Kankri nodded and Cronus wrapped his arms around him. "Babe you don't gotta worry about me leavin' because you think that's what's important to me, okay? I mean, yeah it's somethin' that I like, but if you're not game for it, then I ain't gonna push it. I've told you think a thousand times." He nestled his head in his wild hair. "I want you to know that, no matter what, I'm here for you and that I will _never _hurt you." He took a deep breath. "You mean a whole fuckin' lot to me, okay?"

Kankri could feel tears welling in his eyes, but he held them back to the best of his abilities. "Thank you, Cronus. You don't know how much that means to me." He wrapped his arms around Cronus.

He was happy there, on the couch. The two of them wrapped in each other's arms and saying nothing more. It was moments like that which made him wish that they could stay like that forever. Just the two of them. No outside world. No one to hurt them.

Just _them_. Happy and at peace.

Though he knew that, in reality, that wasn't a possibility, he truly wanted both of their problems to just disappear.

And it was in that way that Kankri realized that Cronus had, in just a few short weeks, become the most important person in his life.


	50. The Big Bad Wolf Bares His Teeth

Kurloz sat in upper level of the cafeteria with his young friend, watching the people below scurry about getting their food. A few people he could see looked like they'd be fun to play with if he got the chance. He really did miss getting new toys every year. Those six years of high school really were the best years he'd had to play with people.

He kept his expression more or less unreadable to everyone around him, though he was constantly thinking and observing as he looked for new toys. Even his young friend, Mituna, had started out as a toy, though he felt a strange kind of sympathy for the boy, even though his accident may have been something of his own construct. It was honestly one of the only things he'd regretted. He loved causing psychological damage, but there was something far less satisfying and disturbingly more human about neurological damage for him. Today they weren't alone, though. There was a girl there. He should have remembered her name, but he didn't care to learn a name unless he needed it.

All that mattered was that he could get what he wanted from people. You don't always need names to get what you want. Especially when what you want is just to break them. After all, Kurloz had always been the little boy that broke his toys. Now he was just the adult that did.

The girl looked at him after something Mituna had said, her eyebrows raised and her lips puckered. "So, KL, it's been a while since I've seen your skull face here, bro! What brings you to this rad campus?"

He shrugged a shoulder. His motto was never to speak unless you had to. It was evident that he didn't use his voice much whenever he did speak, but he loved how quiet and hoarse it was. It made people have to lean in to hear him and that gave him the upper edge.

"So you just wanted to visit my boy here?" She slung an arm over Mituna's shoulder and he looked up from the papers, smiling, to give her a sloppy kiss.

Those two made him sick when they were together. Especially since his last long-time girlfriend had left him. But he didn't say anything. He just blinked slowly.

She laughed. "Hey, bro, I'll take that as a yes!" She smiled at Mituna. "Tunes, you wanna ditch this shit and go scope hotties in the UC?"

Mituna cackled. "That sounds rad, Latula!" He gave her another sloppy kiss. Kurloz narrowed his sunken eyes at him. "Kurly don't be a dumb! Just gonna go with Tula!" He scrunched his nose. How _dare_ he leave. He came here to see him. That and to find some new toys. Though his luck brought him his favorite toy of all. "Can't I go, please? You can come with!" Mituna cackled wildly. "We could find you someone to fuck, I bet you'd like that!"

Kurloz tilted his head back and forth. All he really wanted was a hit. And if he took one then he'd need someone to fuck, otherwise he'd be a ball of raging energy. While he was thinking, Latula looked at Kurloz and then back to Mituna, whispering something in his ear. He didn't like that girl. She did a lot more for his little friend than he could, or rather would. If ever he was given the opportunity he _could _do those things for Mituna. But the boy wasn't his type. He was too headstrong. He needed someone weak or malleable. Preferably both.

Fuck he missed Meulin. Maybe she was somewhere in the city yet. He looked at Mituna and cocked an eyebrow. The boy smiled showing off sharp canines and his chipped tooth. Kurloz didn't like that the accident had left physical reminders, but it was strangely comforting to see him smile. "Kurlz we can get you laid. You could use my room!" He kissed Latula again. "We can just stay at her place." He snickered.

Latula squealed and pushed him a little. "Babes I _love_ the way you think!" She looked at Kurloz and bit her lip. "Whacha say, KL? Want me to find you some nice girl to get a little bump and grind on with?" He shook his head. "You... Wanna come with us to find one then?" He shrugged a shoulder again and put his hands in his pockets, fidgeting with his lighter and his pipe.

He looked at Mituna and just gestured with his hand that he was leaving. He knew the boy understood. Even if he didn't he'd get it when he left.

He stood up and strode through the cafeteria, turning a few heads with his wild hair and his skull paint. He loved it. He could sense the fear radiating off of them. Some of them looked like they didn't even want him to look their way. But he made sure to look at as many of them as he could.

As he went past the suite buildings, he saw his cousin standing around with two much shorter people and went to him. Raising his eyebrows he just stared at him, skull-face meeting clown makeup. His cousin gave his a wide, lazy grin and gave a deep, throaty stoner laugh. "Hey, cuz. What you all up and doing in this mother fucking crazy town?"

Kurloz shook his head. He hated dealing with his cousin when he was stoned or high. He was so much stronger sober. So much more able to play with him. To help him break his toys.

"Cuz, you ain't gonna up and say nothing to me? What I all up and motherfucking do?" He slung an arm around each of his shorter companions' shoulders, leaning forward. "You here to play?" Kurloz nodded. "Hey, Kur-bro, I just gotta say that you oughta up and leave my best motherfucking friends alone." His eyes narrowed and Kurloz realized that he wasn't as stoned as he'd thought. Wasn't that a relief. His cousin rubbed the shoulders of his companions. "Now, cuz, we're gonna up and blow straight out this motherfucking popsicle stand." They turned to leave, his arms still in place, but he turned his head to look back. "Hey Kur-bro? I know you got the shit. Meet me at that miraculous fountain tonight so we can shoot it." And with that they left.

Kurloz laughed under his breath. He knew that Gamzee would have problems on his own. The first year or so was understandable, but now it was just ridiculous. The boy couldn't live without his crutch to keep him calm. He must have run out weeks ago, though.

He walked through the campus, looking at people as they walked past and just trying to find one that fit his criteria. He found a deserted section and took a seat in the grass to take out his pipe and smoke for a while. The smoke filled his lungs quickly and already he could feel more and was hyper-aware. That was the only reason that he realized he wasn't alone. The sound was coming from behind him. Nothing loud. Just a faint rustling of fabric, but it was enough to get his attention.

He got up and moved in the direction of the sound, finding a girl who'd apparently had a very similar idea to his laying a few feet up the hill. She wasn't unattractive. Her face was round with full, red lips and almond shaped eyes while her body was all soft curves under an old school uniform that looked like it used to fit, but she'd since filled out. She smirked at him and bit her lip, saying something in a language he didn't quite understand and patting the ground next to her.

He sat down next to her and she put a hand on his thigh, rubbing her way up to his groin. That was a change. Usually he was the one to initiate randoms like this. He pulled her onto his lap and she laughed, a high, cackling sound then whispered in his ear in heavily accent English. "We go back to my room?"

He growled deep in his throat and nodded. If that's what he had to do to fuck then he would. They walked back to the suites and into the faded purple building, going up the stairs to the third floor.

She was a good fuck once they'd gotten going. He hadn't done anything quite as rough as that in years. She seemed to want to hurt him as badly as he wanted to hurt her. After a few rounds, their bodies both battered and bruised, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out his stash, snorting a line off the back of his hand and licking off what was left. He looked back down at the bed and realized that this easy lay was probably what he was going to need to play with his favorite toy again.

He was ready to break that toy. And someone as ready to fuck as her would be perfect.

He smiled broadly and started to laugh, deep and rumbling. The girl sat up and wrapped her arms around him, her eyebrows arched. Once he was done laughing, he turned around and pinned her back to the bed. "What would you say to breakin' motherfuckin' some spirits with me?"

She smiled. "Depends. What's in it for me?"

He smiled, eyes wide and teeth showing. "You'll get a feelin' of satisfaction from the destruction of the weak." He leaned forward, biting at a nipple, which elicited a drawn out moan from her. He looked back up. "Plus we could have more rounds of fucking like we just all up and motherfuckin' did."

She hummed. "Who do we break?"

He laughed and pressed closer to her, his emaciated body digging into her soft curves. "I think we could break any motherfucker we wanted." He moved a hand between her legs, rubbing at her with a long finger. "But I've got a favorite toy that's long past its motherfuckin' breakin' point and I think we should fix that."

She pressed into his finger and laughed. "I like the idea. When do we start?"

He chuckled. "Once we're done here. I'm up for a few more rounds here." He moved his finger a little faster and then moved it away to connect the two of them.

His plan was already coming together. Once the two of them had broken his favorite toys, he would break her. She was a little more strong willed than his usual toys, but she was a demon in the sack. It was going to be a fun couple months while he stayed at this campus.

Fuck, he should have gone to college sooner. Even if he wasn't _actually _going, the people around him were all vulnerable and horny, which made the perfect combination to break them.


	51. A New Man Has Doubts

Cronus sat in his room a few days after Kankri had told him about his dreams. They'd been keeping their distance from each other since Cronus was worried that he wouldn't be able to keep from touching Kankri. He texted him.

_hey babe, you vwanna get some food?_

_N9, Cr9nus. I am 6usy w9rking 9n my Calculus._

_uh yeah okay. guess ill talk to you later then?_

_Yes. N9w I must take my leave. I have t9 meet a study gr9up._

_see you later, babe. lovwe you._

_I l9ve y9u t99._

That was reassuring. His short responses had been worrying him, and all that Cronus wanted to do was to go down to his room and hold him or kiss him or even just be in the same room. He tucked his phone in his pocket and got ready to go outside. It was starting to get a little chilly and it just gave him an excuse to wear his favorite leather jacket. He tucked his lighter, which he'd _finally_ gotten fluid into, and his cigarettes in one pocket, while his wallet and keys went in the other.

He left his room and sauntered to the dining hall, ready to just sit in his solitude and brood for a little while. Maybe he'd sketch a little. No, he'd probably start composing a new song in his head while he ate. He went quickly through the line. It was eight at night, so there honestly were only a few stragglers there. After getting his food, he sat at a booth on his own, feet thrown up on the seat across from him when a rather curvaceous dame slid in across from him. He made a face. She certainly was hot, but what the _fuck_ was she doing there? "Can I help you, doll?"

She smiled, red painted lips parting to reveal shockingly white teeth beneath. "You're Cronus, yes?" Her accent was thick, though Cronus wasn't sure what it was. Something Asian that probably ended with -nese or -ean.

"Yeah, I'm Cronus, in the flesh, babe. What can I do you for?" She knew who he was. That meant that he _had_ to give her the time of day.

She rested head in her hands while her elbows sat on the table. "Kankri sent me."

"What? Why the fuck would Kan send you?"

"I'm his very good friend." She closed her eyes and her grin widened. "I just got back from his room. We had good studying."

"What? But he... He just told me that he was going to a study group for Calc..."

"Oh? I don't know about that, but we studied long and hard." She made a little noise in her throat. "It was _so_ good studying with him." She bit her lower lip and suddenly he felt like she was implying something other than studying.

And he didn't fucking like that. He spoke through his teeth. "So how do you know Kan exactly?"

"Hmm? He's in my Anatomy class. He's _very_ good at it." Again that tone. That tone implying something. He didn't trust it. He didn't trust _her_, but the fact that she was making him not trust Kankri was the most troubling

He took a drink of his soda, but didn't break his line of vision with her. "Yeah, he's pretty good with shit like that." He clicked his tongue against his teeth. "He gets pretty uncomfortable with a lot of it, too, though."

She shrugged. "He seemed comfortable with me." She brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"What are you even fuckin' doin' here?"

She laughed, a crystal sound. "Kankri sent me to tell you that he won't be coming to your room for some time. He wants more space. Needs it. Wants to be with his very good friends. I think he just wants more good study time." She smirked. "I enjoy my study time with him. His anatomy lessons are very good."

Cronus sighed. This chick shouldn't be getting to him. But she just had this way of getting under his skin. He couldn't help it. He'd always been the jealous type. The thought that there was even an iota of truth to her story made him want to get up and strangle her. Instead reached into his pocket and put a cigarette in his mouth. Sure, he couldn't light it, but it fell good to have something between his teeth to keep him from chewing on his tongue. "Yeah, I'm sure that he has the greatest time in the world explainin' just how the fuckin' nervous system works. I bet he gives long fuckin' lectures on it and everythin' don't he?"

"Oh he doesn't lecture me." She bit her lower lip. "He speaks so kindly when we study."

"Yeah, and he speaks kindly when he thinks people are too fuckin' retarded to understand what he normally says, too, but that don't make them special."

"But I am special. We're good friends." She raised her eyebrows. "_Very_ good friends."

He frowned. "Yeah you said that already. And you might be his very good friend but I'm his fuckin' _boyfriend_."

She furrowed her brow. "Oh? He never mentioned you as anything but a good friend. I think maybe you should think about what that means for the two of you." She slid out of the seat and as she moved to leave, she put her hand on his shoulder. "If you want you can come to my room when you're lonely." She smirked. "I would love to get to know you better." And with that she left.

Cronus watched as she left, her hips swaying back and forth enticingly. He looked back at his food. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. He pick up all of the food he had left and threw it away, sulking out of the dining hall. He lit his cigarette and took a long draw of it. He couldn't believe what she'd been insinuating. Kankri wouldn't do anything like _that_.

Though he didn't really know. He'd said that he wasn't gay. Was he just some experiment to Kankri? Was he just some passing thing for him? Maybe he only had issues with other men because of _him_. Maybe Cronus really _was_ just an experiment.

He took another long drag while he walked, letting the smoke tendrils drift from his nose and mouth as he walked.

This was the last thing that he needed. He didn't need this doubt. Or the worry. All that he needed was to go to Kankri's room.

He just didn't want to be alone.


	52. Someone Different Sends a Text

Kankri sat in Anatomy with the girl that had deemed herself his best friend. He didn't really know how to feel about that, but she seemed nice enough. He'd been tutoring her since the beginning of the semester at the request of his TA, and it seemed like it had helped her, though she was very pushy with boundaries. He didn't like that. At all. He slapped her hand away from his shoulder while he took notes on the lecture. He really thought that she should get to work; it was just so hard to tutor someone that didn't put forth any effort. But he wouldn't say anything as he didn't want to offend her.

While he was taking notes, he was doing his best to keep his mind off of Cronus. He really did want to contact him, though the past week and a half had been a strain on both of them. The first few days after Kurloz had shown up and Kankri had had his dream, he didn't want to be near Cronus as he felt that it would be unfair to his partner, though after those days, Cronus had been the one initiating the distance. He'd been sitting further from him in classes and not returning his texts, though when he did they were short and curt.

Kankri was beginning to worry that he'd upset him with the distance they'd had in the first few days there. He shook his head to snap out of it and realized that the lecture had been over for a few minutes. Packing his things, he pulled out his phone. There was a next text. Excitedly, he looked at it hoping that it was from Cronus, but was only a little disappointed when he saw that it was Suddhindra. He texted back while he walked back to his dormitory.

_Hello brother! :)_

_Hell9, Suddhindra. What d9 y9u want?_

_Do I have to want something? Can't a guy just text his little brother? :(_

_I supp9se that y9u may, th9ugh I'm still w9ndering why._

_I wanted to invite you out to meet someone! She's very nice and I hope that you like her. I know I like her. :)_

_I h9pe that y9u are n9t intending t9 set me up on s9me s9rt 9f r9mantic excusi9n._

_Oh no, it's nothing like that! I just want you to meet her. You could bring your friend from dinner last week if you want. He was spunky. :)_

_I'm n9t 6ringing Cr9nus._

_Fair enough, suit yourself! But I still want you to come out with us tonight if you could! I wanted to talk to you about something. I've already told Porrim. :)_

_9h? And what w9uld that 6e?_

_A surpise! ;)_

_I see. I supp9se that I c9uld j9in y9u this evening._

_Why wait? Let's get together now. I want to tell you my something before you meet this mystery lady. :)_

_Fine. When?_

_How about now! I'm actually in my car by your building. Just meet me there. :)_

_I can see y9u fr9m here. I'll 6e there m9mentarily._

_See you soon! :D_

He put his phone back in his pocket and went to Suddhindra's car. He knocked lightly on the window and his brother waved, then opened the door. "Hello, Suddhindra."

"Hello little brother!" He smiled as he put the car in drive. "How are you today?"

"I'm not unwell."

"But you're not feeling well either, are you?"

Kankri frowned and looked at the passing scenery. "Not really."

"Tell me what's wrong. You know you can tell me anything."

"I know. It's just a very personal matter and I don't know if you would view me the same way or if this could trigger or offend you!"

"Kankri. You know what offends me. So say it aloud for me."

"People that talk at the theater and... children's choir concerts?"

Suddhindra shuddered a little. "Children's choir concerts are terrible. I don't understand them at all." He shook his head and made a disgusted noise.

"I know that you don't like them."

"Then you know that they're one of the only things that I hate." He glanced over. "So tell me: what's wrong?" He smiled kindly.

Kankri took a deep breath and let it out. "It's a long story."

"We've got time."

"Very well..." Kankri started from the very beginning. From his first meeting with Cronus to the last time he'd seen him in class. When he was done, he could feel tears stinging his eyes. Suddhindra had pulled the car over on the side of the road and parked looking at him. Studying him. He scratched at the stubble on his chin, thinking.

"So then. I was right. Mostly."

"What?"

"About You and Cronus." He smiled calmly.

"Wait... You _knew_?"

"Well you did have quite the hickey on your neck and he did keep staring at your mouth when you spoke."

"What?" Kankri was flabbergasted

"Just an observation. So then the two of you are dating. And you haven't seen much of each other lately?"

"We're not dating! We're just..."

"So then it's all about getting to a stage where you can screw him?"

"No!" Kankri's face had flushed a deep shade at the implication.

"Then you are...?"

"Partners. He's... He's my partner."

"And you love him?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't you talk to him?"

"Because he won't talk to me."

Suddhindra rolled his eyes as he started the car and got back on the road. "Don't be so _fucking_ childish, Kankri. If you love him and he loves you, then just go to his room and ask just what it is that's going on."

Kankri's eyes darted to the floor. "I just... I simply don't know about _any_ of this!" He leaned forward and laced his fingers behind his neck. "Can we please just talk about something else?"

"Of course." Suddhindra looked ahead seriously, though his expression quickly changed back to a wide grin as he bit his lip. "So I have some rather selfish news. At least in light of your current circumstance."

Kankri continued to stare at the floor. "And what's that?"

"I've met someone."

"And?"

"And she's _wonderful_." He sighed. "Her name is Diandra Leijon and I met her in my mission group." He smiled as they pulled into the parking lot. "I think I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Kankri frowned. "As wodnerful as this news may be, I am finding it rather triggering with my current unknown relationship status."

"Kankri, the only way to know what's going on is to talk to him. Go ahead and send him a text now. Tell him that you want to talk so that you can figure out what's going on." He swallowed hard as he pulled out his phone and stared at it. "This is someone that's been where you are now and lived through it. Just do it."

Kankri tapped out a message with precision and sent it.

_We need t9 talk._

There. Short. Sweet. To the point. With absolutely no way that it could be triggering at all. None. No way at _all_.

He and Suddhindra went into the restaurant and took a seat at a table so they could have a nice, brotherly chat.


	53. A New Man Starts to Break

**_Author's Note:_**_ The song is Love You by The Free Design. You can find it pretty quick on YouTube if you type that in. Give it a listen when Cro's listening._

* * *

Cronus sat in his room working on a new song. His old rings were on his fingers. They were tight, but he'd only put them on out of boredom. He hadn't worn them since his junior year of high school and they were strangely comforting. The way the sunlight gleamed on them relaxed him a little, but his mind wasn't there. It was on the chick that had talked to him days earlier about Kankri.

She'd called herself Kankri's very good friend and had really pissed him off; his music was really showing that. Where he'd wanted it to be smooth and calm, everything was turning out jagged and aggressive. He closed out of the program and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one without even thinking about the fact that he was indoors.

He took a long drag and held the smoke in, letting it calm him down. He moved to the center of the room and laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling with his arms folded behind his head. He held the cigarette between his teeth as he took a drag and let it out slowly.

A knock at the door to the lounge.

He really didn't want to answer that, but he knew they wouldn't go away. He really hoped it wasn't Kurloz. He snubbed the cigarette out in his ashtray and walked over to the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open, slowly. Just Mituna.

"Tula made me come here to tell you not to smoke."

"What?"

"Latula! My girlfriend." Smiled smugly.

"Well you can tell her that she can go fuck herself. I'm sure your retard junk ain't up for the task anyway."

Mituna shoved him. "I'M NOT A RETARD!"

Cronus stumbled back a little but was otherwise unphased. He was looking for a fight. He wanted to hit something. "You sure you ain't, chief? Last I checked you ain't exactly firin' on all pistons, yeah?"

Mituna hit him square in the jaw, knocking him to the floor. He hadn't been expecting him to hit first. That pissed him off a little. He spoke from the floor. "You shouldn't of fuckin' done that, chief." He pushed off the floor and was in Mituna's face. "You _really_ shouldn't of done that."

Mituna snarled down at him. "Hit me with your best shot, Scarface!"

Cronus smirked. It wasn't the first time he'd been called that. He clenched a ringed hand into a fist and pulled it back. "Well if I'm Scarface, _then say hello to my little fuckin' friend_!" He swung and hit him in the face, his rings tearing a little at the skin. He stared down at him, smiling wickedly. "Now go fuck yourself." He heard footsteps and looked up towards them. It was that chick that had the stupid sunglasses. She pulled Mituna up and he slumped against her.

She stared Cronus down. "Boy, I don't care _who_ you are. You did _not_ just do what I think you did."

He snorted. "Well I sure as fuck did, doll. What're you gonna do about it?"

Her full lips pulled back into a girn. "I will fucking kill you."

"What?"

"_No one_ does that to my Tunes and gets away with it." She put her hand in his hair.

He smirked and snorted again. "So you're gonna do what?"

She help Mituna to the couch then turned her head. "I told you already. I will fucking kill you." Her voice was even and her smile was still there as she walked back to Cronus.

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll ki—!" He was cut off by a swift punch to the stomach, causing him to double over and cough.

She put a hand on his back. "Now if I ever see you even _thinking_ about hurting my rad boy again, you will never be able to walk again." Her face was still amicable, even through the threats.

"You crazy fuckin' bitch!"

"You're the one that hit my man in the face and cut his face up."

He coughed again. "I think you burst my fuckin' _lung_."

"And it would serve you right." She laughed.

He just groaned and fell forward. "Just leave me alone to wallow in my fuckin' misery, you heartless bitch!"

"Whatever you say. Just never come near my boy like that again." Her grin was still wide as she closed the door in front of Cronus.

He laid there, hands gripping his stomach and wishing that the day was over. He heard his phone chime on his desk and he frowned. Who the fuck would text him today? He pushed off the ground and went over to his desk. He just stared at his phone as it chimed again. After a few minutes, he sighed and finally picked it up.

He stared at it in his hand. It was Kankri. It had to be. But he didn't know if he could answer it. He took another deep breath and let it out. He unlocked his phone and looked at the text. He dropped his phone when he saw it.

_We need t9 talk._

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck _fuck_!

He couldn't believe it.

He knew there was a possibility of it happening, but he didn't think that it was going to happen so fucking soon. Kankri wanted to break up with him.

He slumped to the floor, hands gripping tightly at his hair. He was trying to breath deeply but could feel himself starting to hyperventilate. He reached for his phone and dug through it for music. Something. Anything. He needed to listen to something happy. _There_.

He hit play and took another deep breath. The Free Design saved the day again.

Shaking, he went back to his messages and carefully picked what he was going to say. If Kankri wanted to end it, then he was going to give him a piece of his fucking mind in _person_. No way would he let this end over a fucking text.

He looked at what he'd written.

_fuckin fine by me, kan. vwhen you vwant me to come to your room?_

He sent it. The ball was in Kankri's court again now.


	54. Someone Different Sets Things Right

Kankri sat in his room, tutoring his classmate. She was being particularly obstinate and was just lounging on her back in his bed. He heard his phone buzz and looked at it. Cronus had finally responded to him, _hours_ after his initial text.

_fuckin fine by me, kan. vwhen you vwant me to come to your room?_

Kankri chewed on his lip and responded.

_Yes. Please c9me here p9sthaste. We have much t9 discuss._

_yeah got it. im on my vway._

_Let y9urself in. I'm 9nly studying._

He looked over to his bed. "Damara? I'm going to need you to please leave. My partner is coming and the two of us need to have a private conversation."

She rolled onto her stomach. "Oh, but I'm so comfortable here, Kankri!" She smirked. "I could hide. Be very very quiet?"

"No. Please leave."

She got off the bed and wandered over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "But I want to stay _here_."

He frowned and looked up at her. "Please, I've asked you to leave and I am beginning to find this contact incredibly triggeri—!" She cut him off by pressing a wet kiss to his lips and straddling his lap as the door opened.

When she pulled away and got off him. "I'll just be leaving now, darling. Bye!" She waved her fingers at him and pushed past Cronus.

Kankri got up and ran towards Cronus whose face was contorted into a scowl. "Cronus! That wasn't...!"

"I was fuckin' right. You were _fuckin_' cheatin' on me. With her." He shook his head and bit his lip. "I can't believe you fuckin' had it in you." His face softened and suddenly he just looked so small. "I'm just gonna go back to my fuckin' room." He turned to leave.

Kankri grabbed his shoulder. "Cronus, no! That wasn't what was going on!" He pulled him into his room and closed the door before he could leave.

"I'm sure it wasn't." His voice was small and his confidence drained. He laughed. "And I bet this is actually a dream. Let's see." He took his lighter out of his pocket.

"Cronus?"

"Go fuck yourself. What the fuck is even wrong with you? You invited me to your room to see you face fuckin' that chick?"

"_She_ kissed me!"

"I'm sure." He lit his lighter and stared at the flame.

"Cronus, it's the truth!" He watched as Cronus held his hand over the flame. "Don't you dare do that to yourself!"

"Why? What you gonna do? You don't even fuckin' care about me anyway."

Kankri growled in irritation. "I care about you, Cronus!" He pulled the lighter out of his hand and closed the cap on it. "And I don't want you to hurt yourself!"

He frowned. "Yeah I'm sure you fucking care." He was starting to drop his tough guy act. Kankri could tell.

"I do! Why else would I have asked you to come here?"

"Because we need to fucking _talk_. And I know what that fucking means. Not like this is the first time I've been dumped."

Kankri flinched a little. "_Dumped_? You think that I wanted you to come here so that I could break up with you?"

"Of course! Why else would you say that?"

He blinked rapidly in his confusion. "Because we... need... to talk?"

"Yeah? And that's just the _universal_ way to say that you're gonna fucking break up with someone!" He threw his hands in the air like he was done.

"What?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "You mean to tell me that you didn't know that?"

"No! I had no idea that what I had said had such implications!"

Cronus frowned. "So, what, you just actually wanted to talk?"

"Yes!"

He sighed heavily. "I don't believe you. I'm going back to my room."

"No!" He blocked the door.

"What?"

"You heard me! You're going to stay here and you're going to listen!" He stamped his foot and stared up at him.

"I don't _want_ to listen! You're just gonna _fucking __**lie**_! Just like everyone else does!"

"Cronus Ampora! You are going to sit _down_! You are going to be _quiet_! And YOU. Are _GOING_. To _fucking LISTEN_." He practically hissed the last word out as he backed Cronus to his bed.

Cronus stood dumbfounded and his eyes searched his face. "Babe you ain't never talked to me like that."

"Because I don't enjoy speaking this way! Now sit DOWN!" He shoved him onto the bed so he could talk to him at a better level. "Lately there's been some foolishness between us." His voice was level again as he tried to regain his usual calm.

"_Foolishness_?" Cronus's voice sounded almost hurt.

"Yes. _Foolishness_. Now I'm not entirely sure how this began or how it got to far out of hand, but it needs to stop."

Cronus ducked his head down. "You sure you ain't breakin' up with me?" His voice was small, almost painfully so.

"No, I'm _not _breaking up with you." He put his hands on Cronus's shoulders. "I'm telling you that, in this past week and a half or so, the two of us have been incredibly immature about responding to each other." Cronus mumbled something under his breath. "What was that?" He did it again. "I didn't quite catch that."

"I said:_ You_ started it!"

"Cronus I wasn't contacting you because I didn't want you to be hurt!"

"Well that didn't fuckin' work now, did it?!" His voice had come back and it was obvious that he was incredibly angry.

"You're acting like a child! You _know_ about my past and yet..."

"Your fucking past? Oh, so that fuckin' chick ain't triggerin' to you but _I_ am?"

"Exactly! Though I found her behavior to be _quite_ offensive, she was in no way triggering to me, as my trigger comes from unwanted sexual contact with male bodied persons!"

Cronus rolled his eyes and laid back. "Whatever."

"Don't you _dare_ whatever me!" He shoved Cronus back further and straddled his lap. "I do _not_ appreciate how you're handling this situation! I didn't contact you initially because I felt that any contact between the two of us, _no matter how much I may have appreciated_ _it_, could have proven to be highly triggering! And after the first few initial days I began contacting you again and _you_ were acting like a selfish ass!"

"_I_ was actin' like an ass? _YOU_ were the one that sent that fuckin' chick to tell me to fuck off and that you didn't wanna see me as much!"

"What? What are you even _talking _about?" His hands were on either side of his head while he kept his weight shifted down to keep Cronus from moving.

"You sent that fuckin' weird ass Asian bitch to tell me that you didn't want to see me!"

"Who?"

"That bitch that just had her fuckin' tongue down your throat!"

"Damara?" He frowned. "She's been acting stranger than usual lately. I don't think that I'll be tutoring her anymore."

"That don't fuckin' change what she said!"

"She was _lying_ Cronus! I've wanted to see you for quite some time again!"

"Why didn't you fuckin' tell her that we're partners?"

"Because she didn't need to know!"

"Why are you tutorin' her!"  
"Because English is her second language." He was just going to answer every question.

"Are you fuckin' her?"

"No."

"Do you want to?" He heard Cronus's voice hitch a little.

"No." He averted his gaze. "Though I have, on occasion, thought about that with you."

Cronus sighed. "Now ain't the time to make me want you, babe."

"I know."

He wrapped his arms around Kankri. "I'm okay to fuckin' hug you right?"

"Yes."

He pulled him down some. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes." He leaned forward and met Cronus's lips. Somehow he felt better in this position. He felt... safer.

Cronus pulled back, a frown on his face. "I'm so sorry babe."

Kankri laughed a little. "You should be." He leaned down and kissed him again, his lips moving slowly as his tongue brushed against Cronus's lips.

"Babe what are you doing?"

He shrugged some. "Making up for lost time."


	55. A New Man Makes Amends

Cronus laid on his back with his legs pinned under Kankri. He'd tried to reach up and pull him closer, but Kankri had slapped his hands away, pinning them to the bed as well. It still looked like he was upset. "Uh, Kan? Are you still mad at me?"

"I think so."

"And what are you gonna do to me?"

Kankri smiled. "I may just take control." He pulled his sweater over his head and threw it aside to unbutton his shirt.

"Are you sure about whatever it is you're gonna do, babe?"

He blinked slowly, his expression unreadable. "I'm quite sure." He unzipped and pulled his pants off, throwing them to the floor near his sweater, leaving him in his briefs and his now unbuttoned shirt.

"And, uh, what exactly is it that you're going to do?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I've never been upset at someone in this way." He rested his hands on Cronus's chest. "What would you do, were you in my position?"

Cronus chewed on his lips. "Honestly, babe? I'd storm the fuck outta the room and be pissed. But you. You deal with shit a lot more differently than I do." He reached his hands up and grabbed Kankri's hands, rubbing at his fingers.

Kankri swallowed. "I've _missed_ you, Cronus." He furrowed his eyebrows. "I told my brother about us." He sighed. "I think that he may have already known."

Cronus laughed a little, his eyes locked on Kankri. "I think he's known for a while, babe."

"I think you may be right." He relaxed on top of him, sinking down and resting their foreheads together.

"Hey? Kankri?" He felt strange using his full first name, but it felt like it was the right time to use it.

"Cronus?"

"I feel like a real fuckin' ass." He moved his hands under Kankri's shirt and to his waist, rubbing light circles against soft skin. "But babe? I really fuckin' missed you, too." He tilted his head and brought their lips together again, moving at a lazy pace and relishing the small noises that Kankri made.

He pulled away from the kiss with a small whine in his throat. "I'm just glad that you're back. I feel like it's been months and months since we last saw each other but it's only been a week and a half. We haven't even _known_ each other for months yet!" He pressed their lips together with more urgency.

Cronus returned the kiss until they both had to pull away for air. He stared into his eyes and felt pierced by the intensity of his reddish brown gaze. "Babe is there something wrong?"

He smiled weakly. "Not wrong so much as... I think that, perhaps, I would be willing to try..."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Try what?"

"To try being a little more intimate."

Cronus raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"But I want to go slowly."

"Of course, babe."

"And I want you to stop when I say to stop."

"Do you wanna, like, have a safety word? I mean, since you don't know like how you'll react to any of this?"

Kankri swallowed hard again, thinking. "I don't know what it would be."

Cronus laughed. "Well you could just say that I'm triggering you."

"That's not funny, Cronus. You _would _be triggering me."

"Which is _why_ it's perfect!"

"Not it isn't."

"Fine, then you could just shout trigger warning." He stuck out his tongue at Kankri and was surprised when it was taken into his mouth and given a light suck. He pulled his tongue back in his mouth. "Whoa, babe!"

"I think that that one should do." He took a deep breath and let it out. He kissed Cronus lightly, their lips moving against each other fluidly. Cronus moved his hands up his sides, pulling at the shirt and he took the cue to lift his arms and help shrug it off and letting it fall to the floor with the rest of his discard clothes.

He moved his hands to Cronus's pants, undoing the belt and then pulling the shirt from them. He sat up enough for Cronus to pull the jeans off and then moved back down for him to remove his shirt.

Cronus trailed his hands down Kankri's sides once they were in similar states of semi-nudity. He rubbed lightly at his skin, feeling the give at his touch and relishing the noises he made. He moved his lips against his partner's and let his tongue press between full, parted lips, sighing lustfully at the heat in his mouth. He pulled away with a grunt and started to suck on his neck. He listened as Kankri's breathing picked up and slid one of his hands up his side and to the smaller man's neck and resting it against his face.

Kankri stuck his tongue out and licked at one of his fingers lightly. He moved his hand so that it was his index finger positioned at his lips and was taken into his mouth, an eager tongue swirling around it and tracing it as he sucked it wantonly. Cronus moaned a little, imagining those lips and that tongue against his erection instead. He kissed Kankri's neck lightly and laid back a little, watching Kankri. "Babe. This is so fuckin' hot."

Kankri looked at him with half lidded eyes, his pupils dilated as he tried to focus on Cronus. He pulled off of Cronus's finger slowly, letting it rest against his lower lip as he spoke. "I'm glad that you find this attractive. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing, so I was rather worried."

Cronus just laughed. "Only you could talk that way and still turn me on, babe." He moved his hand to a warm cheek and pulled him down for a deep kiss. "But... I dunno. This..." His eyes darted around the room. "Somehow this don't feel right?" He sighed and threw his head back. "I never thought I'd be the one to say this, but maybe we shouldn't do this now."

"What?"

"Babe we just got back to seeing each other after not speaking for a week and a half. And, like, I know we both wanna right now, but I don't want you regrettin' this, yeah?" He leaned up and placed a light kiss against his lips.

"But I won't regret this."

"No, babe." He looked away. "Trust me, you will." He glanced back up at him. "As much as I want you to not regret it, you _will_."

"No, love. I won't."

He huffed. "If we do it like this you will." He smiled. "You're an atmospheric, slow movin' kinda guy, babe." He squeezed his side. "Besides we ain't got nothin' here to keep this nice and gentle, yeah? I ain't gonna fuck you senseless or nothin' just yet. I mean, have you seen my fuckin' cock?"

Kankri's face flushed darkly and he looked away from Cronus. "You know that I have."

"Then you know that it ain't exactly tiny." He laughed a little. "I don't wanna hurt you, okay?" He pressed a kiss against his shoulder. "I want it to feel for us both, yeah?"

Kankri looked back at him and smiled. "I think this is why I love you, Cronus."

"What?"

"Despite the way that you're sometimes _immensely_ offending, you somehow still manage to be sweet." He placed a gentle kiss against his lips. "And despite your obvious manipulation, I am going to agree with you. I can wait." He chewed at his lower lip. "But... I'd still like to do _something_ "

Cronus smirked. "I could always suck you off, babe."

He swallowed hard. "I... wouldn't be _opposed_."

"You maybe wanna do this quid quo pro?"

Kankri bit at his lip, thinking. "All right. But..." His face was even more flushed than it had been earlier, "..._not_ at the same time."

"I can live with that." He flipped Kankri onto the bed. "Now just sit back and relax, babe. I'm gonna make you feel really good." He kissed at his neck.

"Cronus?"

"Yeah babe?" He didn't move his mouth from his neck.

He smiled. "I love you."  
He laughed. "Love you more, babe." He began to kiss down his neck and chest.

The day sure had turned around quick.


	56. A New Man Comes Down Quickly

Cronus placed soft kisses down Kankri's torso, nipping and sucking at spots and drawing small keening noises from his partner. He licked lightly at a nipple then took it into his mouth, Kankri gasped as he sucked at it lightly and then blew a little on it. He smiled as he continued trailing light kisses over his body, relishing the noises coming from his chest and throat. When he reached the edge of Kankri's underwear, he looked up and met his eyes before sucking at his tip through the fabric.

He brushed his tongue there and put his hands under Kankri to grip at his ass, feeling the firm give under his fingers and giving it a light squeeze and eliciting a a moan from the other man. He smiled against the bulge against his tongue. "Oh you like it when I squeeze you ass like that?" He gave it another light squeeze and got much the same reaction. "Mm, babe, sit up." Kankri did as was asked of him and rested his hands on top of Cronus's head. "Yeah, just like that." He mouthed at the tip again and felt Kankri tighten his fingers in his hair and moaned against him.

He looked back up at him, smirking. "You sure get a little handsy when you're excited, babe." He pulled his underwear down and off. He took him in his mouth, gently sucking at the tip as he wrapped his hands under him again. Kankri wrapped his fingers in his hair, causing him to moan against his erection as he moved onto

He looked back up at him, keeping his eyes locked on his face as he took more of his length into his mouth, making lustful sounds against him as he moved and soaking in the moans that Kankri was making. One hand moved from supple flesh to a slightly firmer thigh, rubbing and squeezing at it as he lifted the leg over his shoulder to lean in closer. He couldn't help but to watch Kankri's face contorted with pleasure. His mouth opening and eyes rolling back.

He flattened his tongue against him and started to bob slowly as he kneaded at him. He went down further, preparing his throat to take in his entire length. He started humming and then took in the entire length, still kneading at his skin. He couldn't help but moan around him as he hit the back of hi throat. If there was one thing that he tended to keep secret, it was the fact that he actually loved doing this. He pulled back some to let his tongue writhe against Kankri.

A rough pull at his hair and a long, strangulated moan told him that something was changing for his partner. He increased his pace, alternating between deep throating and sucking lightly at his tip. He felt him twitch in his mouth and with a warning moan, he knew that he was about to cum. He pulled back, keeping his mouth on the tip and with a final, hard suck Kankri came in his mouth. He kept his mouth at the tip, letting him ride out his orgasm as he kneaded at him. Once he felt Kankri relax some and his erection began to wilt, he pulled off with an echoing pop and swallowed what was in his mouth. He took his hand off of the firm thigh and wiped at his mouth with the heel of his hand.

He smirked. "You liked that?"

Kankri panted and then just laughed at him. "Yes, Cronus. I quite enjoyed that."

"You'd never had _that _done, yeah?"

"No. Not like that. And only you."

Cronus crawled back on the bed. "Fuck, babe..." He straddled Kankri's lap. "I'm so fuckin' sorry about all that shit earlier."

"We're both in the wrong here, I think." He pressed a kiss against Cronus's lips but pulled back, making a face.

"What, don't like the taste of your own spunk?"

"You taste like come and cigarettes, love. It's a rather disgusting combination." He frowned.

"Hey, that's the price of datin' a smoker."

Kankri smiled. "I suppose so." He kissed him lightly. "I may be able to put up with such a disgusting habit." He glared at him. "That doesn't mean that I'm okay with you smoking around me."

"You sure babe? Because, uh, the first time we kissed you said that you didn't mind." He winked with a click.

"Just because I don't mind doesn't mean that I like it. Besides, you may be offending or triggering to..."

"Yeah babe we been over this already." He laughed and then kissed him deeply, making a contented noise in his throat.

Kankri shuddered a little. "Cronus... It appears that you are still... rather aroused." His face flushed. "Is there anything that I can do to help?"

"Nah, babe, I'm a big boy. I can handle this much on my own." He kissed him gently again.

Kankri frowned. "No, that isn't fair to you. I fear that I may be abusing some sort of privilege that I have as you continue to do this to me."

"No, it ain't nothin' like that! I just, uh, I just _like_ doin' that." He kissed him again. "I think a shrink told me once that I had like an oral fixation? It makes sense thinkin' about it. I mean I actually _really_ love suckin' cock." He laughed a little, as he felt his own face turning red. "You know that I ain't never said that before? Feels a little weird."

"Though I... appreciate your fixation, I feel that I should somehow return the favor." He looked over at his desk. "I may have some lotion if you'd like t—"

"I ain't gonna do that, babe. Not today."

"I was _going_ to say if you'd like to... how did you phrase it? Come between my thighs? Then... you may."

"You sure, abbe?"

He swallowed. "Yes."

"Then don't fuckin' mind if I do." He pulled his boxers down and then leaned over, grabbing Kankri's hand lotion off the desk. He looked over at Kankri. "Hey, uh, you mind movin' so you're not danglin' off the edge there?" He pumped lotion into his hand and began to rub it against his length as Kankri repositioned himself. "That's perfect, babe. Now just keep your legs together." Kankri did as he was told. "All right. Now, usually, you do shit like this with the receivin' partner, meanin' _you_, on their hands and knees facin' away. But I know that you're not cool with that."

Kankri nodded, swallowing. "Cronus, I'm going to trust you." He flipped so that he was on all fours. "If I ask you to stop, then please do."

Cronus leaned forward, kissing lightly at his spine. "Sure thing, babe." He pressed Kankri's thighs together, then moved his hands back to his ass as he pressed his lotion coated member between his thighs and started thrusting, his breath picking up. With each fleshy slap, he grunted and gave a hard squeeze. He reached one hand around to Kankri's front, feeling at his growing erection again and pumping at a steady pace in time with his thrusts. He leaned forward with a moan. "Oh, babe, you're just lovin' this ain't you?"

Kankri gave a breathy moan in affirmation as his own cock twitched, causing Cronus to thrust and pump harder.

Cronus could feel the heat pooling in his abdomen and leaned down, pressing into Kankri with a long moan as he came long and hard. He panted against his back, laughing a little. "Shit, babe, that was almost embarrassin'ly fast." He pressed another kiss to his spine as he continued to pump fluidly at Kankri until he came on his hand. "Seems like you liked it too, though, yeah?"

Kankri huffed and puffed a weak response. "Yeah." He moaned in the afterglow. "That was... strange. I felt connected to you... So strongly..." He put a hand against one that Cronus had moved to his stomach. "It felt like so much, though."

Cronus toppled next to him. "It felt fuckin' perfect to me, babe." He placed a kiss against his neck.

He hoped that, soon, it would be the right time and they'd be prepared to go all the way. But for now he was content laying in his afterglow next to the man he loved with their limbs intertwined and their breath lost between panting and gentle kisses.


	57. A New Man is Surprised

Cronus woke up next to Kankri, arms still wrapped around him. He cleared his throat and rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand. He smiled when he saw that Kankri was sound asleep. He pressed a light kiss to his lips and brushed a strand of loose hair out of his face. It was nice to see him sleeping. He just looked so peaceful and he wanted to just lay there with him all day. But he needed a cigarette. He moved over him and looked at the mess that they'd made. That was going to be nasty to clean up.

He picked up his pants and pulled them on. He patted his pockets and found his keys, wallet, cigarettes and lighter. Perfect. He looked back down at Kankri. He didn't want to just _leave_, that'd be a complete dick move. Instead he leaned down and kissed the back of his neck. "Babe?" Kankri groaned softly. "Hey, you okay there babe?"

He groaned again and rolled over. "I'm fine. I was just sleeping." He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "What is it?"

"I was just gonna go snag a smoke."

He sighed. "I'll go with you."

"Say what?"

He sat up, stretching. "I'll go with you."

"No, babe, I heard you. I just don't know if you heard you."

"I did. And I have opted to go with you while you partake in your disgusting habit." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stepped onto the floor.

"Babe you should just go take a fuckin' shower first; you're a _mess_."

Kankri pulled his underwear and pants on, then looked at Cronus. "I'm fine."

Cronus shrugged. "Okay, babe. Whatever you say." Kankri picked up Cronus's shirt and pulled it over his head. "Whoa, babe, what are you doin' there?"

"I'm getting dressed."

"That's my shirt."

Kankri smiled, biting his lip. "So it is."

Cronus shrugged and grabbed Kankri's discarded sweater, pulling it over his head. "This is a little short, babe." He laughed at his exposed stomach, but just pulled the sweater down a little and his pants up some. "There. Perfect!" He smiled broadly.

Kankri's face flushed. "That sweater is quite fetching on you."

Cronus pulled him against his chest. "And you look pretty hot in that shirt." He pulled him into a kiss, moving his lips slowly and occasionally brushing his tongue against his lips. Kankri leaned into the kiss with a hum, moving his lips against Cronus's. He parted his lips and let his tongue meet his partner's. They pulled apart, their tongues sliding away from each other one last time.

Kankri smiled up at him. "You know, Cronus, you are a wonderful boyfriend."

Cronus's face lit up. "You just called me your _boyfriend_, Kan!"

"So I did. And?"

"And? _And_? It's always been partner with you." He chewed on his lip. "I feel like it's just a big thing somehow." He kissed him lightly and pulled back smiling. "Now let's get outside, I really need a fuckin' cig." He slung his arm over Kankri's shoulder as they left.

They sat under a tree as Cronus lit his cigarette and took a drag from it. Kankri watched him and reached over, pulling it from his lips and staring at it. "Hey, babe, give that back! I was smokin' that..." He pouted a little. Kankri rolled it between his thumb and middle finger, then brought it to his lip, inhaling and holding the smoke for a little while, letting it out slowly. Cronus raised his eyebrows. "Wow. Babe. That was kinda hot." He smirked.

Kankri looked back at him. "Was it?"

"Have you fuckin' done that before?"

He shrugged. "I'd tried smoking early in high school as a form of rebellion, but it really did nothing for me."

"Seriously?"

"It's a disgusting habit. I only ever smoked one or two a week. Porrim told me that it would help calm my nerves. She was right on that count, but I've since found better ways to calm them." He took another drag and let the smoke out in a cascade.

"Fuck, babe, you seriously look _hot_ smokin' like that."

Kankri raised his eyebrows. "Thank you, I suppose." He took another drag and spoke while he let it out. "I suppose that I could say the same about you." He coughed a little, small puffs of smoke coming out with exhale.

Cronus patted his back, trying to help. "Whoa babe, no reason to cough out a lung!" He smiled at him as he took out another cigarette and whipped out his lighter, but he couldn't get it to light. "Fuckin' piece a shit lighter!" He looked at Kankri. "Hey babe, you could you monkey fuck me here?" Kankri's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "Whoa! I mean light my fuckin' cig with the one you bummed from me! I didn't! I _wouldn't_!"

Kankri regained his composure, though his face was flushed darkly. "Of course." They each put their cigarettes in the mouths and pressed the tips together. Cronus couldn't help but keep his eyes open, watching the way that Kankri's lips wrapped around the end.

They sat in silence for some time, each taking drags of their cigarettes. Cronus watch Kankri as he smoked, the smog circling him in a grey haze. He smiled as he exhaled, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. "Hey babe?"

"Yes?"

"I got some, uh, _errands_ to run."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I just gotta run into town and get some things." He leaned over when Kankri took the cigarette out of his mouth and pressed a smoky kiss to his mouth. He was surprised that he didn't flinch away, but he wasn't going to complain. "I'll be back later. We can make out some if you want." He winked.

Kankri rolled his eyes and snubbed out the cigarette. "We'll see. Would you like me to go with you on your errands?"

"Uh, no babe. I got this. But I'm totally takin' this sweater. I _rock_ the dork look." He kissed him again but heard someone booing in the distance. He pulled away and looked to where the noise was coming from. There were a couple frat boys sitting across the way from them and he walked over to them. "You boys got a problem?"

One of them laughed. "Oh, the faggot gonna do something to us?"

"No, but the fuckin' pissed off Brooklyn boy is gonna kick your fuckin' ass."

One got up, probably the taller one. He couldn't tell while they were sitting. But even if he _was_ taller, he was still shorter than Cronus. "No, we're gonna fuck _you_ up, fag boy. You and that little Al'Qaeda motherfucker."

Cronus's eyes went wide. "What you say about him?"

"You heard me."

Cronus put the cigarette back in his mouth. "Don't fuck with me, chief." He cracked his knuckles.

"Oh I didn't plan on it, cock sucker." He took a swing at him and hit him in the shoulder.

That was the _fourth_ fucking time he'd been hit in the past _fucking day_. "That's it. You don't get to fuck with me! I'm from Brooklyn!" He brought his fist back and went to swing forward, but felt something catch his arm. He looked back. "Kan?"

"Cronus, despite the highly offensive language that these two have been using, this isn't worth it."

The one still sitting laughed. "Oh the little terrorist got your balls in his pocket, Guido?"

Cronus clenched his fists again and pulled the cigarette from his mouth, holding it back for Kankri. "Here, babe, hold my cig."

Kankri took it and held onto it. "I'll hold your cigarette love, kick his ass."

Cronus smirked and cracked his neck, then he took his swing.

Needless to say, the rings still on his fingers left some horrible marks and the two went down without much of a fight.

He stood over them, smirking and took his cigarette back, drawing a long drag from it. "I think that they deserved that, right?"

"I don't know, but let's get out of here."

"Yeah babe, let's."

They went back into the building. Cronus was glad that Kankri hadn't stopped him, though he was beginning to wonder if he was a bad influence on him.

"Cronus?"

"Huh? What babe?"

They were back in Kankri's room. "I asked if you still were going to run those errands."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah I was."

"In that case I'm going to call Porrim. I feel that I have a few things that I need to talk with her about." His face flushed.

Cronus smiled. "Yeah, sure babe." He leaned in and kissed him. "Sorry about earlier. Those guys were just so..."

"I know." He took a deep breath. "And though I deplore violence I feel that it may have been the only thing keeping us from suffering the same fate."

"Yeah, I don't think they expected a queer boy to hit so fuckin' hard." He laughed a little.

"Just promise me that you won't make that into a habit."

"I promise, babe." He kissed him deeply, running a hand over his cheekbone as their lips moved against each other. "Now I gotta go. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay. If I think of anything that I need could you pick it up for me? I'll pay you back when you return."

"Yeah sure. You don't gotta worry about payin' me back none, though. It ain't my money I'm spendin' anyway."

"I'm still going to."

"Of course you are babe. Now I gotta _go_."

Kankri kissed him as he stood at the door. "Of course."

"I love you. I'll be back later."

"I love you, too. Farewell."

Cronus went to his room and fixed his hair, then he went out to his car. He was still wearing Kankri's sweater, but it was just so _warm_ and it smelled like him. It was nice. He got into the car and started it, making his way out to the pharmacy where he'd first gotten Kankri to go on a date with him.


	58. Someone Different Confides in a Friend

Kankri sat in his room on his laptop. He could still had the acrid taste of the cigarette in his mouth, but he didn't care. He needed to talk to Porrim, and Skype felt more instantaneous than sending a text. He scrolled through his contacts and _there_. She was online. Perfect. He opened up a window and started typing at her.

_Porrim, I'm afraid that I may need to speak with you ASAP._

_Things have happened Porrim._

_Big things._

_Major things._

_Things that I need to talk to you about._

_Please respond I really need to speak with you._

_Kanny calm do+wn, I'm here. What's wro+ng?_

_I may or may not have done something that I'm not entirely sure if I was ready for._

_Kanny we've talked abo+ut this. If yo+u're do+ing it, yo+u can SAY it. What did you do? I assume it was so+mething with Cro+nus._

_I would rather not say in a message._

_O+h by the Go+ddess, Kanny! Why wo+uldn't y+u just co+me here then?_

_Because I had no desire to interrupt anything that may be occurring with you at the moment._

_There's no+ o+ne here but me if that's what yo+u're implying, yo+u little slut shamer._

_No nothing of the sort I just didn't want to be a bother._

_Yo+u're always a bo+ther, Kankri, but I still lo+ve yo+u. Just get o+ver here._

_I'd rather, if at all possible, that you come here._

_I ho+pe yo+u kno+w that I just let o+ut the DEEPEST o+f sighs, but that I'll be there so+o+n. Be ready to+ let me in._

_Thank you, Porrim._

She had logged out before even responding and he walked to the front door, still wearing Cronus's shirt. He waited there for a while and was glad when she finally showed up. He let her in and they went to his room without another word, though she had made a face at him as he let her in. Once in his room, he locked the door and they went to the lounge. She raised her eyebrows as she sat on the couch next to him. "All right, Kanny, what _have_ you done?" She scrunched her nose. "If my inference is even close then it's something big."

He shook his head. "What are you thinking it is I've done?"

She smirked at him. "Well just from your _smell_..."

"My smell?" His eyes widened.

"Kankri you smell like sweat and come." She laughed a little.

He rolled his eyes. "I most certainly do not!"

"You're also wearing Cronus's shirt."

"So?"

"So, have you?"

"Have I?"

She sighed again and gave an exaggerated eye roll. "You know what I'm talking about, Kankri. Have the two of you had sex yet?"

"No!" His face flushed darkly. He looked away.

"Then what have the two of you done?"

He chewed at his lip idly. "He... We fought yesterday and then I may have initiated more intimate contact than I may be accustomed to, though it wasn't anything to that level."

"Just say it."

He took a deep breath and spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "He... He deep throated me."

She raised her eyebrows. "That's impressive." She made a popping sound with her lips. "Anything else?"

He nodded. "...my thighs."

"What was that about your thighs now?"

"He... came... Between them." He looked away.

She put an arm around him. "You were okay with that?"

He nodded. "Yes. It was... Interesting. Not what I'd expected."

She furrowed her brow a little. "The inner-workings of exclusively male relationships have always been strange to me. I really can't imagine that being terribly comfortable." She closed her eyes and smiled. "Though if you enjoyed it then that's all that matters." She pressed a light kiss in his messy hair.

"I... I suppose so, Porrim, though..."

"Though?"

"I may have told him that I was ready."

"As in ready-ready?"

"Yes." He laughed nervously. "I'm not sure if I really am, though. We were both so _heated_ then and... I felt better about it all in the position we were in at the time and..." He sighed. "I think that I may just be more comfortable with Cronus in that way than I ever have been in my life." He shook his head. "I'm not sure what it all means."

She laughed a little. "You just care about him a lot, Kankri."

"I _love_ him, Porrim."

"I'm glad." She ran her fingers through his hair. "I'd be very surprised if you didn't with what the two of you have done."

He gave a little half smile. "I have a hard time believing how much I've come to love him since we've met."

They sat in silence for a little while. "So. You wearing his shirt is an interesting look. I don't think I've ever seen you in a t-shirt before."

"It's because I find them to be terribly tacky."

She laughed. "It doesn't look terrible if that makes you more comfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable; I just find them tacky." He smiled as he gripped at the collar and pulled it to his nose. He inhaled deeply. "This one smells nice though." He worried at his lower lip again. "It smells like him."

"That's because it's his, Kanny." She laughed a little again.

"I _know_ it's because it's his." He smelled it again. "It's just nice to smell him even when he's not here." He leaned against Porrim. "I'm finally starting to feel more... more human, Porrim."

"Are you now?"

"Yes." He sighed with a small smile. "I hadn't realized before how... How alone I was. Even when I was surrounded by people."

"Oh?"

"I think that, perhaps, Cronus has helped me to _relax_ a little."

"I'm glad he has, Kanny."

"Hm?"

She smiled. "You just seem a little more content and at ease than I think I've ever seen you before. It's a nice change, I think."

He smiled. "That's because I am." He nuzzled into her arm. "And thank you."

"Of course, Kanny." She closed her eyes and sighed.

He looked up at her. "Is everything okay... with you?"

She opened one eye to look at him with a smile. "I think that may be the firs time you've ever asked me if _I'm_ okay."

"Are you?"

She shrugged. "Nothing out of the usual. Just looking for a new roommate after Latula graduates this semester. I need to be prepared."

His face flushed. "I forgot that she was graduating this semester."

She nodded. "It would all be perfect if I could just find someone to take her place." She pursed her lips. "Do you know anyone that might be willing to room with me?"

"Not that I'm aware of." He sat in silence for a little while. "Where is Latula going after she graduates?"

"Oh Kanny are you still Facebook stalking her?" She grimaced.

"I never!"

"No, you did quite frequently."

His face flushed even more. "I just notice things about her."

"Have you noticed the fact that the only male bodied person she has any kind of relationship with is her boyfriend?"

He looked away. "That doesn't mean that I can't notice things."

She looked right at him, her brow furrowed. "Kankri I've known you for a very long time and I know that you're obsessed with the girl. You've _been_ obsessed since you me her."

"I have not!"

"You have so and now you have a boyfriend that you're happy with, Kanny. Why do that to yourself?"

He sighed. "Porrim I assure you that I am not obsessed with her." He ran his tongue over his teeth. "Although in high school I may have been, I have since grown out of that."

"I hope that you're not lying to me, Kankri."

He shook his head. "I'm not."

Though to be entirely honest he wasn't sure that he was telling the truth. He had been obsessed with Latula when he was younger, and he still thought that she was very interesting with all of her little quirks, but now it was more just general interest rather than any kind of attraction. Though he wasn't sure that that was any better.

He tried to clear it from his head and think about Cronus instead. At least no one thought that he was obsessed with him. He was just in love with him.

And that was much preferred.


	59. A New Man Prepares Himself

Cronus stood in the pharmacy staring at the condoms. He scrunched his nose trying to figure out which kind he should get. What would Kankri like? After all, he'd never done anything like this before, so he should at least enjoy it. He shook his head. Maybe he should just go to that novelty store. They'd at least be able to help him find something. He smirked a little at the thought of finding something there to be a little kinky, but he knew that Kankri wouldn't go for anything like that. Not right away anyway.

He grabbed some Astroglide and sighed. He'd never had to really buy this shit to use with anyone else. The people he'd fucked around with were always prepared and if they weren't, they'd found good ways to improvise. But with Kankri he needed it to be right. He rolled it in his palms and shrugged. Whatever. He could figure out some fancier shit once they got into more.

But he wanted to do this _right_. He set down the lube and walked back out to his car. He headed toward the store and parked in front of it, pulling at the high neck of Kankri's sweater. Damn that thing was too hot. He unbuckled and got out, locking the door behind him. He went inside and looked around a little nervously. The worker at the counter was hidden behind a magazine and a pair of aviators. He quirked an eyebrow and looked up at him, his face otherwise unreadable. "ID." Cronus raised his eyebrows and pulled his fake out, handing it over to him. "A real ID not this useless hunk of plastic." Cronus bit his lip and pulled out his real ID, handing it over. Aviators handed his fake back and looked at it. "Shit why'd you even think you needed that fuckin' piece of shit, you're old enough to be in here." He handed the real ID back.

"I guess habit." He laughed nervously and looked around.

"All right I can tell by looking at you that you've never been in a place like this before." He put his magazine down and leaned on the counter. "What can this fine, sexy lad find for you?" He gestured at himself.

"Well, uh, I've been datin' someone for a while now..."

"And you wanna get your groove on. Sure. Is this a fine ass lady or a little hottie gentleman?"

He laughed a little again. "It's a guy."

"Fan-freakin'-tastic. What do you need, oh virginal one?"

"I ain't a fuckin' virgin."

"Then why in the Sam Hill are you blushing like one?"

"Well I ain't never had to exactly prepare nothin' before!" He was beginning to get annoyed with this guy. "So listen, specs..."

"Dave."

"What?"

"The name's Dave and I'd appreciate it if you kept names like specs to a minimum. They are not cool. At all."

He scoffed. "And you're cool?"

"No, I am the coolest of the cool. Now what can I get to aid you in you sexy soiree?" He stood up straight and made a large motion with his arms, as if gesturing to the entire store.

"I need fuckin' condom and lube and I don't know what to get."

"Hey watch the language, mister."

"What?"

"If I can't swear then nobody in here can. You are allowed to use the words frick, heck, spoon-dangled, heelies and poody brain." His expression hadn't changed at all. This guy had a great deadpan. Either that or he'd been through the spiel a lot.

"Yeah all right. Whatever." They sat in silence for a little while before Dave picked the conversation back up.

"So has your sexy man done the nasty before?"

Cronus thought for a moment. In all technicality... "No. He ain't never fucked, er, fricked."

"You caught yourself that's great." He walked out from behind the counter and led him to the condoms and lube. "Here we are. The Great Wall of Cock Socks."

"I thought you said..."

"I just wanted to see which one you'd pick." He gave a little smirk. The cocky bastard.

"Whatever. What should I fuckin' grab then?"

"Well if you're all about yourself then you can always just say fuck it and go in dry." He looked at him. "That was a joke. Don't do that you'll hurt his sweet little ass. Literally." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Really any latex condom's good when two guys get to doing a little of the horizontal tango, but," he picked up a box and handed it to Cronus, "here. When me and my sexy boy do the do we use these."

"Trojan?"

"Yup. Top of the line latex cock sleeves." He pulled some lube off of a shelf. "Here," and another, "that one too. Use those little shits together and you will be in a world of sexy fun times."

He looked at the tubes in his hand. Pjur? He'd never even heard of it before. "So this is gonna be good then?"

"Well yeah. You don't need me to tell you how to use it, right?"

"I have no fuckin' clue why I need two."

"One's for comfort one's for ease of access."

"Oh."

"Got anymore questions? Need to know how to prep him up?" He raised his eyebrows behind his shades. "Unless you're...?"

"Uh, no. I mean I wouldn't fuckin' care if I were the one getting fucked, but like... I dunno if he'd be entirely cool with that?"

He nodded like he was bobbing his head to the beat of a song. "Yeah man I get that. Me and my man used to be like that." He snorted. "Not anymore, though. Damn we've done some crazy shit."

"And I don't wanna hear about none of it right now." He looked away and then back up. "I, uh, I'd like more info about preppin' for this shit. I don't wanna fuckin' hurt him."

"Hey man I get that. Come on, kid, lemme take you to the back and get this explained to you good and proper." He motioned with his head for him to follow and walked away, hands in his pockets.

Cronus followed after him, unsure as to whether he really needed this. After all he _could _just check the fucking internet. But hearing it straight from someone that knew what they were talking about would probably be nice, too.

After two hours in the back with horror stories and shitty, impov rap about what not to do with your fingers, he discovered that the internet may have been a better option. At least he could have turned off any ridiculous music that started playing. He shook his head as he went back out to his car, his purchases in hand. He was at least ready now. He was going to do this right when Kankri was ready.

He bit at his lip a little as he got in his car, putting the bag in the passenger seat. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and looked down at it. He could text him. Right now. He could text him and set up a time to meet up and... Yeah. He took a deep breath and let it out before writing the text.

_hey babe. you maybe vwanna havwe some fun tonight? vwe could go rent a movwie or just vwatch somethin on netflix in your lounge. just lemme knowv._

He waited for a few seconds but received a reply almost immediately.

_That actually s9unds quite enjoya6le, l9ve. W9uld y9u like t9 meet in my r99m ar9und six this evening?_

_yeah babe that sound fuckin svweet. ill bring my laptop and the cords so vwe can vwatch somethin then._

_9f c9urse. See y9u then! 3_

He smiled at the little heart in the text. Kankri had never sent him a heart before.

_yeah babe. see you then 3_


	60. A New Man Comes to a Realization

He sat in the car in front of his building for half an hour before finally willing himself to go back inside. He was still wearing Kankri's sweater and the thing was _really_ starting to itch. He grabbed the bag and went back to his room. He looked at the clock on his desk. Barely four. He stripped down, took out his contacts, and still holding onto the sweater, climbed up to his bed. He set an alarm for five-thirty and curled up to take a nap, holding the sweater to his face so he could feel closer to Kankri.

_He was sixteen, sitting by himself in the cafeteria. Someone had dropped what looked like a fucking heart on his tray. He picked it up. It was still beating._

_He squeezed it and felt a pain in his chest._

_This was his heart. He was holding his heart in his fucking hands._

_He couldn't bring himself to put it down. He put it in his left hand and started eating again, doing his best to ignore the steady rhythm there._

_He finished and walked to class. Everyone was staring. Their faces were blank, hollow._

_None of them said anything but he could sense that they all wanted to say something._

_"Hey look at the freak with his heart in his hands."_

_"Look at that nerd; do you think one of stupid spells actually worked?"_

_"Oh wow don't bleed on my shoes, dude, I just got these."_

_He held his heart closer to his chest and sat in his desk. He heard another rhythm that was softer than the one in his hands, but quickly falling in time with his._

_He felt a hand tap his shoulder and he turned to look._

_It was someone with a __**face**__. Someone older. Reddish-brown eyes stared back at him and, although he had it in a box, he realized that the thumping was his heart. The man smiled and opened the box. His heart was wrapped in bandages and covered in scars._

_He realized that his heart was going to look like that someday. Torn to shreds by time, but still beating._

_He smiled as he pressed his heart to his chest and felt it sink into the gash where he'd tried to rip it out in the first place._

_It seemed to want to be back inside of him, but it hurt. He'd forgotten just how much it hurt to feel._

He woke with a start. The sweater was still in his hands. He held it close as he sat up, looking at the clock. Quarter after five. Well at least he'd almost slept until his alarm went off. He climbed down and grabbed his things to take a shower. That should help him calm down a little. He showered quickly and did his best to do his hair as best as he could in the time he had left. It wasn't _perfect_, but Kankri would probably be okay with how it looked.

He grabbed the things he'd gotten earlier and tucked them into his messenger bag with his laptop, a few cords and the red sweater. With another quick glance in the mirror and one last sweep of things he might need, including his contacts case, he left and locked the door behind him. He walked down the hall to Kankri's room and knocked on it

Kankri opened the door and smiled when he saw him. "Hello, Cronus."

"Hey, Kan." He grinned. "Mind if I come in?"

"Not at all." He lead him into the room and Cronus couldn't help but note that he locked the door behind them. "Would you like to watch a movie now then?"

"Yeah, that sounds sweet."

They walked into the lounge and Cronus set up his laptop and the wireless mouse and keyboard then sat next to Kankri. He used Kankri's leg as a mouse pad. "So what you wanna watch today?"

"Hm, I'm not sure. Perhaps you'd like to choose?"

He grinned. "All right Grease it is." He closed out of Netflix and went to his movies folder to bring it up.

"You like Grease?"

"I fuckin' love it. You ever seen it?" He raised his eyebrows with an excited grin.

"No."

"Perfect. Let's watch it then."

And so they did. Cronus found it immensely enjoyable, singing along with all of the songs and quoting most of the movie. But by the end he couldn't help notice that Kankri hadn't moved. He raised an eyebrow. "Somethin' wrong, babe?"

He shrugged once. "I'm not sure that I enjoyed it."

Cronus bit his lip. To be _entirely_ honest, he wasn't sure he liked it either. But it just had that great 1950s vibe to it and young John Travolta? He could stand to watch it for young John Travolta. "Sorry, babe. Why didn't you say anything about it?" He leaned over and gave him a soft kiss.

"You were enjoying yourself. I didn't want you to stop on my account."

"Nah, babe! If you ain't likin' somethin' then I'll _always_ stop." He pressed another kiss to his lips, moving his own slowly. Kankri wrapped his arms around his neck and returned it with a soft moan. Before they got much further, Cronus pulled back with a nervous grin on his face. "So, uh, speakin' of always stoppin' when you ask... Babe I know you said you were ready right? As in like _ready_."

"Yes."

"Are you really?"

"I... I'm not sure. It scares me to think about it a little."

Cronus swallowed and looked at his bag. "Well, babe, I just wanted to tell you that like... When you're _really_ ready you gotta let me know, all right?"

"Of course I will."

"And, uh, just so you're, like, _ready_ I just gotta ask somethin' you might be a little offended by..." He was most nervous about this question. How the fuck do you ask it without upsetting someone?"

"What is it?" He was smiling kindly at him. Fuck it was just getting harder to bring himself to ask when his face was like that.

"Okay, like..." He could feel a dark blush spreading over his cheeks. "have you ever fingered yourself?"

Kankri blinked a few times. "What?"

"Babe you heard me don't make me say it again." He looked away and scratched at the back of his head.

"Why do you need to know?"

"Because apparently this shit is easier on you if you're like _prepared_ for it." He looked back up at him. "I mean _I_ could help you and like get you ready, but like... I was told that it's better if you get ready a couple weeks ahead of time." Kankri pushed Cronus away and stared at the floor. "Babe?"

"Don't speak. Not right now. I need to think."

He took the hint and moved away some and started to think about his dream. _Kankri was_ _the boy with the heart in the box._ He shook his head. He didn't really know where that thought came from. Probably his dream. It was stranger than any he'd had recently.

It occurred to him that the scars might have been to more than just his heart.

He turned his head and watched while he thought.

Kankri had his face buried in the neck of his red and black striped sweater and his hands clutching at his hair.. He just wanted to reach out and touch him. To hold him and tell him that it was _okay_. He didn't need to know about these things. He could wait. He _would_ wait.

He was in love with Kankri Vantas, and now he actually knew it. As they sat there something had clicked. He never wanted to lose this man.

And his stupid question meant that that might just happen. _Smooth move, Ampora._

But eventually Kankri looked up at him and his hopes raised a little.

This was it.

He was going to get an answer.


	61. Someone Different Answers

_**Author's Note:**__ Holy shit you guys. I'm so sorry that this took so long. To those of you that have been wondering where I've been, the answer is sitting here. Staring at my screen and just __**wondering**__ why I couldn't write. And it's not that I COULDN'T write. It was just that this wasn't coming to me. And I know that this isn't a great explanation, but it's all I can say. I don't know how long it's going to take me to get a chapter out after this, but I'll try to not take as long as the last time._

* * *

He sat with his legs drawn to his chest and looked at Cronus. He was afraid of what this question could mean. And of what his answer could do. He knew the answer. He was the _only_ one that knew the answer. He didn't like this question, though. It pried. It was just so... _personal_.

But why was he so nervous about it? This man had had his penis in his _mouth _and _down his throat_. He'd seen him more vulnerable than anyone else.

So he took a deep breath. He just had to tell the truth. And to ask some questions of his own.

He kept his gaze on Cronus. "I..." He swallowed. "I've tried to... In the past month. On occasion. But it never felt _right_." His face flushed darkly and he hid it behind his knees. "I don't see why you need to know this! In fact I feel highly triggered that you would even _ask_ if I have as that's incredibly personal information!" He could feel himself crying a little.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Kan! Kanny! Kankri! Babe!" Cronus had a hand on his back, rubbing circles. "I just... I needed to know if you'd done anything like that so if, like, we get caught up in the heat a the moment and you decided that you wanna do it? I mean it'd be horrible if you didn't like what we were doin' yeah? I don't wanna hurt you, so I had to ask." He swallowed hard.

"I _suppose_ that makes sense..."

"Babe, are you okay?"

He sighed and pulled his knees closer. "I'm perfectly fine."

Cronus leaned in and quirked an eyebrow. "Babe you look about as far from fine as I've ever seen you." He reached out to touch him, but drew his hand back.

Kankri sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just not sure why _exactly_ you need to know. Explain."

He let out a heavy sigh. "Babe, like I said. I gotta know so that, like, when you're ready, I know how much we gotta, like, prepare you. Cause if you ain't done nothin' like it before then it's gonna fuckin' hurt. And I don't wanna hurt you, babe."

He swallowed hard and looked back up at Cronus. "Prepare me?"

"Uh, yeah, I gotta like... Stretch you."

"Why?" His brow furrowed.

"To, uh, to be able to actually have some full on sex? I mean we don't fuckin' have to, but you said that you wanted to earlier so I thought maybe like doin' some research on how to do that might not be a bad idea." He let out a deep sigh and Kankri could feel him as he leaned back into the couch. "I don't fuckin' know, babe. Just fuckin' forget I said anything and we'll go on our way. Have some sloppy make-outs, give some killer blow jobs. We both seem to like that."

He took a deep breath and let it out. "I suppose that I hadn't thought about it that way. It just felt... _Dirty_." He glanced over at Cronus to seem him looking back at him inquisitively.

"Babe. If it feels dirty then you don't gotta go through with it yet. I mean yeah, I'll be a little disappointed, but that's just the way it goes. I'm willing to wait until you're ready."

He swallowed and nodded slowly before finally relaxing a little. "It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, love. I'm just not sure if I really am ready. I was so caught up in the heat of the moment before..."

"And that's fine. I don't want you to do nothin' that you don't wanna, but you gotta _tell _me. I ain't a mind reader."

He smiled and gave a little laugh. "I know that you're not, Cronus." He moved over to him and wrapped his arms around him softly. "And I greatly appreciate that."

Cronus sat for a few moments before returning the hug, being careful not to embrace him too tightly. "I just want you to be happy, babe." His voice was soft as he nuzzled against him.

Kankri turned his head a little pressed a kiss to his lips. "Thank you." He tightened his grip on him and Cronus did the same.

"I just love you so much." He laughed weakly.

"I love you, too."

Cronus's grip tightened and he pressed another soft kiss to his lips. "Then do you just wanna forget about what I said?"

He thought for a moment. "No. No I don't think that I do."

"Really?" He pulls his head back and stares intently into Kankri's eyes.

"Of course. It doesn't make sense to _forget_ about it. It's a very real step in our relationship and I'd like to have a few days to think about what it could mean for us." He pressed another soft kiss to his lips. "I'm a little nervous about this step."

He chuckled and kissed him back. "Yeah babe I'm a little nervous about it, too. But I think we'll both like it."

He took a deep breath and hummed. "I hope you're right."

He pressed another kiss to his lips. "If you don't like it I'll stop. If you don't like anything I'll stop, babe."

"I know you will." He nuzzled against his shoulder and smiled.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, listening to each other's breathing and heartbeats.

Cronus spoke first. "Do you wanna maybe just go to bed? I mean I know it's early but..."

"Yes. Let's just go to bed." He leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before standing and moving back to his room. Cronus followed behind him closely and they both stripped down and got into bed. They wrapped their limbs around each other, saying their good nights and I love you's before closing their eyes and trying to sleep.

After a few minutes Cronus began to laugh. "Babe it's like eight thirty, what the fuck are we doing?"

He laughed with him. "We're getting a good night's sleep." He pressed another kiss to his lips.

"How can I get a good night's sleep when the most beautiful guy in the world has his arms wrapped around my chest?"

His face flushed and he chewed on his lip. "Cronus I'm not beautiful."

"Yeah you are." He pressed another soft kiss to his lips. "Now let's pretend to sleep for a while." He laughed again.

"All right, love. Goodnight." He nuzzled back against him.

As they lay together, he thought about what he'd been asked and whether he was really ready. He knew that he wasn't just yet, but soon. Someday soon.


End file.
